Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Overzealous Marcelus

previous post: Couple Crazies



  1. Why, dear Baby Jesus, are these people reproducing?

  2. II really wouldn’t want Marcelus’ grandmother to beat me up.

  3. Also, what’s a “dead bead sperm donor”? II think that sounds fancy.

  4. i think that what happened is marcelus, or his brother, used to date janice, and they went on family feud, and just as they were about to take the big cash prize home, marcelus/his brother, got a really simple question wrong, like, what would you most likely find in a movie theatre, and the answer was dust or popcorn or people, and marcelus/his brother said peewee herman (or something like that), and they were going to buy a yacht with that money.

    marcelus’ pride is obviously wounded. i think the grandmother was probably the team captain. i hope they got a free mug for taking part with ‘family feud’ on it. i think when ellen says ‘lozzers’ she means ‘losers’ and is referring to team marcelus’ family, and if the kiddy is going to be a ‘wiener’ it needs to grow up around other ‘wieners’* ie not marcelus’ family.

    i think this is probably what happened.

    *probably how ellen would spell ‘winners’

  5. Someone needs to translate Marcelus into English.

  6. Oh alord I just realised what your picture reminds me of: Gordito from ‘The Adventures of Dr. McNinja’. 😛

  7. In case anyone’s wondering what Marcelus looks like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNT5zvd3g2M

  8. It’s ok junebug, I speak idiot.

    Marcelus to Janice:

    I am sure that you aren’t talking about me because I am not the person you want to say bad things about. I am not concerned with the fact that you are with child and will still physically abuse you. If you were to have a conversation with my grandmother she would tell you that it isn’t in your best interest to anger me. This is true. You should stop saying negative things about me or unfortunate things may happen to you.

    Marcelus to Ellen:

    Janice, your propensity for saying negative things about me may get someone else in trouble and that someone may get hurt. Please keep these comments to yourself for everyone’s safety. As you well know, once you pop, you just can’t stop….at two! (sorry, it reminded me of Lays….)

  9. please no one pick on me for admitting I speak idiot *blush*

  10. I won’t pick on you for speaking idiot sharkbait because i was unable to decipher the code of Marcelus.

    For the record I am a firm believer in licensing to breed. Help control north america’s idiot population, have your dumb ass friends spayed or neutered!

  11. Gracias SharkBait 🙂

  12. podľa môjho názoru, príliš defenzívne a / alebo konfrontačnej ľudia majú jednu z troch problémov: oni majú veľmi málo sebavedomia a používať silné slová, aby sa na to, že hľadajú pomoc, alebo majú hyperaktívneho hypofýzy.

  13. Let me guess, these fuckers are on welfare and voter rolls.

    And is it just me or is it only females who spout off with that “karma” bullshit?

  14. Ugh. Euthanize these people already.

  15. Wow. Marcellus’ writing is quite incomprehensible. Except he ought to be careful, a lot of what he wrote appears to be a threat and if she tried to take legal action against him, this could easily come back to bite him in the ass.

  16. And yet, she chose to breed us a fetus with him.
    Oh, the humanity…

  17. Um. What’s a dead bead and a lozzer? Is she speaking english?

  18. lol this Marcellus dude is not playin hes straight up ready to slap and/or smack a bitch

  19. Translation of entire post:

    Janice: I love how fake people are, and that they lie to protect their deadbeat family members. Thats okay though. Karma is an unkind mistress and that aformentioned familly member will certainly get his comeuppance. It’s going to be a long night. Hopefully the child inside of my body will allow me to rest.

    (2 people find this post quite agreeable)

    Marcellus: I know that this post doesn’t refer to me because I am not one to be trifiled with. I do not care that you are pregnat, if you insult mine honor I shall demand satisfaction. Ask my grandmother and she will tell you herself that I do not care who you are if you insult mine honor I will thrash you quite throughly. You have been warned cease this tomfoolery or suffer the consequences.

    Ellen: Janice, Marcellus is of a lower class than you are,banish the thought of him. Get thee to your motherly duties for you shall find great joy in them. You are going to be a mother soon and you do not want your child gallavanting about with commoners. It matters not who the father of the child is, you do not want your child associating with such rubbish. I pray that all your days with you child be happy ones full of love. I am here if you ever need to borrow mine ear.

    Marcellus: Ellen, you do not know of that which doth speak. Do not speak on the matter further.

    Marcellus: For the safety of all, Janice I pray thee seal thine loose lips woman. I do not wish to duel anyone but I shall demand satisfaction from anyone that would besmirch my honor. I shall not stop until my honor has been restored, not matter how many adversaries I would thus face.

    Boom Roasted

  20. Perfect example of why I live by the rule: No Glove, No Love. STOP HAVING BABIES, IDIOTS

  21. @longster47

    hahaha 🙂

  22. Woah guys, cool it. I talked to this guy’s grandmother and apparently he’s a real G.

  23. Is it just me, or do the black people seem even more illiterate and retarded than the rest of the human detritus on this site? And what’s with black guys publicly threatening females with violence? WTF is wrong with these people? Is it just a room-temperature IQ or what?

