Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Snappy Snaps

previous post: Awkward…



  1. 1. I’m sure that is his/her copy of the receipt and not the one the restaurant saw. That makes this image a passive-aggressive scaredy cat move.

    2. An old retort that’s been around as long as the abortion debate has been going on. Yawn. She does get points for looking like Amy Winehouse, though.

    3. Cruel. Not funny.

  2. Its not cruel. Cruel is starving your baby, not using scotch tape to hold a nook in place. Trashy and stupid, yes.

  3. “Cruel” would be using scotch tape to hold the ball-gag in your baby’s mouth.

    The taped dummy will probably end in manslaughter though – do you know how frequently babies vomit? This is not gonna end well.

  4. Not to be a buzzkill, but I’m a peds nurse. We had parents who actually had their baby taken away by cps because the mom taped the paci in the mouth in the hospital(there were other issues-this sealed the deal). It’s a severe choking hazard(yes, babies vomit frequently, and if the nose is at all congested, the baby can’t breathe. I’ll put my soap box away now, but I just couldn’t let anyone think that’s funny.

  5. Nobody said it was funny. I said it wasnt cruel. Its dangerous, most likely a result from lack of knowledge or just a bad decision. Since your a peds nurse my guess is you see bad parents everyday and are quite comfortable judging other parenting skills. Quick to jump on the band wagon of crying abuse and taking children away. So, I wont argue.

  6. ^ I think she was speaking to the slow people on Lamebook. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Steeeever, T1000 or ToTheFlames all day, so I’m not sure they’ll get the message. Pfft, who am I kidding? They’ll never sire progeny.

    So long as crustylovelips, with his newborn child, understands the basics of pacifier no-nos, it should be fine.

  7. IM HERE!!! I was just busy taping my babies pacifier to its head with 1/2 a roll of grey duct tape. What were you guys talking about that made you miss me?

  8. I think deviantnicole actually summed it up pretty nicely

  9. eh, I’m not a huge fan of making fun of babies, or even children, unless they’re mentally deficient…then it’s *kind of* ok with me.

  10. Capn, I’ve decided to read your comment without the bit in the commas. Very funny

  11. Ok, so that’ll be the second bit in the commas

  12. Pfft look at all of you with your namby pamby, modern ‘oooh think of the fucking children’ mentality. ‘oooh don’t cellotape the little fuckers head’. This is why we have a generation of entitled, spoilt little wankfests coming to crop at the moment. Tough love guys, it’s the way forward.

    My seventh son was forever loosing his shoes, so we cut off both his feet. Lesson learnt. Stumpyleg hasn’t lost a shoe since.

  13. In the UK (United Kingdom) we have the saying: “Piss poor” which is generally used as a deprecating phrase meaning “terrible performance” or “bad form”.

    In the case of the first photo it can be taken literally, and in two ways:

    The clientèle has rendered an anatomically incorrect stick figure urinating from an invisible appendage onto the space allotted for him / her to write down the sum total of their proposed tip in what one can assume is am attempt to show that the service they received was below par or, indeed, “piss poor”

    Alternatively, it can also demonstrate the person in questions general economic means – as taking the time to draw out this unabashedly crude drawing does little to hide the fact that anyone unwilling to leave a $1.4(10% rounded up) tip is a cunt.

    Imamofo – I feel for little Stumpyleg – if he was *loosing* his shoes, a more suitable maiming would be to have taken his fingers and introducing Velcro fixed shoes, thus leaving him the use of his legs.

  14. ^ You missed a period in there, right at the end of the first way-too-long paragraph, inside the quotation marks at the end of (and I’ll demonstrate the correct form), “piss poor.”
    Just saying. I actually enjoy your grammatically-correct long-ass stories; but don’t go and fuck that up.

  15. So if a blow job is cannibalism, then my husbands nutsack is a daycare? huh?

  16. daycare, kettle, barbecue, marinade, you’re on the right path with that, I think…

  17. Marinade… good one.

  18. You can see the signature next to the X, so this is the one he gave to the restaurant.

  19. Nails hit it on the head.

  20. Why did he draw a man protecting his nutsack from a spitting lhasa apsa? Am I missing the symbolism?

  21. Funny, funny, and funny I never thought of that

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