Friday, April 15, 2011

Jesus Saves…

previous post: Senior Status



  1. Jesus could have saved me the minute I wasted on this. And I stopped reading after the first ten or so

    The lamest part is those assholes kept it up this long. Someone should tell them how fanfuckingtastically lame dicks they are

    I bet it’s the same Bryan as in the Facial Book one

  2. what* fanfuckingtastically lame dicks they are

    I am brain damaged, now

  3. The second part of this post was all blurry for me 🙁 iPad fail. But judging by the first, I didn’t need to read on anyway.

    Although.. I AM glad Jesus saves his word documents regularly.

  4. Ok.. I read a little more… He saves a vial of pokemon tears to raise the dead? These kids on crack ??

  5. Why, mogumbo, WHY? Why are you sabotaging yourself like this?
    Quit reading while you still have part of your soul…

  6. I want Jesus to destroy them.

  7. ‘Jesus saves a stitch in time on behalf of nine.’

    I didn’t know he sewed, the unjustly deified bender.

  8. I stopped reading after the geico one… that was good I knew it would fail after that… well it failed before that….

  9. Thankfully, I knew to stop at the third one. Well, this was definitely lame. So, great job, LB.


  11. TL;DR

  12. I feel a little like I deserved this, after commenting yesterday that I missed the long entries that truly justified a ‘Read the rest of this entry’ link.

  13. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    Not know by many but apparently Jesus screamed “Feet first you fucktards!” when he was taken from the cross.

  14. poobag That is both erroneous and blasphemous.

    He actually said, “Fuck, fuck, Fuck! Have I missed Easter? I fucking love eggs.”

  15. Funny stuff. Love all the false outrage passed off as “this isn’t funny!!!11!!!Bbq!!1” when really, I can guarantee you most of the folks above me are offended Christians. Give it a rest folks. You don’t see me getting on a moral high horse of objectivity when the sanctity of white trash is called into question.

  16. You think uptight Christians read lamebook?

  17. It’s really just not funny at all

  18. Jesus saves …people like this?!

  19. Yes. I’m an offended christian.
    In my free time, I like to try dividing by zero.

    Let me guess, killamall, you submitted this?

  20. *yawn* Boring! These type of things weren’t funny the first 56,000 times they appeared on here and the last 730,000 haven’t been any better.

  21. Jesus wept.

  22. Lamebook’s taking the piss.

  23. Jesus saves… time by not readin this horribly long stream of retardation with a side of too many Pokemon references

  24. Umm, Killamall? No one was saying they were offended. Some were saying that it was, in fact, lame, or that they stopped reading because it was so repetitive. No one was shouting, “OH MY GAWD JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS YOU BASTARDS,” so settle down.

  25. This would have been funnier if it ended right at the Geico post…after that, boring redundancy!!

  26. 32ndson, yes. Her name was MEG.

  27. Vancouver, you were so much more polite than I was, there…

    Killamale is probably the Slayer chick from yesterday

  28. killamall, I’m a Christian (albeit a liberal one so perhaps not the sort you imply) and I fucking love a good joke at the expense of my religion – and there’s some pretty hilarious ones. That doesn’t make ALL of them funny, and this . . . this really lost it’s lol factor pretty early on.

  29. @killamall So the people who were unamused by Suroor were all butt hurt body builders then? The people unamused by the posts about great grandparents are all great grandparents themselves? Literally I could keep going. No, sorry, we just think it’s an obnoxiously long unfunny post. Oddly enough, those happen around here kiddo. But it’s cool, snap those undies out of their twist and move on.

  30. @Wandr, I’m guessing took place in it and is now buttsore to find it’s not as funny as it was in his mind. Maybe it was a “you had to be there” kind of moment.

  31. *part not place

  32. teal deer

  33. Greatat!!! Thaet was soo shitt theat I headbooteed my kyborrd undddd noww it doen”t typpppre prrperllllly anyymore

  34. Too long, will never read.

  35. CommentsAtLarge

    I too stopped at the Geico one; that one was amusing (though predictable) but it should have ended there.

  36. Just awful- you could clearly say about 13 trillion things after Jesus saves…thank god it was their beddie-bye time finally

  37. I find this to be inept and rediculous. The comments are ludicrous and unfit. The folks that have time to read this…i read two comments before I only registered to make this commment.

    Kids who like this kind of garbage are really STUPID and lack any parental provisions at all.

    It’s your life….don’t screw it up!

  38. thanks, dad.
    props to the buddy with the sephiroth “comment”…an excellent strategy.

  39. Jesus…..fucking Christ cock sucking whorish mother of God and Imamofo……they should have saved their breath!

  40. TL;DR

  41. Jesus saves…with Groupon. saving Jesuses everywhere since 2010.

  42. I hope this pathetic lot of virgin Jesus freaks never get laid.

  43. This is a little off topic, but I use to pronounce sephiroth as ‘sha ruff a ruff’ … Back when ff7 was cool, I was still in high school and couldn’t wait to get a chokobo tatt… Lordy times have changed 🙂

  44. wordpervert, you mean the people in the post? I’m fairly certain they aren’t the church-going type.

  45. I was half asleep when I looked at this post last night, lametothemin. All I saw was a string of comments mentioning Jesus, so I figured it was a bunch of young Christians. I missed the gist. Oh well. So rather than hoping they stay virgins forever, I’ll hope for all their dicks to drop off instead. It’d be an Easter miracle.

  46. They obviously didn’t take a hint that noone was clicking “like” on their comments.

  47. Everyone knows that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was boiled al dente for our sins, and Jesus is just some opportunist who claims all the credit.

    I feel strongly, having read all of those status comments, that when one mocks Jebus, it ought to be good mockery. Anything else just gives a bad name to real religion-mockers.

    People who mock Jesus poorly are the Al-Qeada of the non-religious World.

  48. @43: I doubt anyone that failed to correctly pronounce ‘Sephiroth’ could ever defeat weapon. I give you a 1/100 chance. Weak.

    And it’s ‘Chocobo’ 😀

  49. Good God… Some of these were funny, and that Justin kid fucking ruined it by repeating the same ones over and over involving saving money. Fuck.

  50. I’m not religious in any way: It’s still not funny. The original, the one, the only:

    “Jesus saves, but George Nelson withdraws!”

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