Thursday, June 9, 2011

Parent Steals the Status

previous post: Perfect Parents



  1. First!

  2. piss

  3. Is that all, rookie? I was hoping for something a little more inspired…

  4. Fine then.


  5. FIZZIF? Every black guy know what the fizzif is,our favorite ammendment.

  6. One, two, three, four, FIZZIF!
    ah, Chappelle.

  7. Hi hi, good one Dan’s mom.

  8. I wanna know what Dan said about someone else :/

  9. Hi, Dan’s mom. That is unfortunate that Dan did what you said he did. Yet, you yourself are a reactive, tactless, low-class pig for posting that. How do I know? First off, I am not a mother, but I know that it is NEVER the job of a mother to publicly humiliate her son in that manner. Back in the days of no electronic media (which I’m sure you remember, if you have a teen-aged son… unless you were confined to a fucking barn for the entire duration of your upbringing, which wouldn’t surprise me) mothers who gave a rat’s ass about raising their kids properly would bring them to face the people their actions were an affront to and have them make amends for any wrongdoing. They didn’t hang a banner along the roof that read “HAHA! DAN PISSED THE BED TIL HE WAS 8!” I don’t know if I should call you step-mom or just white trash, but whatever, do yourself a favor and quit screwing with his life unless you are okay with the possibility of him showing up to end yours with a pistol while you’re sleeping.

  10. And no I am not Dan. I am probably a lot closer to his mom’s age than his, and possibly older. And yes, Lamebook has definitely confirmed my sneaky suspicion that life would be better if half the race underwent some type of spaying/neutering procedure. Is there a Humane Society for humans?

  11. @throwingtofu: Hm…actually, I’m glad you posted that. I’m not a mother and I’m closer to Dan’s age (though I’m way out of my teenage years), so at first I didn’t think anything of it. But you made a good point. His mother is acting more like a childish older sister than anything else.

  12. @tofu: To paraphrase Keanu Reeves in Parenthood, you need license to catch a fish but any asshole can be a parent.

  13. I know lots of parents of teens who, when you see them together, could make you SWEAR they were siblings by the way they interact and pick at each other. Ridicurous.

  14. I still wet the bed now… each night I wake up and piss all over my wife’s groin area whilst she sleeps… She has so far had six exploratory operations in an attempt to discover what’s fucking wrong with her bladder.

    We’ll laugh about it in years to come.

    It’s a Kraft.

  15. I am a fan of parents taking over their kids facebook to make the childs miserable. But you do make a good point throwingtofu saying something like that on a open forum is childish and not very mother like. BUT this all depends on the age of the child, above 17 – awesome comment/ -17 childish and hurtful.

    Either way I still smile 🙂

  16. Hey, sometimes you just need to teach your kid how it feels like to have done unto them what they do unto others.
    Sometimes bullies have to be bullied a bit before their brains completely congeal into douchebagness

  17. first of all, you have no idea what Dan said. I agree that whether or not his mom’s response is okay is determined by is age, but can you consider for one moment that this could be some asshole kid that bullies people or repeatedly makes these kinds of judgement calls? She has every right to teach him exactly how it feels so that regardless of whether he’s pissed at, he can sympathize with the level of humiliation that the girl experienced. Given the about of stupid posts that show up here where adults think it’s okay to post that their ex has herpes, a small dick, or can only orgasm to animal porn, good for her if she smacks her kid in the proverbial pisser.

  18. …. and secondly?

  19. secondly, at least she didn’t say she’s caught him fucking himself with the broom.

  20. PraetorianXVIII

    Dan’s mom did the right thing.

  21. statusstealingmom

    Hi everyone. It’s Dan’s mom. Wow, who would of thought one random disciplinary action(meant to be shared by only those involved)would make it to lamebook and becomes so controversial.Bieng a mom is my favorite job,and helping others with their unruly children is my profession.I am so happy to see that this posting sparked so much thought, and I think the most amount of “likes” I have seen. Anyways this is not about me.I do want to let you all know that no children were harmed,including Dan,in this parental intervention.I would be happy to elaborate if anyone is still interested.It’s kind of a funny story 🙂

  22. Elaborate, Dan’s mom!

  23. Dan’s mom is a f@(king c@nt. First, ‘no more facebook’ is lame as sh!t. Second, if the information was true, way to teach the kid to cover up the truth. What do you want Dan to grow up to be, a politician? Third, the girl may well have deserved it even more than Dan.
    It horribly scares me that this b!tch supposedly has a job helping other people with their parenting. Parents like her are leading the human race into a sad, sad state.

  24. But ok, let’s assume here Dan was an @$$ and completely out of line. Cutting of facebook is still ridiculous. I mean suppose instead of facebook, he had spread the rumour at school. Would he be forbidden to go to school? Or perhaps he said it to a friend while they were hanging out in the yard. Would he be forbidden to go to the yard? If you want to be disciplinary, get to the root of the problem. Dan has now learned to avoid letting his rumours be discovered by his mom on facebook, nothing more and nothing less. In other words, next time he’ll spread them via another method or hide them better. If it were me, I’d be spreading some rumours about how my mom is a b1tch. Oh wait, in this case it would be fact, not rumour.

  25. Danwiththebadmom

    Hey this is Dan. @throwingtofu and @mad2physicist Maybe if your parents had done something like my mom did to me, you wouldn’t be disrespecting people you don’t know in comments. I love my mom and I wouldn’t shoot her and I stopped peeing my pants. When my mom posted this I didn’t cry, I laughed. I even helped come up with it. Grounding doesn’t work but I learned my lesson here.

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