Friday, September 24, 2010

Snappy Snaps

previous post: Wins Before the Weekend



  1. Keona, shes already been there. twice. the problem is, shes deluded herself into thinking that everybody hates her and that she has no reason to live. seeing this thread, i dont fucking blame her. we all have mental problems, we all have hellish lives, but those lucky few of us have people who love us and care about us and can support us through the troubling times. she doesnt even have that luxury. well, except for me. i care about her.

  2. I respect you for being able to deal with that so much. Sometimes I can’t stand being around myself. I’ve heard some people talk of out of body experiences. Lucky bastards..I bet they’re not even nuts, yet they can get away from themselves and just float around, chillin’

    @mass, I would ask what a trawler is, but as we were talking of oceanic traveling, I can only assume it’s some type of ship or boat. I’ll google it though to be sure.

  3. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives…

  4. Hi word!

    Fucked up thread, eh’s shitty out and I’ve been sitting in doing what I can here…tough material to work with.

  5. mass, if I were you I wouldn’t bother trying to work with this bullshit. It has zero interest for me. I’ve said my piece, anyway. Off to work soon. Too bad about the weather over there. It’s gonna be a hot one here today. Yay!

  6. very philosophical word, but how about something a bit more pertinent…?
    like nuggets through the deep fat fryer…?

    excruciasm – ever thought of death by suicide pact? because thequeen sounds like she’s up for it. seems sensible – two birds, one stone (and i’m not talking about the anorexia).

  7. I was quoting that dumb soap, alord, but you knew that, right? Your version works much better in this instance. I likey.

    And your second paragraph… awesome.

  8. alordslums, i cant believe the type of human being you are. youre an insufferable, arrogant prick and you delight in the misfortunes of others. i didnt think people like that actually existed. you laugh at the thought of someone dying. youre disgusting and despicable. a waste of oxygen.

  9. I normally would never make light of mental illness, but I simply can’t take this seriously. Telling us about a cutting scenario and hospital visit on a Lamebook thread (that was the apparent catalyst for said events) is just fucking bullshit.

    “two birds, one stone etc.” I’ll be laughing about that one all day…

  10. oh i see word, so you think im lying? thats why youre all laughing, because you dont think its real? why would it not be real? do you think its unlikely?

  11. What word said ^ ..

    Okay.. going to drink to pass out now.

  12. @ex..Real or not … TMI for Lamebook comments section.

  13. ex, grow up.

    That is all.

  14. TMI for the lamebook comments section? its only tmi if you actually know the person personally. you guys dont know me or queen, and you never will. therefore, its not tmi.

    and what part of anything i have ever said on this thread is supposed to be childish? the part where i care about my roommate enough to defend her?

  15. ex, not to jump in on your rant but shouldn’t you be at a hospital right now, caring about your distraught queenie? I’m sure alord would assist you with some coordinates if you’re lost. Oh and if you want to be REALLY helpful, you could carry some rat poison for her too. That’s what my uncle used, so I can vouch for it’s effectiveness.

  16. *its

  17. And alord, 147 made me giggle really loud. Twice.

  18. Yeah, but we still don’t know wtf a ‘marrow’ is…

  19. Sweet, it’s an Asian chick.

  20. Yay that makes me half-marrow!

  21. ..other 1/2 Dorito by any chance? no eh.


  22. it’s not letting me comment….

  23. it’s a massive, massive zucchini, ok?

    it makes me sad that i know what ‘jerk’ and ‘lousy’ and ‘leastways’ and ‘happenstance’ and ‘faucet’ means, but almost no-one outside of england knows what ‘wank’ means! or if they do, they don’t know that it can be an adjective too! wank is just about the best word ever! ‘i’ve been wanking like crazy for three days straight!’ ‘tito, that t-shirt is wank!’

    before anyone jumps on me – this doesn’t make me angry, it makes me sad. like i want to cry a little bit… which usually makes me want to have a wank…

    what was i talking about again? i lost my train of thought… i think i was having that daydream again where i assassinated mother theresa..

  24. it made me take out the url link i posted to marrow porn.


  25. marrow porn? Sigh… there really are no exceptions to the rule. Oh and I know what wank means, don’t despair!

  26. @mass, not 1/2 Dorito, but I think I have a little from my grand-aunt twice removed.

  27. massive zucchini is actually my full name… ironic.

  28. Why’d they remove your aunt junebug? JUst kidding… never understood that term.

    BTW.. we actually have June Bugs here … yes, in June. They’re kinda big to boot.

    Felt you should know, I am not insinuating you are big… just sayin’.

  29. mass, i shall henceforth always refer to you as ‘massive zucchini’, and i’m fairly sure it won’t ever fail to make me chuckle!

    you know what they say, ‘if the cap fits….’


  30. I never understood it either mass, that’s why I like to stick it in. I really hope I dont have much in common with the June Bugs you’re familiar with. Ugly little buggers.

