Thursday, February 28, 2013

Slow Clap for Jason

previous post: Ouch…



  1. Masturbation aside, depending on the job you’re applying for, they tend not to go for adrenaline junkies, either, they’re too much of a risk/liability, but what do I know? I don’t even have a job, I’m just good at giving advice…

  2. Happy lamebook day

  3. At least the “excessive masturbation” part is honest. I think it’s worse to have “socialising” as one of your interests. “What do you like to do?” “Um, interact with other humans.”

  4. Yeah, man, Lamebook technically counts as socializing. Imagine how many jobs we could get just linking our usernames!

  5. Shove that thumb up your ass and clap your cheeks together, you filthy whore! What? Too much of a pussy to make an account to comment? Ante up, lamebook! I’ve got all fucking day…or until I pass out from drinking too much. Put your money where your mouse is!

    People wanna bitch about lamebook being too vulgar? and then bitch about how lamebook has gone to hell? It’s because of all this pc shit you people are on about…boohoo “I might offend somebody”, “Someone might not like what I have to say and give me a thumbs down”

    This isn’t a fucking popularity contest. I don’t even like half of you motherfuckers! You want to spice it up? Lets fucking spice it up! Dress up like a fucking molly maid while your at it, bitch. We can play dress up while I shove my wrist up your un-lubed asshole in front of everyone!

  6. How bout a poll here? I bet most of the pansy ass fuckers here are from the U.S. (Beatus is exempt, and at least one guy that doesn’t have an account, but I’m not sure about a couple of ya’) But, all the fun people seem to be from either Australia or the U.K. At least from what I can tell from the typical comments, sorted by timezone and peak usage.

  7. Ha! Trying to get some Passion out of this crowd? Good luck with that mate.

  8. I know, it’s like trying to entertain a bunch of fucks with downs syndrome. I’m going to go finish my beer, masturbate, and shower, but I’ll fucking be back. I’ve got enough GOD DAMNED passion to go around. I’m going to passion all over the fucking place if this place doesn’t liven the fuck up!

  9. Cheers to the Macedonian Masterbater!

  10. People, please listen to captn here or he will have u bendover.

  11. And decorate you with passion all up in the shower

  12. Alright, guys. I’m going to be completely honest here. I’m far too intoxicated to masturbate right now, but the shower felt great!

  13. And these old customers ain’t buying nothing from this store. So better ignore them ancients!

  14. Capitan can spell very well while his intoxication is preventing him from sinning

  15. Hey, would you look at that. I like all of those activities, except going to the gym. I like my exercise to happen outdoors.

  16. Oh, no, there’s plenty of sin going on here. It’s just that none of it involves me cock…right now! I can still hit people with it. It just won’t hurt as much, so I’ll have to use it as a whip instead of a baton, like I’m used to!

  17. Hey, Capn, how much wood would a wood cock cock if a wood cock could cock wood?

  18. Hopefully, for the sake of future generations…As much cocking as possible. If I had it my way, the wood cock would out-cock all the cocks and splinter its way into cervix across the globe.

  19. take it

  20. The real question is how much is excessive?

  21. Hot.

  22. Chances are Brad has only skydived and bungee jumped once or twice and now he’s so chuffed that he did it he now includes it in “hobbies and interests”. It really pisses me off when people do that. Oh yeah, and want to sky dive for charity do you? And you want me to give you money to do this? Fuck off!


    cock wood my email is my username
    —–better beat my own meat—–

  24. Skydiving for charity is pussy work….We need to arrange some sort of “Advanced Interrogation Techniques” for charity gig.

  25. When I see CapnJaques, I don’t read, I just down vote.

  26. Firstly, unless you’re 15, having a ‘hobbies and interests’ on your resume is completely redundant.

    Secondly, are you still conscious, Capn?

  27. As funny as that is.. it’s kind of a dick thing to do in this economy.

  28. Capt, you left out S.Africa in your ramblings. Hope the head doesn’t hurt too much today!

  29. So bitter now 🙁

  30. Heya Franky! I’m concious now! I crashed out hard yesterday, slept like a baby! Now I’m just chillin’ on deck smoking a bowl, getting ready to tie up in port and go to the arcade for a bit. I’m far too passive to argue with some sour poon today…lol…

    Anymore, these days, drinking heavily tends to put me out of commission for a couple days while I rehydrate. Some hq bud helps though, for sure, just mellows me out and makes me hungry 😛 I guess I did leave out the southies, lost-dog…gosh, I can’t remember who lives there right now. It’s so hard keeping track of everyone here sometimes. Gonna have to do a location poll or something here, at least, ya know, for the relevant users 😀

  31. Awww, man, see, ya’ know…I can’t ignore this, I have to say something. Some of you are real assholes. It’s goopy vaginal discharge like leetsoup up there that make us look bad…Quick, my fellow droogies! Let’s hold it down and shove a sweaty sock in its mouth before this shit gets out of hand and more goons show up and try to foul this joint up!

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