Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Modern Families

previous post: Oil Derek



  1. Ben and Jordans family scares me

  2. The first picture reminds me of a time I went to a baseball game. They had kids in these little hot dog outfits and were jerking them back and forth to simulate running. One of the kids looked like he was being choked. Everyone else around him was laughing and having a great time and he was slowly dying.

  3. @MsBuzzKill

    We’re all slowly dying.

  4. The last one’s true. Speaking from experience.

  5. The first one is fine. At least she didn’t caption the photo as “I’m glad they make lemon pacifiers now, as Billy’s auto-erotic asphyxiation has become a lot more frequent.”

    The second one reminds me of my family. My mom would laugh if I told her that I’m glad her vagina spit me out years ago.

  6. There is something seriously wrong with Ben and Jordan.

    The last pic is something that’s happening more and more nowadays. I’ve seen it a lot myself.

  7. Heather: Mother, photographer, and spotter.

  8. I don’t get what’s lame about Jordan’s entry… I found it quite disturbing and just weird. Oh, wont that thing strangle the poor baby if u hung him/her long enough? SMH @ some ‘parents’

  9. @SouthAfricanBoi

    You’re assuming that’s not the mother’s plan?

    What’s wrong with Jordan’s comments? That he assumes his mother doesn’t trim her vagina? That he wants to thank her for giving birth to him? That he jokingly says “tell your vagina wassup for me”, since he hasn’t “said hello” since that day he fell out of her?

    More families should be like Jordan’s. I bet his mom replies with “Hey Jordan, my yatch says ‘hey’ and wanted to know if your head was still painfully large.”

  10. Jordan’s Mom: My vagina can’t talk right now, as she has a bloody lip and refuses to say who she got in a fight with. It seems like this happens once a month with her!

  11. I have a bad feeling about the future.

  12. The first one makes me rage super hard. Are you fucking kidding me?

  13. ok, i’m gonna be honest, i see nothing wrong here, it’s not like kids are pristine faberge eggs, they NEED video games, #2 is funny, and that hanged kid will heal

  14. That last one is f*cked up too. Yeah, that child is going to be OK when some pedophile takes her while you are off spending money on things you don’t need. What a bunch of freakin morons.

  15. krasivaya_devushka

    Aww that baby is cute in the first picture, but wtf@ his mom? Why would you do that?

  16. It’s not like the parents are rushing off to other aisles… electronic sections are usually small and built in such a way to allow people to see all around them. If a kidnapper is able to get that child away in that much of an open area, then he deserves the victory for such an effort!

  17. usually i hate parents that are all “no you can’t use this chair in this busy cafe even though my child is running around playing with the other chubby tots because IF he comes back and needs somewhere to rest, it can’t be on my lap, he’s a person too and needs his own space. did you check him out on his wooden bicycle? look at how cute/independent/brainy he is!” but this makes me love some parents. this makes me want to have kids.

  18. I would like to spend a week with Jordan’s family. They seem like very interesting people.

  19. For some reason I don’t think in the last picture they’re actually leaving their kid there. I figured they were just taking a cute little picture of their toddler, and then carried on wheeling her round on the trolley.

    First: WTF?

    I laughed at the second.

  20. The first one was hilarious. Some people on here really over react. What do you think? That she just left him hanging there all day? Jeez, take a joke why don’t you? The two seconds she hung him up there to snap a picture obviously isn’t going to kill him.
    And ditto for the third one. You can’t spend your whole life worrying about some creepy pedophile that probably isn’t even in the store. Get a grip. My mom used to let us hang out in the toy section while she did her grocery shopping all of the time. It was lots of fun and nothing ever happened to us in such a public place.
    The second one on the other hand is just crude. How disrespectful toward your parents. The kid has no class.

  21. I agree with slippyslappy re pic 1. Storm in a teacup.

    I also think Jordan’s family is a hoot. I wish more families could joke around about stuff like that.

