Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Fun While it Lasted

Fun While it Lasted

previous post: I Don’t Know About That One…



  1. Did she list herself as “in a relationship” just so she could list herself as “single” again?

    Let’s play the simile game!

    ANDY is to TOOL BAG as Michelle is to SPITEFUL BITCH

  2. Analogy game… but I agree with you! Funny.

  3. I have a feeling she was already “in a relationship,” but she’d not changed her status. Then, when the guy dumped her, she wanted the drama of changing to “single,” but she couldn’t do that until she made herself “in a relationship.”

    In any event… LAME.

  4. Analogy game it is 😛

  5. What a stupid high school “drama” bitch. Your life is over because you were dumped?

    I’m not one for suicide, but for the prissy high school girls that take their pathetic lives to facebook to parade around how shitty a person is for dumping them, they should consider it.

    If your life is so horrible that being dumped causes this, then you need to kill yourself because you have nothing. Go play in traffic.

  6. It’s whiny, pathetic b****es like her that make me ashamed to be a woman some days.

  7. “Thank God the short man dumped me” ?

    Wow. That’s really, really sad.

  8. Wait until she does a bunch of shots tonight, booty calls Andy, blows him (captured on his cameraphone), and then he tells her that she is way more fat than he is short and still doesn’t want to date her again.

    Then she’ll REALLY have something to bitch about…

  9. Nobody is commenting on how she called him a “TOOL BAG” then decided he “BELONGS IN HELL” and, after one minute, decided that he was more of a “TOOL BAG” than that he “BELONGS IN HELL” and switched back?

    Also, her relationship was 4 minute on facebook, but she said she broke up with the guy after 2 minutes of being in the relationship.

  10. Let us study for a moment here the complex social emotions that are running through Michelle’s head. She displays classic signs of what I like to term “The Attention Defecit”, a complex in which one airs their frustrations in a public arena to compensate for their lack of a support network. Incredulous by the lack of replies, the subject has taken this as negative reinforcement, continually posting updates to allow as many people as possible to gain experience to this ‘news’, maximizing the public spotlight on the subject. A truely facinating insight into the human mind. If you want to read more, buy my upcoming book: Social Networking and The Mind.

  11. Let us study for a moment here the complex social emotions that are running through Michelle’s head. She displays classic signs of what I like to term “The Cock Defecit”, a complex in which one airs their frustrations in a public arena to compensate for their lack of vaginal penetration. Incredulous by the lack of intercourse, the subject has taken this as negative reinforcement, continually exposing herself to strangers to allow as many people as possible to gain exposure to her ‘goodies’, maximizing the public spotlight on her orifice. A truely fascinating view into the human body. If you want to read more, buy my upcoming book: Vagina Power.

  12. Hmmm…can’t imagine why Andy would dump such a sweetheart.

  13. Andy equals belongs in hell?

    Maybe it would’ve made more sense to just say, “Andy belongs in hell.” No equality sign required.

  14. Yeah, “Andy = belongs in hell” doesn’t really make sense… He is belongs in hell?
    Ratcoon, she was just trying to make sure she got it right. It’s very important. Some people can’t afford to leave here, but she insists they still need to get out. My brain hurts.

  15. Hi! I’m Chairman Mao! I already told you that I am a sweaty, obese 30-year-old virgin, that I live in my mother’s basement, that I smell bad, I’m balding, and I’m missing a front tooth, and that I dropped out of high school after 10th grade. I am still smart, though (MY MOM TELLS ME SO!) because I read graphic novels and internet zines. What I DIDN’T tell you is that I have seven dildos so I can use a different one every day of the week. I LOVE to build things out of Legos.

    I also have a deformed second head growing from my neck.

    Hit me up, ladies! My number is 555-TOOL.

  16. Oh you people! She’s just upset and angry. That happens when you fall out of a relationship. Granted, she shouldn’t have vented on Facebook, but whatever.

  17. As my lengthy posts are considered unreadable to many I will attempt to keep this brief.

    Ratcoon: You have provided an intriguing insight as it pertains to the change of updates. To go from wishing somebody the greatest punishment in religion back to a container which holds a mechanic’s items should raise an eyebrow. It is possible that she felt she lacked the authority (as God would only have this power) to condemn somebody to the fiery pits of Satan. Or she felt these words were too harsh.

    Sigmund: You make a great point in regards to ADD and how Personal Marketing on the Internet has become a newly found skill that has taken up much of our mental thoughts. People start to realize that things such as status updates are transient and that to capture the maximum attention of your audience requires very clever placement of your personal announcements. You must consider time of day, traffic, amongst other statistical factors. I would be pleased to continue hearing your analysis of this modern technological phenomenon.

  18. re: the 4 min relationship…

    if she was listed on Facebook as “in a relationship with Andy **”, and Andy removed his relationship status first, then a message would come up on her profile saying that she was ‘in a relationship’ but not who with. So that’s probably what happened- they split up, and both decided to announce it on Facebook within 2 minutes of each other.
    She’s still a TOOL BAG though.

  19. I bet he dumped her because she made their relationship public on facebook. Children….

  20. sadly this kind of bullshit is becoming more and more common among my facebook friends.

    also I <3 Chairman Mao

  21. All in a day’s work.

  22. mmm alcohol

  23. Candy Blackmail

    Michelle handles anger well.

  24. Haha she’s using one social networking site to update another social networking site.

  25. this is also what happens when you don’t have a group of friends who will take you out immediately after such a breakup to get you drunk, so that you can bitch sloppily over a wet table surrounded by support. (“Yah Michelle, he’s like a TOTAL tool bag.”)

    Instead you have swelling rage, a slammed bedroom door, and an iphone with a facebook application.

    Good game, generation Z.

  26. Haha, I’m inclined to believe that #15 is the real Mao.

  27. i still love when people tell others to “stop bitching” in any context and then proceed to bitch incessantly. that will never fail to be entertaining.

  28. Not as entertaining as people bitching about people telling other people (not the original people) to stop bitching about people.

  29. Sounds like both Michelle and Jonas need a Xanax.

  30. I agree. Jonas you’re just a little bitch. You’re the one that needs to fucking play in traffic.



  33. I want to know why nobody is pointing out that the entire thing is fake. That’s not what updates look like. Why isn’t her name in blue? And her last name? Or did someone just recreate the entire thing?

  34. She must be psychotic

  35. You may be a tool, but at least you are not a tool BAG.

  36. Michelle is Andy = tool bag? In mathematical terms that would be Michelle=Andy=tool bag. Therefore, Michelle = tool bag. Also, Andy=Michelle

  37. Do I detect a hint of animosity?

  38. toolbag? what a stupid

  39. Better to be a tool bag than a harpy, spiteful bitch.

  40. Guys seem to find it real attractive when chicks are overdramatic bitches. Like no, for the next two days I’m going to make sure facebook knows how much of a tool Andy is. Starting now.

  41. I think she’s taking it well.

  42. Ok. If this Andy person belongs in Hell and is such “tool bag”, whatever that happens to be, then why the hell did HE dump HER? If he is so terrible and she is oh so relieved to be rid of him why didn’t she break up with him? Screaming “Thank God he dumped me” via FB really just proves you are a lame twat waffle.

    Michelle, you’re second status post couldn’t be more true. There are a lot of pathetic people in the world and you, my dear, are one of them.

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