#2 Shay should realize that in God’s eyes, masturbation is every bit the sin as cheating on your spouse or sleeping with a prostitute (or member of the same sex).
Corinthians 6:16
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
Instead of of sinning and spilling his seed, Shay should pray for the strength to overcome his sexual urges. Specifically, he should look at Romans 6:11-14:
“…Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master for you are not under law but under grace….”
Something tells me that Shay is the victim of the liberal Hollywood media filling his mind with thoughts of lewd and prurient acts and glorifying sexual impurity. That or maybe he goes to one of the schools with President Obama’s new sex ed classes where they teach 1st graders how to use condoms and how homosexuals have anal intercourse.
The herpes one vaguely reminds me of the Seinfeld episode about “the tractor story,” wherein a girl, as dumb as the subject of William’s status update, believes she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her swimsuit. Because her boyfriend told her so.
mr fargis….when you say ”offer yourself to god” does that imply against what you are preaching… or does sexual acts with any god not a sin?
If god created the earth all living creatures, does that mean we are his kin,his children…if so then we are his offspring and nowhere in the bible says god had a wife!
So in my view gods masturbation skills created life…
What’s up guys. Registered to ask a question. Are you guys having issues getting to page 2, or am I just retarded? It keeps taking me back to like July 21st….
Ah, the “if you shake it more than twice, you’re playing with it” rule. Unless that’s in the bible somewhere, I’m guessing Fargy is unfamiliar with it. Feel free to repent now Danny Boy.
Comments, I fear he may be missing out. I don’t have that appendage, but if I could trade places for a day with a guy, I think I’d rather enjoy myself.
_isglory, I saw that episode quite a few times when I was a kid and NEVER got what the joke was supposed to be, only within the past few years did it all come together.
Have you played some of the wii games they have out now? A few of them involve the jerking motion already. I think one is like Wario’s gold grab? Or something.. you have to shake your wii stick to get the gold out of the bag.
Actually, in some myths of creation Gods did masturbate to create life. Can’t be entirely 100% sure but I believe it was an African myth (I read this about 8 or 9 years ago in an anthology that I borrowed from my Catholic school library).
Mario Galaxy on the Wii already had a mini game where you jerk and then colored splooge come out for the winner…I kicked my guy friends asses at that game.
first….
Fresh out da coonie.
William, I would stop going to that bar if I were you.
The Wii whacking game was done on an uncharacteristically funny skit from SNL, featuring Alec Baldwin. Soooooo…yeah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMmPUw62w5E
that bar sounds quite familiar…. indecent people,std’s,very gullible women… you sure it was a bar not a brothel!!
#2 Shay should realize that in God’s eyes, masturbation is every bit the sin as cheating on your spouse or sleeping with a prostitute (or member of the same sex).
Corinthians 6:16
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
Instead of of sinning and spilling his seed, Shay should pray for the strength to overcome his sexual urges. Specifically, he should look at Romans 6:11-14:
“…Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master for you are not under law but under grace….”
Something tells me that Shay is the victim of the liberal Hollywood media filling his mind with thoughts of lewd and prurient acts and glorifying sexual impurity. That or maybe he goes to one of the schools with President Obama’s new sex ed classes where they teach 1st graders how to use condoms and how homosexuals have anal intercourse.
Mr. Fargis knows an awful lot about anal intercourse with first graders. Ah, well.
Oh wow, you can play that game on Facebook? Awesome!
I mean… me and the farg wouldn’t approve of that. Nor the unoriginal jacking off Wii game.
The smallpox thing is just genius though. In a ‘I don’t know those people’ kind of way.
So, I think I get it. Jacking off spreads small pox to your coonie?
The herpes one vaguely reminds me of the Seinfeld episode about “the tractor story,” wherein a girl, as dumb as the subject of William’s status update, believes she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her swimsuit. Because her boyfriend told her so.
I said vaguely…
mr fargis….when you say ”offer yourself to god” does that imply against what you are preaching… or does sexual acts with any god not a sin?
If god created the earth all living creatures, does that mean we are his kin,his children…if so then we are his offspring and nowhere in the bible says god had a wife!
So in my view gods masturbation skills created life…
The Pacific Ocean is actually one of God’s giant loads.
That’s why they call it semen.
It’s in the Bible.
I’m curious to know what other websites fargis visits to spew his word to people who really don’t give a shit.
Yay masturbation!
Boo herpes!
fargis, so you’ve never once, even by accidentally over shaking, touched your naughty spot?!
“Wii Wacker” could have a 2 player bonus level, the double dutch rudder!
YAY first post on lamebook. Am I as lame as everyone else now?
She deserved the herp if she fell for that.
And fargis, lock yourself in a closet. Don’t preech.
Does it occur to no one else that within the Bible itself there’s an argument against everything dan_fargis says?
I mean I have neither the time or patience to be that guy but it’s just a thought…
What’s up guys. Registered to ask a question. Are you guys having issues getting to page 2, or am I just retarded? It keeps taking me back to like July 21st….
@EE
Ah, the “if you shake it more than twice, you’re playing with it” rule. Unless that’s in the bible somewhere, I’m guessing Fargy is unfamiliar with it. Feel free to repent now Danny Boy.
Comments, I fear he may be missing out. I don’t have that appendage, but if I could trade places for a day with a guy, I think I’d rather enjoy myself.
_isglory, I saw that episode quite a few times when I was a kid and NEVER got what the joke was supposed to be, only within the past few years did it all come together.
ee, I agree. I’d love to experience sex and self-abuse as a man – with the real thing, that is. My strap-on doesn’t really count.
Yeah word, it’s just not the same!
Have you guys ever done a google search on Dan Fargis? The only hit I get is a Facebook for some chubby young dude.
Ruben’s post is extra lame, he stole it from Dane Cook… And it was a poor paraphrase, at that.
@Mama_Corn
wasn’t it tho!
Have you played some of the wii games they have out now? A few of them involve the jerking motion already. I think one is like Wario’s gold grab? Or something.. you have to shake your wii stick to get the gold out of the bag.
lol so outside of becoming a huge troll feeding ground, what else is new, lamebook.
you guys are so bad at the internet, i’m surprised i’m not reading about you in the above blog posts.
The baby might be fresh–but I seriously doubt the “coonie” is.
@eepah
It simply cannot be. For:
Philippians 3:19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.
The only good one here is the one about Wii Whackin’. Better yet, why not give yourself a real hand job?
Dear Shay, can we be friends?
@ Casshern
Actually, in some myths of creation Gods did masturbate to create life. Can’t be entirely 100% sure but I believe it was an African myth (I read this about 8 or 9 years ago in an anthology that I borrowed from my Catholic school library).
Mario Galaxy on the Wii already had a mini game where you jerk and then colored splooge come out for the winner…I kicked my guy friends asses at that game.
Shay actually has a nice idea. I mean, the “circle jerk” part.
fresh out da coonie,pahahahahahahaha,classy
A few years ago when Dirty Sanchez was all the rage, a friend and I came up with the Bazooka Joe.
Rebecca was the victim of a Bazooka Joe.