    Thanks for clarifying the big comment, I nearly pulled out my razor and headed for the bathroom, queen-style.

  31. on a serious note though, mass, make sure you’re this side of the border come next friday. you know what tito’s like when he’s angry….

  32. …fuckin’ Tito cut me last time I was late. I know what he’s like. Wank nuts.. (no, eh)

    June… 55F here, I’ll be throwing anchor in the Caribbean soon. I meant nothing with the june bug thing…

  33. I know you didn’t mean anything mass, I was kidding 🙂

    You’re coming down to my territory f’real? Which island?

  34. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Marrow is a type of cake I first heard about it when I was living in UK. I think Alord wants Keona to give him piece of that, and then he can share a piece of marrow cake with her afterward 🙂 (sorry I couldn’t resist). I seem to have become the resident slang/slur/ definition guy here.

    Also mass I stay by winston churchill and 401.

  35. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I also can’t believe I passed out last night when Soup was just getting warmed up.

  36. They use the term ‘marrow’ in Safrica too 🙂

    Thequeen and ex are a two headed- one bodied- schizo troll. Pity, I liked the idea of a sickly naive 20 year old obese- anorexic Soup wanker.

    Keona. You’re actually one of my new favourites so with all do respect I really wish you’d talk about your imperfect genes a tad bit less. I think you’re awesome but I gag easily. Now I imagine you as a mental American bulging out of her bikini, nothing like your pic! Wait a sec… this isn’t is it?

  37. Fucking awesome read, made my Monday morning that little bit more bearable.

    Fat people, MLK, cutting, marrows and self abuse, what more can a man ask for?

  38. The second photo is titled ‘Whale Watching’. This is because just out of shot there is a Whale watching a fat cunt on a boat.

    I’m encouraged that the foxy fuck piece in the last picture can’t tell the difference between a giraffe and a zebra, it means she might fall for the good old ‘Elephant Routine’

    Cole has carved the name of his favourite computer game onto his arm, i once did something similar but on my cock. the game was Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix.

  39. @Imamofo, I can see why you’d have to explain that last one…considering you must’ve gotten the initials SSF2 THD. I’d have thought it was a license plate number, possibly the one that flattened you.

    That being said, now that I’ve walked into this hellish prison and smacked the baddest mofo in the joint in the nose, does this mean I can serve my sentence in peace? I’ve watched jailhouse movies, that’s how you do it, right?

  40. @derigeurposeur

    We may have been watching different prison movies to be honest, in all the ones i’ve seen you’d have casually walked in, bopped me on the nose, been bent over the nearest bench and back door battered for a good 1-2 hours.

    You’d spend the rest of your sentence calling yourself ‘Daisy’, and extolling how much you love the taste of SSF2 THD.

    oh and i’m not the baddest mofo in here…

  41. @Dukey, that made me laugh.
    @Saffer, I apologize. I meant no disgust to anyone.

    To prove that, yes, my pic isn’t bulging out of anywhere. That’s a picture of me when I was skinnier. I thought if was going to talk about that on LB, why add to the fappability for chubby chasers and add a not-so-flattering up to date pic?

    It makes me lose some IQ points every time I hear or see an online dating commercial. I rarely watch TV now, partially because of that trash.

  42. not quite ready to let this thread go just yet….

    mofo – just wanted to tell you that the streetfighter tat comment had me laughing like zangief after a ground and pound (i’m not gay).

    one of my finest moments was streetfighter themed, and it really is a true story.
    i, along with 200 or so other english undergraduates, was in a mind-numbingly boring lecture about an english renaissance poet called philip sidney. the dour, menopausal lecturer was talking about his popularisation of certain poetic forms, then went on to describe his untimely death, finally intimating that the two facts taken together led to a boom in sonnet writing in england in the months and years after his passing. whereupon i stood up in the middle of the lecture, and mimicking the action as best i could, let out an almighty


    one person laughed, everyone else looked at me with a mixture of abject horror and disgust.

    i may have no people skills, but i sure as hell got guile.

  43. Holy Mother of God, how did i miss this?

  44. Omg alord.. Sonnet boom.. I can’t breathe.. So brilliant.. !

  45. @Saffer, I forgot to add this, I’m not sure if you got my jokes, but that’s just what they were, jokes. If you gagged over those G rated pussy topics, would you prefer to re-read the suicidal trollings of the insane queenie and her anorexia?

    I digress, to each their own.

    Just for you though, I’ll go vomit some while cutting myself so the blood and fat can mix together and pour out of every orifice. Perhaps that will be my new picture. 😀

    (psst, that was moar jokes)

  46. haha, most jokes go over my head… maybe it’s cos I have such a vivid imagination. At least it keeps my weight down 🙂

  47. I’ve hear laughter is supposed to help tone abs..I love to laugh but now I have one more reason to.

  48. Well that was a waste of time.

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