Cap’n Jesus is lame. Unless he’s the real Jesus. Hmmm, nah, I’m sure the real Jesus would be a General or something.
The second post is pretty funny. It looks like they have a friendly, open, and funny family that they are lucky to be a part of. And I’m 100% sure that they’ve at least done a little finger-fun at some point in their cousinly lives.
The fact that I get it on with my cousins to relieve the pain of the shitty day is why my children are all missing an arm and have extra toes. Leading me to feel more shit, and therefore more cousin comfort. It’s a destructive cycle.
Cap’n Jesus would be keelhauled and flogged if he carried on like this on a real pirate ship. Perhaps he should drop the pirate language, STOP SHOUTING, and go back to masturbating rather than waiting desperately for his unrequited status-update of love to be reciprocated.
I also found his photo quite disturbing, but I’m not sure why.
2nd post – I wonder if the family name isn’t Walker? Because this would then make this vaguely funny, not disquieting.
“Howdy folks. Im a purebred redneck (6 generations of inbreeding going strong) that looooves facebook. My name is Jonny and i loves to get it on with ma cousin Lauren. Now ive mad emy post on fb, im off to plow bessie before lauren comes over”.
I wonder if Cap’t Jesus is the kind of guy that thinks he is bigger than Fabio, but in reality he’s just a loser and no-one can bear to tell him the truth – that or they don’t want to so they can keep laughing at him behind his back?
wha? cousin love? oh yeah
I kinda like Cap’n Jesus. He’s like Cap’n Crunch, but awesomer.
Cap’n Jesus is lame. Unless he’s the real Jesus. Hmmm, nah, I’m sure the real Jesus would be a General or something.
The second post is pretty funny. It looks like they have a friendly, open, and funny family that they are lucky to be a part of. And I’m 100% sure that they’ve at least done a little finger-fun at some point in their cousinly lives.
Cousin lovin’…creepy!
Cap’n Jesus sounds like a Major Douche!
Meh I see posts like the second one daily. Why was this submitted/accepted..?
Nately, that’s because you have laaaame friends.
The fact that I get it on with my cousins to relieve the pain of the shitty day is why my children are all missing an arm and have extra toes. Leading me to feel more shit, and therefore more cousin comfort. It’s a destructive cycle.
Cap’n Jesus would be keelhauled and flogged if he carried on like this on a real pirate ship. Perhaps he should drop the pirate language, STOP SHOUTING, and go back to masturbating rather than waiting desperately for his unrequited status-update of love to be reciprocated.
I also found his photo quite disturbing, but I’m not sure why.
2nd post – I wonder if the family name isn’t Walker? Because this would then make this vaguely funny, not disquieting.
I’ll bet Cap’n Jesus has had a fair “dose of Jonny” in his time. Not as yet from the gang of rabid syphilitic baboons he deserves it from though.
@Jelly – yeah, but those kids o’ yores can sure play some mean banjo!
Jesus in his holyness demands hot chicks!! You must provide for him… Ha! Reminds me of the 71 virgins or whatever…
Hey! I just love getting it on with my cousins too! I wish we were related 😉
White girls with bootys……but ONLY white girls with bootys.
“Howdy folks. Im a purebred redneck (6 generations of inbreeding going strong) that looooves facebook. My name is Jonny and i loves to get it on with ma cousin Lauren. Now ive mad emy post on fb, im off to plow bessie before lauren comes over”.
I >3 Cap’n Jesus.
I like Jonathan’s resilience. No way he’s going to let a refusal from his sexy cousin get him down.
Nately, are you by any chance from Kentucky? Just curious.
I love that along with Super Models and Divas, Cap’n Jesus will settle with hood rats when those divas don’t come a messagin’.
I wonder if Cap’t Jesus is the kind of guy that thinks he is bigger than Fabio, but in reality he’s just a loser and no-one can bear to tell him the truth – that or they don’t want to so they can keep laughing at him behind his back?
I love that Cap’n Jesus is… well, Cap’n Jesus.
Thank you Cap’n for saving us or whatever he did and clouding 2000 years of thinking
Finn, please show us the way out of the dense fog caused by Cap’n Jesus 2000 years ago.
“You are the only hope for our world”
Despite Jesus professing his love for every woman on the planet, his profile picture makes him look like a full-on, proper gayer.
Cap’n Jesus is not a pussy discriminator.
God bless him.
‘Inspiring’ models? Ricans? Tenderonis?
It’s because the user who sent the picture has their FB language set to “Pirate English”
@Anitalaff-I concur!
Unless of course he’s gay..Which changes things greatly.
Darker Asians? Is that code for Indians?
“Tenderonis”?? Wow, I didn’t know Bobby Brown used Facebook.
” NO really, me and Cousin Billybob got in on last weekend while Dad and Maw were out shoppin’ Tylenol PM ” – Lauren
And next thing Lauren will be posing with a only a bass guitar and arm warmers…
*and a bump*
i think ur cousin wants you
If kissing cousins go beyond kissing, do you call them hugging cousins?
pirate facebook ftw.
more like Cap’n Save a Ho
White girls don’t have natural big bootys, though. That’ll be hard to find unless they’re HUGE! 😐
@ #35 Caramel_Princess Some of us do. And I am far from huge. 😀
Why the hell would Cap’n Jesus want a hood rat? Hood rats are gross. Also, he has an awesome name.