Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happilee Married


previous post: Daddy’s Girl 2



  1. Lee’s response is totally justified. I’m married and if one of her ex-boyfriends started writing long letters to my wife, I would take it for what it is, disrespect. Lee shouldn’t have to tolerate it. Of course he’s going to respond with a veiled threat of violence. If some guy grabs my wife’s ass, he’s going to get punched. It’s disrespectful to her and to me and to our marriage. Well done Lee. Not only did you call into the open the truth of Andy’s pathetic message, you managed to threaten violence without being lame. There are times when being possessive of your significant other is perfectly okay, and this is one of those times.

  2. Justin (#251) – now that’s what I call a voice of reason!

    *raising my glass*

  3. tl;dr

    Although if this happened to me, my husband wouldn’t threaten an ex like that (not saying that this guy was wrong in doing so). He would just post something like “LMAO!!!” Because he’s a smartass.

  4. Anyone who thinks that Andy has been treated unfairly should take a look at themselves and their motivations for thinking so. If your motivations are that you can see yourself in Andy’s shoes, trying pitifully to weasel your way back into an ex’s pants and destroying her marriage, do humanity a favor and kill yourself now, or at least cut your balls off so that you don’t reproduce. The world needs fewer losers.

  5. Holy shit, what an epic retard. Worst written letter ever.

  6. @242

    “When men act like this, they are chasing pussy, pure and simple.”

    Yes all men are clones of each other and you are their all knowing translator. Thanks.

    “This guy wants to try and break a MARRIAGE up. A MARRIAGE. Not a three month relationship, not a six month relationship, not even a serious relationship of a 2+ years, but a fuckin marriage. Absolute 100% scumbag.”

    That’s a leap and who the fuck cares. So someone signed a legal document, it doesn’t mean that relationship is any more important than any other. I hate this marriage-is-sacred crap. (And I’ve been happily married for over 10 years. The stupid marriage license didn’t and doesn’t change anything and it never will. All it means is that I get treated better than gays by the government.)

    So, Matt, in your opinion a male can NEVER apologize and want to make amends with any female? They are always trying to get laid. Your opinion of not only men, but women is troubling.

  7. “I’m married and if one of her ex-boyfriends started writing long letters to my wife, I would take it for what it is, disrespect.”

    You are an ape. An insecure ape. Sorry, but you are.

    “There are times when being possessive of your significant other is perfectly okay, and this is one of those times.”

    That is NEVER ok.

    YOU ARE AN APE. (Figuratively speaking of course, evolutionarily speaking we are all apes.)

  8. “…they’d have let the husbands handle it by themselves, wouldn’t they? Ha. Ha. Ha.”

    It’s happened and yes. I am not the owner of my husband. He can handle it himself.

  9. The Reeeeeal 27 year old Carla

    “That’s a leap and who the fuck cares.” Yeah Penny Lane, who does care? Apparently, you do… very much. You should drop this personal crusade. You look pretty ridiculous at this point. I know you feel some empathy for Andy’s position because you have admittedly written similar letters. Why was that again? Oh yeah, you were a self-proclaimed bitch. Well Penny, I wouldn’t so much call you a bitch as I would a pathetic, bored woman who’s married to a pussy.

    Have a nice life and shut the hell up. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

    p.s. If only your husband was an ape…you might actually get fucked from time to time.

  10. Haha, hmm well actually, is it really true he was trying to get back into ur pants?

    might have been nice if u just said, sorry i do decline but thenk you for apologising, or did he really hurt u that bad?

    if so ur justified in doing so i guess

  11. Roses have thorns

    @ Penny Lane – you lost whatever integrity you had when you called another person an ape for simply stating his point of view. I’d suggest a different approach if you want to convince anybody of the merits of your own point of view.

    And Penny, you may be right that Andy’s intentions were pure and all. But there’s a helluva good chance that you’re not right. Just because your experience tells you that apologies are always sincere, doesn’t mean others have the same lucky experiences as you.

    @ Jazz – good point but there are ‘some’ men who’d see any acceptance of an apology as further encouragement. It’s best not to take any chances, and I suspect Carla had enough experience of this Andy to not give him any chance whatsoever to get back in her life again.

  12. “You should drop this personal crusade.”

    Wow…just having a fun and lively discussion I thought. Not a crusader! lol

    “you lost whatever integrity you had when you called another person an ape for simply stating his point of view.”

    No, I didn’t call him an ape for stating his point of view, I called him an ape for acting like it is ever ok to be possessive of another human being. BTW, what I said is pretty tame compared to much of what goes on around here. LOL! BTW, this is just fun…calm down now…deep breaths.

  13. thesaurus much?

  14. Demitri the Lover strikes again.

  15. I feel terrible commenting on this, so long after the fact, but at 19, am still young enough to feel offended by a lot of the stuff said here. Especially given the awesomeness of the couples response.

    To people who feel that the apology is genuine, I disagree:
    “bitten and suffocated by the serpentine spirit of my on demise”- for one, I don’t know how you could ever side with somebody so effing terrible at writing. But major evidence of it not being an apology- he’s not actually taking responsibility for any wrong doing, he’s too busy painting himself as “vulnerable,” plagued by regrets, being “very depressed”. He’s trying to make himself less culpable for his actions by blaming all these weaknesses out of his control. You’ve gotta man up to the fact that less of the letter is an apology for his effect on her, and more an apology for himself, and it reeks of narcissism.

    Oh screw talking about it, Lee and Carla are timeless heroes of the lamebook. They stomped on what should be criminal use of facebook- getting on it, just to forgive how much of an asshole you’ve been in the eyes of people who have much better things to do.

