Is this quarantine making anyone else want to jump on a trampoline? Or shave their back hair into a mohawk? Or throw something at the TV every time a commercial says “we’re all in this together?” Or pretend the floor is lava and eat string cheese? Anybody? Cool cool cool. PLEASE FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM!
Glad we’re not doing handshakes anymore. We were always like Goldilocks – too hard, or too soft, or just too sweaty. Not a fan of the new “foot bump” greeting though. You know those guys who have a couple drinks and shake your hand way too hard? Imagine that guy drunk guy coming in and round-housing you to the ground as a ‘hello.’ PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! IT MEANS A LOT!
Always appreciate gifts someone buys for you on Black Friday. They have to wait in lines and battle other customers to get it for you. It means more when they get you a $1500 TV for only $150 and 3-5 years probation for assault. FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM FOR MORE!
QUARANTINE TIP – Get into pickling things. Pickle onions, carrots, golf balls, t-shirts, etc – anything you can find. Then you can start a new pickled clothing line. You’re welcome. Follow @lamebook on instagram!
Are there more bugs in your apartment/house than normal, or is it just that we’re spending more time at home? It’s great nature is recovering some with everyone staying home, but it’s not good that we are naming bugs and treating them like additional roommates. And please follow @lamebook on instagram!
Ivy league schools are offering over 400 of their classes for free online. One of them better be the math/statistics/gambling course that teaches us how to win at blackjack so we can all become millionaires. Just shuffling cards is hard, but we can figure it out. FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM!