Monday, August 2, 2010

Take-Out Tales

previous post: Get the Picture (NSFW)



  1. ben?

  2. i was the one who punched adam.

    just to clear it up – it wasn’t because he was black, but because he touched my penis in the taco bell toilets and then tried to laugh it off by saying ‘jus bein’ real lol’.

  3. I’ve never been to Taco Bell. Any good?

  4. ‘looks like she celebrates her birthday everyday.’ Bahahaha

    Hobo: Taco Bell is over-processed mexican foodesque cuisine that has sand as an additive because it makes a great preservative . . . In other words, that shit is on fire! Great especially when you are drunker than hell.

  5. Agreed with eusadnama. Taco Bell is fantastic when drunk. And high. Especially high. The menu is like a Dr. Suess book when stoned.

  6. Hobo Taco Hell is a great cure for a hangover or when still drunk off your ass. Just have a bathroom ready after eating it. Montezumas Revenge will get you quick as hell with the Tex-Mex food they serve.

  7. ha ha ha ha ha ha! That is great eusadnama! Drunker than hell oh ya.

    I think he works at Taco Bell and got punched by a customer because TB always gets his order wrong and they got sick of it……. Just sayin.

  8. Hobo: It it is also known as “Toxic Bell”! It is awesome when you’ve been drinking (open all nite). Goes thru ya like sh!t thru a goose.

  9. me and my asshole both regret ever eating at taco hell…it hasn’t been the same since

  10. Ohhh Taco Bell, the things you’ve done to me are unforgivable. I can’t eat there anymore, just makes me sick to my stomach. Though, it was delicious when stoned and drunk, which could have led to a bad experience… Just sayin’.

  11. @kara: You are absolutely right. I had to have a “nice” little conversation with the GM at the one by my work. Lets just say it ended with me never being able to go back to that Taco Bell again. It’s not like I am missing out on much though.

    Word of advice Hobes, don’t let them know you are drunk. They made a friend of mine wait for their food so the cops could show up and escort them to a place to sleep it off.

  12. @Hobo – TB is great yes but don’t let them fool you with their weak little “pepper sauces”. The one called “fire” is about as hot as skimmed milk. Having said that, you will still shit yourself silly after eating there, but it’s a popular misconception that it’s because it’s spicy. It’s not that; it’s the e-coli

  13. LOL defective. That is awesome. If I ever wanted to get into that much trouble I would hit a guy too. However, I usually get what I want anyway with my words. I’m told I’m good at complaining and hackling when it comes to stupid people and managers at fast food places. lmao. eh whatever.

  14. Actually it started out with me getting free lunch for a month. I was on a good roll until I said that a monkey could do his job and he should try not to fling his feces into the Alpo they call meat.

    I was HIGHLY pissed.

  15. Very nice. I got kicked out of a Tesoro and told never to come back…. lmao!
    Usually, just because I get something out of it does not mean that I would use it, or I do and then when I come back to get said free whatever…. I continue to tell them how much better I could do their job with my eyes closed… lmao

  16. Joe… too much information.

  17. Taco Bell has never given me any kind of stomach problems, for the record. Also, I can enjoy it without being drunk or high. So uhh…?

    Anyway, Chelsea (or Tina, I really can’t tell) might win the worst birthday present ever award. Sonic is alright, but not somewhere I’d want to go for a SPECIAL BIRTHDAY TREAT. I do agree with Raymond though, it looks like someone has a lot of birthdays…

  18. @ Hey: I bow to your iron stomach…

  19. @Hey: I too can eat Taco Bell without it hurting my stomach. I did, however, grow up on the Mexican border . . . So I am sure I have immunities to all kinds of diseases most people don’t even know about.

  20. Taco Bell coming back up is NASTY. I love mexican food, but they are a pathetic excuse of a quesadilla. That, and I can’t handle much of KFC either… Unless it’s a Big Crunch or Twister. Mmmm mmm.

  21. Hello the girl at sonic is pregnant.

  22. It’s not funny to call fat chicks pregnant.

  23. Taco Bell is better than the Mexican food available in Australia, especially when it’s about $18 for a mini burrito. You whining American bastards should just eat your 50c taco and be thankful you didn’t have to pay more for your burning butthole.

  24. The other thing that’s good about Taco Bell is the food is made with real Mexicans. Here in Australia the Mexican food is actually made from imported Asian-Americans.

  25. Paranoid Android

    Do they have Taco Bell in England? If not, why the devil not? I need somewhere to go when I am either bladdered, baked or both. The manky kebab shop will have to suffice for now.