  24. Chamber, my thoughts exactly….& they blame everyone else for their shortcomings

  25. are you two being ironically racist because seriously what the fuck. this site proves that stupidity and trashiness transcends race.

  26. Chamber08 –

    How can you assume they’re black? You can’t see them and their pictures are blurred/pixilated so I think you’re confused. If that’s the type of box you put people in, then I feel very sorry for your ignorance. You must lead a sad life. I’ve seen numerous posts on Facebook from high school peers and people who really didn’t do too much with their lives. These people use bad grammar. These people have intense financial issues that force them to apply for government assistance, such as food stamps and welfare. These people are white.
    I am black and came from a totally different background then they did, am almost done with my scholastic education, and have never had to apply for government assistance. Do I base my opinions of white people based upon their poor grammar and life choices? No.

    @ Carrots- I guess ignorance ignites ignorance. We were just reminded of how far we’ve come and also how far we’ve slid back.

  27. Marcelus may not be black (though chances are he is, with a name like that). He may be one of those trailer trash thug-wannabes and/or a juggalo.

  28. These posts are not even funny anymore. I honestly can’t read them. I don’t want to.

  29. Aries, that was hilarious. I’ve always wanted to translate ghetto-speak into classic English. For example, ‘haters be hatin’ = ‘Those who take pleasure in being cantankerous will persevere in their cantankerousness.’
    Urbanc, I agree, the problem is really to do with the sub-culture of the lower inner-city class (and the very rural class – although rural whites seem to have more problems than rural blacks). However, I do recommend that you base your opinions of white people with bad grammar based upon their bad grammar. In my experience teaching, idiocy really transcends all races (like that ‘Asians are smart’ stereotype is a bunch of bull).
    However, I do think that statistically speaking, ‘Marcelus’ is far more common as a name for blacks than whites. Of course, usually it is spelled ‘Marcellus,’ which could be his name and he just misspelled in on FB.

  30. Marcelus is obviously suffering from some pent up aggression issues….I believe this is because his best friend once ejaculated into his peanut and jelly sandwich and made Marcelus eat it.

    To be blunt Marcelus is a gobby little cum eating prick teaser with an O.G (Old Grandma).

  31. I am noticing a somewhat disturbing obsession with ejaculation in your musings Mr Mofo. I’m thinking some kind of bukkake hazing in your past.

  32. Aries, you may have a bright future in playwriting.

  33. @ Erniesduck123
    I agree. This post wasn’t funny. It made me feel sick. It concerns me that people feel it’s acceptable to use the comment section on this post to demonstrate their wittiness and the cleverness of their vocabularly, whilst ignoring the fact that this post is a clear example of, at best, an attempt to intimidate and, at worst, a clear threat to the well-being of Janice and her unborn child.

  34. Paranoid not EVERY post contains a spunk reference, some have a slight anal agenda, others contain explicit parental abuse jokes, with a side order of necrophilia, bestiality and rape.

    Are you suggesting that because of this I am a cum splattered, bi-sexual, abuse victim who enjoys raping dead animals?! I am.

  35. Time for a restraining order and the use of the block feature.

  36. Holy sh*t! I hate when people type like that.

    How the f*ck am I supposed to work now? My mind is all jumbled trying to read that illiterate bullsh*t.

    Also, I just like saying the word in a redneck accent: “Bullsh*t!”.

    That is all. MIND YO BIZZ!

  37. I don’t give a crap about either of their spelling; I’m just disgusted that Marcelus thinks it’s okay to beat or publicly threaten other people. If I was Janice I’d print out that post, show it to the cops, and get a restraining order. He’s clearly volatile and mentally unsound.

  38. Marcelus at least has his heart (inadvertently) in the right place if he wants to kill these other two mouth breathers. Hopefully he’ll do the deeds before the one has a chance to spew more human garbage from her crotch. Then the justice system can do us the favor of keeping Marcelus away. It’d be a win-win.

  39. mad2physicist

    Actually Marcelus sounds like a name you’d hear in a movie about the 18th century hahaha.
    All the other guys I’ve met with names like that are from another country and usually aren’t black.

  40. wow i didn’t find anything funny about that.

  41. urbanc,

    Re: assuming race, yes it’s possible they could be white/hispanic/whatever, but the odds ARE highly stacked in that favor.

    And while those people from earlier might have been a bit blunt, as someone who worked in the most ghetto Midwest gas station outside of North Minneapolis, I saw that behavior every…single…day. One particular classy individual would look down at his handsome little boy and say “come over here lil’ nigga!” Dad of the year.

    While we might not like stereotypes, often they are based in truth, no matter what box we might check on an affirmative action section.

  42. TylerDurdenUMD FTW!!

  43. Yikes.
    Marcellus epitomizes the phrase “piece of shit” and exhibit A for the case of forced sterilization.

  44. Really with Seth and Amy moment: “Talkin ‘shti'”
    are these people serious???? By God, people. Its called english. learn it!


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