Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Excellent…

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16 Comments

  1. …and if your picture is of you holding a wineglass in a douchebaggish manner *hint hint* then I’m going to assume that you’re a seasoned shemale whore who’s into double BJs and anal fisting.

  2. …and if your picture is of you making a duckface, I’m going to assume you are very tasty flambéed with a Grand Marnier sauce.

  3. vaginalroundhouse

    ….and if your picture is just your face then I am going to assume you are fat or you do not have a body.

  4. Steven’s logic is a bit flawed. If one were to see a picture of somebody in a kayak, then one might well assume that they are indeed into kayaking (although it is still an assumption – they may actually hate kayaking for all we know). To apply the same assumptions to somebody who is into sex would mean that the person ought to be pictured having sex – not half naked as Steven puts it. Pedantic, I know. But logical and therefore probably true!

  5. I don’t believe Facebook allows you to post pictures of yourself having sex, though. So maybe that’s the closest he could come to it.

    I think it’s safe to assume that if your profile picture is of you half naked, in a seductive pose, you’re probably an exhibitionist.

  6. If your profile picture is of you half naked, regardless of the pose, you are probably poor.

  7. is it just me, or did he completely miss a little
    man in the boat joke? do u assholes call the clit the boy on the boat?

  8. Nope, never heard that one… Thanks Jenny, that’s the one thing I’ve learned today / want to learn today. I’m going back to bed.

  9. STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  10. TRRRRRRRIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPINNNNNNNNNN!

  11. Ladies; if your profile picture is you, half naked, in a seductive pose, I am going to assume you want me to masturbate to it.

  12. ^careful. half these bitches are so fat, you as well masturbate to a beanbag chair.

  13. ^Except a beanbag chair costs more.

  14. no fucking way. even when you factor in environmental damage.

    Pricing

    Price: $29.95 (Includes Shipping and Handling cost to anywhere in Australia) [i]

    But I googled “lifetime supply of cheesecake, bad shoes and cheap sweet wine” and the internet couldn’t give me a cost for that.

  15. Why buy the heifer when you can get the fap for free?

  16. y’know, i nearly said ‘sammiches’, but then I remembered that I’m just not that fucking tragic.

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