  26. Just opened their first one- somewhere in south London I think. What does “gypped” mean?

  27. Paranoid Android

    @26 gypped means to be conned/swindled/done over/stitched up.

    Good news about the Taco Bell for all the eel-munching Gawd Bless yer Mary Poppins types, meanwhile, north of the Watford Gap, us mere mortals will continue to suffer 😀

  28. In London they have barburritos, which, though a bit expensive, are awesome!

  29. He’s lucky he didn’t bump into Michael Douglas as in the film “Falling Down”. He’d of got more than a black eye! Great scene…

  30. @26, think “Jewed”, but with Gypsies being the ones getting slandered.

  31. I also have no problem with Taco Bell. Been eating it for years and never got sick or any kind of bowel issues. Lamebookpro is correct though. Their sauces may as well be ketchup. In fact, I think the “Mild” sauce is.
    To call it “Mexican? though…hmmmm, maybe Mexicanish or Mexicany. The only thing really Mexican about my local Taco Bell is the guy making the tacos.

  32. What is ‘SONIC’?

  33. sonic,its like a drive in kinda thing,like a modern 50’s carhop kind of deal.with burgers,shakes,that kinda stuff.the foods pretty gross but they have pretty good drinks/slushes.i think theyre mainly in cali..

  34. @26,it’s suppose to be means the same thing as jewed,screwed over,cheated,ect. it’s just a slang word..

  35. I was browsing through the archives of 2009 recently to actually see some funny updates, then I came back to see the entries of the last few weeks and it’s just plain sad to see what lamebook has become…

  36. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I had Nandos at the Big Day Out. I don’t know if it was just the tired out festival van staff, after 10 hours, but that was SHIT.

    A greasy excuse for a chicken fillet, poorly battered in what was supposed to be their hottest coating, and it was weaker than mouthwash!

    …that said, I have been known to eat birdseye chilis raw…

    Anyone else had Nandos? Was my experience just a bad one?

  37. diet, i love birdeye chilis. on sainsbury’s own version of the scoville chart, it says scotch bonnets are hotter, but based on personal experience i have to disagree.

    when i was at university a few years back, i used to have scrambled egg and chopped chilis for breakfast. one morning, feeling particularly dozy and uninspired, i made it with 8 birdeye chilis and only 2 eggs.

    that night, having forgotten about my breakfast, i went to fabric (big club) for a night out. around midnight i started getting massive stomach cramps and feeling woozy. i then spent about 2 hours in the toilets (it cost me £15 to get in!) having the most epic shit of my life. i even rang my friend ben for moral support, and told him i needed a midwife to help deliver my chili-baby and other such nonsense being, after all, at the height of a delirious episode.

    i love chilis though. no matter how many rough morning-afters i have, i always come back for more punishment.

  38. ^tl;dr

  39. Taco Bell is horrible. If I order something, the order is messed up and I get some nasty excuse for a burrito. And if I actually enjoy my meal, I get sick. Taco Bell gives Mexican food a bad name.

    And as for Sonic’s, I can relate. I live in the northeast where we were, as of a week ago, formerly Sonics-less. For years I endured commercials of slushies, shakes, sundaes, and ice cream treats knowing that I could never enjoy their splendors. So I made a big deal of it to go to Sonic’s whenever I would drive through the South.

  40. sonic,not sonic’s.
    idk why that bothers me so much,but it does.

  41. Taco Bell should not be consumed by anyone over the age of 24. After 24, your stomach will no longer be able to process such bile. Sonic’s (How do you like that possesive use, ohbabybaby? 😉 ) food is crap too, but their drinks are awesome. I buy their ice by the bag, it’s the best.

  42. @24 In the state that i live in, Mexicans work at McDonalds, and white high school kids work at taco bell.

  43. I don’t mind taco bell, then again I’m a vegetarian, so the only things I’ve ever eaten are their bean and cheese burritos and meatless nachos. Certainly nothing to write home about but it works for fast, cheap food. And of course restaurant to restaurant is different.

    Sonic, on the other hand, is DELISH. Mmmm, their breakfast burritos are sooo good.

  44. i don’t get number two?

  45. @jimmy123 I’m not too sure what “Sonic” is but im assuming it’s a fast food joint, which Tina must be going to for a birthday meal or something. Apparently it’s really funny now to comment on a girl who doesn’t look that ‘big’ to begin with..

  46. Hi, I’m here to complain about the fat post. It’s not nice. That girl isn’t even overweight. Okay, moving right along.. thanks for your time.

  47. haha my name is curry lol

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