    At best, he’s a narcissist for thinking people should be want to hear from a blotch on their ancient history, at worst he’s a sexual parasite who uses peoples pity for him as a mechanism for insinuating relationships. Either way, he’s a human stain, and I would be friends with Lee and Carla on fb any day.

  16. First of all: I didn’t read the comments. If mine overlap, I apologize.

    Yes, Andrew is lame. He’s whiny and melodramatic and trying to “re-connect” with a married woman.

    However, the people who posted this here on Lamebook are self-important twats. What does a random apology from a lame ex have to do with anything? If he’s really as irrelevant as the woman claims, why post this? Random, lame apologies from exes aren’t a symptom of Facebook in particular… no one cares that your wife’s ex boyfriend is actually desperate enough to go for your wife.

  17. Anastasia from Russia

    @ Brendon C

    Well said. And if you’re indeed 19 y.o., then you’re an awesome 19. When I was as young as that, I’d probably have believed “self-writhe” was a real word.

  18. Hours of the post don’t match: The husband answered before Carla…

  19. It looks like the husband answered first because the husband was writing a message, not a response to a wall post. Look at the postings. The original one doesn’t say “Between [HIM] and You”, which indicates it’s a wall post. However, the husband’s post DOES say “Between [HIM] and You”, indicating it is a wall post.

  20. Ooops, make that “indicating it’s a message”, not “wall post”.

  21. […] November 2009 BOTM Candidate #2 was submitted by Ross W. Have you ever wondered what happens when an inborn beta becomes a little too aggressively creepy in his pursuit of a taken woman? Well now, thanks to Lamebook, you can read a stellar example of just such a specimen. […]

  22. HOLY SHIT!!! That part about “I’ll meet you for coffee sometime” made me realize how hilarious this entire thing is. I figured the husband would say something like “I’m gonna kick your ass” or some shit, but he actually worked his threat into the lame ass letter lol.

  23. Just throwing this out there: Penny Lane does NOT speak for all women. Certainly not for me. If I was Carla, I would have felt disrespected, so I certainly wouldn’t blame my husband if he did too! (So no, Matt, I don’t think you’re an “ape” for feeling disrespected when you have every right to).

    I’ve gotten douchey letters like this (though thankfully none as verbose), and no, I was not sympathetic. “Awww, poor dear, just wants to apologize to me, wish me luck in my current relationship….and ask me out.” Riiiiight.

    I would be more likely to believe that Andy was truly sorry if:

    1. he had given her the respect of referring to her as MARRIED. Maybe I didn’t read enough of these comments, but I can’t believe no one mentioned the fact that he referred to her as “engaged” instead of “married”. Unless she just happened to be having her wedding at the exact time he was writing this thesis paper, that sounds deliberate, and really rude. Oh, but I’m sure it was *just* an oversight. Because a creep like Andy who spends pages upon pages describing how “cunningly innocent but with a dark side” she is didn’t once give her profile a quick glance. Sure.

    2. he wouldn’t have ASKED HER OUT ON A DATE.

    I personally thought Lee’s response was funny, and completely NOT uncalled for. If I was Carla, I would have shown my husband. Not because I’m a “damsel in distress”, but because it would have irritated me, but I still would have been amused by how pathetic it is and would have wanted to have someone to share a laugh with. And if my boyfriend had responded like Lee, I would have laughed even harder. Sorry, but for those of you who think Carla should have “responded nicely”…you’ve obviously never dealt with people like Andy. Being nice – even if you’re blowing them off – comes off as some invitation to keep bothering you.

    Well, now that this comment has become about as long as Andy’s letter, I’ll end it with this: “Team Carla & Lee! (and Matt)”

  24. I love that after that endless bull shit from Andy, Carla responded with ONE sentence, making it very clear that she doesn’t give a shit about him and kindly reminding him of her marriage.
    As for Lee, though I could go on and on about how he had every right to say what he said, I’d just like to say one thing: WIN.

  25. Actually, she responded with two, not one.

  26. @mantherz #273

    I agree with your entire post. I feel the same way (I’m a married woman).

    That is all. =)

  27. “It takes God a long time to get us out of the way of thinking that unless everyone sees as we do, they must be wrong. That is never God’s view. There is only one liberty, the liberty of Jesus at work in our conscience enabling us to do what is right….Jesus said, ‘Go and make disciples,’ not ‘make converts to your opinions.'” -Oswald Chambers

  28. Funny

  29. Why can’t we all just agree that all three people involved are dipshits?

    Andrew, while manipulative and arrogant, also seems genuinely depressed — not that it helps his self-righteous cause. Yes, in a way his apology could be seen as sincere, but only in the sense that he sincerely wants to fuck Carla. Were his response shorter and not so melodramatic, I would have felt bad for the guy. Instead, he’s just a pretentious asshat. Final grade: PRETENTIOUS.

    Lee, while reacting in a somewhat understandable manner, went about it the wrong way (I’m not saying I would have reacted perfectly, but I think I would have tried to sound a little calmer and less threatening/tough, since I’m neither threatening nor tough), and his defensive attitude in the thread has dug him deeper. FINAL GRADE: INSECURE.

    Carla, who delivered a beautiful smackdown to Andrew’s attempt to get into her pants, cannot type for shit and comes off as nothing but an asshole (in the thread, I mean, although I’m not entirely convinced it’s her). Her ad hominem attacks against people in the thread make her seem like an immature redneck. FINAL GRADE: STUPID.

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