Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Mortifying Mothers

previous post: Spellcheck & Mate!



  1. martha is my hero

  2. Becca’s trying a little too hard to be the “cool mom.”

    Martha, on the other hand, delivers succinct and swift ownage. Martha FTW.

  3. Jessica is awesome, flexible, and now the most popular girl with the guys at school…

  4. How loud is Eddie when he punches the clown? Jeez..

  5. You so deserved that Jessica!

    best part of this: “I was raised by a man who was very opned about sex… I love my daddy…”

  6. Too long, and I don’t think I want to read that long speech by Becca.

  7. hey, better than her being an uptight bitch about it…

  8. I think the strangest part is that Jessica asked her mom for a porno. It’s one thing to ask your parents about condoms, birth control, etc. But porno? Eugh.

  9. These have got to be made for imamofo’s benefit.

  10. self submitters suck asrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  11. @ jonjones. agreed! I can’t wait until imamofo weighs in on these. It will be rude, crude and socially unacceptable, I hope!

  12. *opened

    …and agreed Dasher. Who, in fucks name, borrows porn from their mom?! This family and the boyfriend should all hang themselves

  13. Omg I am shocked.

  14. I’d like to shove Becca’s flavoured “smorsgasborg of safety” right down her idiot throat, then watch her choke on the lot.

  15. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Becca sounds like she can handle that smorgasbord going down her throat.

    But seriously her fucking outburst is like when you get in bed with a girl and tickle her clit and she just fucking bursts in your face, like an unexpected safety-first orgasm.

  16. Dukey, I have no idea what you mean by an “unexpected safety-first orgasm”, but I’d like to find out…

  17. Hmm so if you want a porn movie who do you ask? Oh mum of course!

  18. Awww I love you too Becca, it’s that secret, ‘Tell anybody else and I’ll hurt them too’ type of love.

    The last time my mum cleaned my downstairs area, I rinsed her upstairs area in return…. (I came on her face)

    Eddie must be a bit like me… when I lob a cum grenade I often bellow like an Elephant having a breach birth too.

    Crude, Socially Unacceptable and Rude, in that order.. how’s that laugh.out.loud?

  19. I must have spent to much time around you, mofo, when I didn’t even lift a brow at the cum in your mom’s face one.
    So much for “socially unacceptable”.

  20. wandr It’s because I’ve been pulling the old ‘blathering my mum in baby filth’ routine for so long now, Familiarity breeds contempt so they say…hence why I fucking hate my mum.. I digress.

    I will try harder in future to vary my shtick, not sure you fit into ‘normal’ society though which is why you may find this acceptable?…. let’s open this up to the floor… Is it socially acceptable for me to talk about dousing my mum in fuck piss?

  21. Seriously, don’t stop. I get off on your shit.
    I didn’t have as much luck with my daddy as you do with your mom. I thought he was really into when he started calling me dirty names and slapping me around a bit, but the insensitive jerk stopped before I came.
    So I get to live it vicariously through you.

  22. into it*
    I was getting excited at the memory and forgot to proofread.

  23. I was spoilt by both my Mummy and Daddy… in fact they absolutely fucking ruined me.

  24. Don’t say stuff like that. There’s nothing wrong with you.

    Oh, and reading back, forgive me for leaning towards being Wallace, but I got the feeling it’s not the girl that wanted to borrow porn from her mom, but the girl’s boyfriend.
    I say she’s a cougar.

    That’s what I’ll be when I grow up. Cougars FTW!

  25. i would just like to say, as jessica…there is was a lot more to this conversation. but wadnr was dead on. i was not the one that was asking my mother for porn. or the one even talking about it. i posted this as a joke and my mortifying mother made it out to be much more embarrassing than originally planned. and when a friend posted the link to this on my facebook and i saw it on here and read the comments, it just made it that much better. thanks guys.

  26. jessica Are you afraid to talk about sex as your mother suggests? Do you like to touch yourself? Have you ever put something in your bum? Is it socially acceptable for me to talk about dousing my mum in fuck piss?

  27. ha.
    good one…

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