Monday, September 20, 2010

The Family Album

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42 Comments

  1. The first couple named their kid Bella… sweet Jeebus. Stake them all now and get it over with.

  2. The moral of this story is Fuck People. And not in the good way.

  3. Actually the moral of the story is compulsory sterilization.

  4. The newborn in the second one looks like he already knows how fucked up his life is going to be.

  5. damn those scissoring lesbians!! damn them to hell!

  6. I’m guessing the first girl was named Bella before the Twilight craze unless the parents got in on it really early on. Isn’t it only a couple years old? She looks older than two.

  7. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Britany will look like a freak if they start her boob job with D cups. Christina should make her get a B first, then maybe after her 12th birthday she can go to a C cup and so on.

    It’s amazing that the swastika offends me less than Desiree’s situation (I am going to go ahead and place the blame for that atrocity on the mother.)

  8. They already look like a bunch of freaks.

  9. #2 just makes me sick. Of course, the parents will raise their kid to be severely racist too. Classy work…and the cycle continues.

  10. Bela looks like she could already be a vampire with those teeth.

  11. lol @ dukey…

    you sound like you’ll make a grade ‘A’ parent. 🙂

  12. “No baby, why would you want to go to uni and become a doctor? You work at hooters like mummy, make your mummy proud!”

  13. @Douchetastic

    The books came out several years ago (2005 from what I can tell from Google), so it’s still possible. That kid’s pretty young. Anyone crazy enough to put fake fangs and sparkles into their Christmas portrait would totally name their kid after a book character.

  14. I think Desiree strips at my club..

  15. Before I read the caption for #1, I thought there was something horribly wrong with their skin. I was not relieved when I read the caption. Twilight makes me sad.

  16. mass, i had a heart-stopping moment when i read that, without checking the names in the photos, thinking that you were referring to the girl with the balloon in photo 3…

    whew!

  17. alord,I am sure Christina’s Mom will eventually point her in that direction as well … maybe incorporating the balloon into the act.

  18. For those who are quick to condemn or be “offended” by the swastika, dont be so quick to jump to conclusions, I know quite a few people with them and none of these people are nazis, they have them because they were war Souvenirs owned by a family member who was a WW2 veteran. I also know people who have Japanese swords and flags as war souvenirs.

  19. Even though Twilight sparked a huge popularity for the name “Bella,” Isabella was already on the top 10 list for pretty much this entire last decade.

    On another note…this kinda makes me weep for humanity.

  20. Oops I don’t think the kid with the balloon is Christina..

    Anyway, nice to see you alord.

  21. Swastika aside, that’s an equally appropriate picture of naked chicks in the baby’s room (well, I assume its the baby’s room. I suppose it could also be the father’s, who is addicted to meth and jobless holding his baby for the first and likely last time).

  22. Shelby’s baby looks like (s)he is already a meth addict picking at face scabs.

  23. I used to love the name Isabella. Damn you Stephanie for taking that from me. 🙁

    @Jim: Something tells me this is not the case. Just a feeling I get.

  24. I think the baby will be just fine… can you not see it puking in disgust at its environs?

  25. I wonder if that cunt (not the baby) in the second one knows that the chicks in the poster aren’t Aryan

  26. Why are all so full of hate? You guys know that that there are people out there with different views than you right? and you have to be nice to everyone, even Nazis and gay pretend vampires and Hooters girls, especially Hooters girls.

  27. I think that’s the unhappiest looking baby I’ve ever seen. Not that I blame the poor thing.

  28. Future Hooters girl? Why do I need to wait? I just roll into the local preschool and throw around some cookies. Those little bitches dance and wriggle like they’ve been doing it their whole life (and the youngsters are quite flexible). Then naptime allows me to share my milk.

  29. lllllb, I was just thinking the same thing…that baby looks absolutely miserable. And is there something leaking out of its mouth? I can’t tell.

  30. That second photo is just fucking scandolous, i’m absolutely appalled!! I mean that type of turquise in such a small dark room!? It should be painted in much lighter natural tones.

    Christina is jumping the gun a bit, I mean, what if Britany grows up with really saggy, droopy, 10 mile wide milk sacks? Who’d pay to see them?! Well, i mean apart from ME who’d pay to see them?!

  31. …the thing is….you kinda got to have hooters to actually work at Hooters…May I recommend some guaranteed exercises and ryhmes to enhance THAT area?

    ” I must, I must, I must increase my bust!”
    *Great. I might have given my age away*

  32. @Jim_diGris (#18)

    In that case you know some pretty fucked up people. Even if one has inherited a swastika flag from one’s grandfather, who got it as a souvenir, …. there’s no need to put it on the wall! I’m sorry, but there’s really no excuse. Unless you’re a member of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, having a Nazi flag on your wall means you’re a neo-Nazi (and/or the most ignorant dumb-ass on the planet). End of story.

  33. Wow – ditto to buckle_up. My great-grandfather was a member of the KKK, and one of my uncles kept the robes and proudly displayed them when inherited them. You know what that makes my uncle? I’ll give you a hint – it’s not sentimental. It’s a racist bigot.

    Sure, the Nazi flag is part of history. But if you really want to preserve it that much, you can give it to a museum. The only way you display something like that is if you’re proud of what it means. Clearly this person is, as they have it up where anyone on their fb can see. That makes them exactly what buckle_up says.

  34. @Perstephane(#33)
    Actually, I proudly display the Nazi armband in my home… Right next to my grandfather’s military medals. Of course, the Nazi armband was ripped off a dead Nazi’s arm, but *shrug* whatever.

  35. @Snake eyezzz: I must be the same age: I totally lol-ed at your post.

    @everyone with someone who was in a war/WW2: it’s more fun to assume they are red-neck hick racists, who’ll end up riddled with bullets during a shoot-out with the police Vs whatever militia they belong to.

  36. Also, the first picture is gay and in a few years time those people are going to wake up and realise they’ve made a total arse out of themselves.

  37. @blindwit, an armband … well, that’s a whole different matter. You can never have enough Nazi armbands lying around.

  38. Just because they have the flag hanging up, does not mean they are racist. Just saying. That also does not mean people should attack the baby and the mother. Seriously, “Shelby’s baby looks like (s)he is already a meth addict picking at face scabs” ? That was such an inapropriate comment, not to mention all the other comments on here like that. Does that mean that if someone has a degrating picture of a woman, I can bitch and call them “sexist fucks”? No. So really, watch what you say, and who you attack when you go off mocking a family. Kay? Thanks.

  39. It is absolutely one hundred percent inappropriate to have a Nazi flag hanging in your house. I understand first amendment rights but if you have that flag in your house and a picture of it is on the internet you now no longer have the privilege of being considered an open minded American under no circumstances is it ok to have that flag hanging in your house. Anyone who is willing to hang the flag is deserving of any kind of humiliation applicable as a meager penance for the MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED AND DIED UNDER THAT FLAG.

  40. I don’t think anyone deserves to be mocked. Having their child called a “meth addicted baby” or calling the mom a “cunt”, and pretty much calling the father a “dead beat dad”. Everyone has their own opinions, and rights. Who is to say that they can not have the Swastika hanging in their house? I’m sure a lot of people have things that are “frowned upon” in their house. It does not make it wrong, it makes it THEIR choice. Not something that should make people ridicule them, and harrass their parenting skills, and the baby.

  41. Sounds like there may be a few things that would be “frowned upon” hanging around tbird’s house.

  42. Actually, there really is not anything “bad” in my house, thanks =) I was just trying to make a point.

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