Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Little Taste of Heaven

previous post: Seeing is Believing



  1. I know I should be making fun of the Pokemon heaven, but I just can’t bring myself to do it – the spelling and grammar of the posting are too clean to insult it.

  2. Steeeeeeeveeeeeeerrrrrrr

  3. At first I thought this was just a kid who was capable of typing and organizing his thoughts legibly…but that ‘never spend another night alone..’ part has me thinking this kid just REALLY needs to get laid. Also, will his soul-mate be a pokemon if they have pokemon kids…I wonder which pokemon he finds sexually appealing…ghettohoezar? blondeslutander?

  4. This kid sounds pretty solid to me.

  5. this sounds like a win to me…

  6. That’s because you guys REALLY need to get laid.

  7. Jonjones must be very insecure about the amount of sex he gets.

  8. Well that’s because I REALLY need to get laid. It’s a fair assesment that anyone (excluding imamofo) who regularly posts on lamebook needs to get laid.

  9. So people who are in long-term relationships or marriages can’t read websites or do nerdy things?

    The only fair assesment is that someone so condescending about other peoples’ sex lives, needs to get laid.

  10. People in long-term relationships or marriages fall under the REALLY need to get laid category the most. Hey-oh, best stereotypical marriage joke of the year goes to….

    Thanks for repeating what I just said also, way to contribute, lovin’ the team effort pack.

    If I were to say that you’re a prick and you take jokes on here way too seriously would you repeat that too?

  11. The answer for who it goes to was Walter sobchak by the way.

  12. Is he bullying you jonjones?? ill get my older brother after him, he has caught 135 pokemon

  13. oh good, you hear that pack? your days of judging other people’s sex lives are over! What kind of asshole would make such an assumption about something so personal anyway?

  14. your days of commenting here are over, he is going to push you so hard

  15. @13,
    I would, I would!

  16. Its not even that personal.

    well done pack you stuck your penis in a girls vagina, bet you she wasnt half as dirty as any girl on any porn site

  17. Lets all have sex at a pokemon party with Brandon and kill several birds with one stone.

  18. Only if I get to bring my thesaurus, actually did i tell ye im a lingerie model??

  19. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Jonjones #10 I was about to make that same joke, complete with the “Hey-oh!” at the end.

  20. Yeah that was the perfect set-up…too perfect. I’m beginning to think pack is a secret fan of mine just looking to give me an easy one.

  21. @11, are you referring to a specific joke, or just the whole…. package?

    I have to agree with 8, generally.

    But I don’t think it’s a long term relationship or marriage that leads to less sex. It’s the pregnancy and breastfeeding… and the little sacks of shit-emitting crymonkeys.

  22. @21
    The, I hate my wife/sexless marriage jokes area in general.

  23. I don’t make those kinds of jokes. Just my-wife-is-bitch jokes.

  24. Either this guy is the most epic troll ever, or he’s the loneliest nerd in the world.
    …My heaven would just be Tolkien’s universe, and I would just totally kick the shit out of Melkor. *cough*

    This makes me miss Dan Fargis much more than I did before.

  25. A black Charizard..?

  26. Poor, sad bastard. To show him a little sympathy, one might consider taking one for the team if one didn’t have even the most average of standards. Pokemon? Get fucking real.

  27. Jonjones’ own special heaven would be him surrounded by hundreds of dudes with boners bukkake’ing him while wearing one of those inverted lampshade like collars dogs get from the vet after surgery.

  28. Oh ya,

  29. Jesus Motherfucking Christ Almighty, guys and girls. Look what’s about to hit the northern state of Australia (the one that just had the biblical flood). Mama, this thing is going to make that look like just another rainy day in paradise.

    Cyclone Yasi…


  30. In my heaven the few people who I like are sitting down together having a meal. When they get bored I let them play video games. Or, if it’s a woman i find attractive I will take a break from my normal activity and have sex with her.

    The other 6 billion people are in a big pile, trying to break free from each other. I am floating above the pile, constantly releasing a huge torrent of cum all over them. Whenever somebody almost breaks free I adjust my aim and my splooge washes them back into the middle of the pile.

  31. lmao @ Walter Sobchak’s idea of heaven. Its more than a little disturbing though.

  32. Sounds like a nice kid apart from the Pokemon heaven thing.

  33. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier guys, I was too busy getting laid. I see you guys had enough fun with eachother though, happy for you!

  34. In my version of heaven, I get to repeatedly kill Hannity, Colmes, Ingraham and Glenn Beck. Then they come back to life, and have to fuck each other with rusty railroad spikes while I eat pavlova.

    Then we do it all over again.

    Occasionally, I pause the action to jerk off.

    If there’s not a heaven like that for me, then there clearly is no God anyway.

  35. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff


    What kind of pavlova?

  36. Raspberry. And fresh cream too, none of that superwhip BS…

    I’d accept a ‘mixed berry pavlova’ also.

  37. Wordpervert, fuck! Get to da choppa.

  38. You know what I hate? It’s people in their late teens, early twenties, who think talking about Pokémon is awesome because of the nostalgia thing, and think referencing it is hilarious and unique, because they’re hipster fucks. IT IS NOT UNIQUE. EVERYONE IS DOING IT. YOUR SHITTY FACEBOOK GROUP IS MADE NO LESS SHITTY BY THE FACT THAT IT REFERENCES POKÉMON. EVERYONE IS DOING IT. YOU ARE NOT COOL OR UNIQUE OR ORIGINAL FOR REFERENCING IT. FUCK YOU.

    Also children.

  39. Also hoping word is okay in the midst of this horrific cyclone thing.

  40. 38 & 39, Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you.

  41. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Banoffee > Raspberry

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