  22. Thanks Word. I get pretty tired of the outrage some people express on here about the littlest things.

  23. I didn’t really look at the last one before now, and yeah, whatever to that one as well. The kid looks mesmerised. That’s how I am when watching good porn.

  24. Ahhh. Bless!

    Showing my age but #3 reminds me of when Duke Nukem 3D came out.

    Mum: why does Sweetie look like the child in the cellar from Night of the Living Dead?
    Me: ‘cos she spent the last three hours playing Duke Nukem on my laptop in the back seat whilst I fucken’ drove here
    Sweetie: Hail to the King, baby! I’m gonna blow you a new hole. What are you waiting for? Christmas? That’s gonna hurt!

  25. lol @ BNorty

    i think my first sexual experience was playing duke nukem at my friends’ house. no, we didn’t mash each other’s keyboards – there was a level where you could go into a room that had a woman at a computer desk with her tits inexplicably on show, in all their pixellated, 16-bit (or whatever it was) glory.

    happy days.


  26. word, you have a shopping cart to sit in when you watch porn? Sweet.

  27. Nvm jordans family, mccowles would be a riot. Makes me imagine what everyone elses would be like? Me, I am a slave labourer who has to earn the peas on my plate. If you move this boulder, you can have a drum stick! Yes mom…

    The first pic on the other hand is a perfect way to deal with children. Just hang them up until you are ready to send them to school and have someone else deal with them. As for the last one, why didn’t I ever get that option?

  28. Assassins Creed 2. Good choice of game from that kid in the last picture, the kid has great taste.

  29. I am almost positive that’s not Assassin’s Creed 2 – I believe it is actually Arkham Asylum.


    See the way the cape falls back over the shoulder and the black of the bat symbol comes up high towards the shoulder – you can kind of see it in the shopping cart picture. Also, the mouth cutout is the same shape in both pictures.

  30. The last one is pretty much me from 1977-1988. I NEVER stayed with my folks while they shopped…it was always toys to video games. Didn’t matter if we were in one store, or in the mall. We had a set time and where to meet, and that was that. People are too afraid of the “stranger danger” these days…

  31. I’m going to repeat a bunch of other people and say that the last one isn’t that bad. When I was a kid I did that. I used to beg my parents to let me hang out in the toy aisles and play the game demos while they shopped. It’s certainly more entertaining than just following them through a store staring at clothes and cleaning products.

    Either way, that post even says that her mother was staying in the electronics section (which in most stores I’ve seen is either an open area, or only spans two or three aisles) so it’s not that big of a deal.

  32. Someone please report Heather to the child protection services. Who cares if it was a joke? YOU DONT JOKE WITH YOUR KIDS LIFE.

  33. I loved that first one. Some people are far too uptight.

  34. lol @mass

  35. mass, don’t knock it until you try it.

  36. Actually, my dear mass, I knew someone would jump on that comment. I’m glad it was you that jumped on me.

  37. When I was a kid the world was perfect! Our society didn’t have violence or drugs or pedos! Nowadays with that internets and the pot, you can’t be taking funny pictures of your kids! They might die! You also can’t be more than 3 feet away from your child at any moment! Every single person in a public area is a pedophile!


  38. rebarbativebecc

    The last one isn’t toooo bad, I did that when I was little or sit in those little lounge rooms with the movies on with no staff supervisors. Maybe not quite that young though but she could be older than she looks.

  39. Heather, there are faster (and cheaper) ways to kill your kid than by hanging.

    Jordan’s whatever. I dunno if it’s funny or creepy. Personally, I don’t send my mom’s vag messages.

    That kid isn’t old enough to be left alone in a store in a shopping cart to play a video game.

    What awesome parenting skillz!

  40. I know the guy that took the last picture – that’s actually in the Gaming department of a Micro Center store. 😀 And yes, this is what people do at Micro Center. I’ve seen that little girl many a time.

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