Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Loud Lease Breaker

previous post: Life Lessons



  1. jesuschristanlsuperstar

    Oh my I hope she is okay………

  2. I have a question: Where’s the camera?

  3. Nobody words a letter like that unless it’s fake and they’re trying to sound all official.

  4. very fake

  5. The company is real even down to the logo. One of two things: Someone who works there typed this up as a prank/scam for FB or it’s real.

  6. I am a property manager and I have sent several of these letters out myself. They’re not as uncommon as you’d think, especially if you rent to a lot of college students.

  7. I would feel nothing but a sense of pride and achievement if i had a letter like this.

    But allas, my 2″ love length is just not up to the challenge.

  8. #6(If you are who you say you are) It’s not the content I have an issue with, it’s the wording. Do you really write like that in your letters? If so, I stand corrected.

  9. Disturbed Artist, unfortunately, the art of penning a letter has died out in the last 15 years, so it’s very possible that this letter is not only genuine, but the author actually considers it to be a professional communiqué. Let’s be honest; rental property managers aren’t necessarily the cream of the crop, are they (sorry # 6, but it’s true).

    It’s also possible that the letter’s as fake as unicorn shit, but who’s to say?

  10. Bacchante has a great point. I’ve had “professional” emails sent to me with all sorts of strange wording. Usually people who think they’re intelligent trying to us “big words” but using them incorrectly. It’s very possible this is real. Also, notice the crease marks on the letter to show it was folded. If this was a scam by someone who works in the management office, they went a long way to fake it (creases and all).

  11. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    It’s a perfectly cromulent letter. The author has just embiggened their vocabulary, that’s all.

  12. I wish to receive a letter, period.

  13. i like how they specifically mentioned “moaning or crying in ecstasy.”

    One of my old apartment managers was actually that person making the noise. That was an interesting experience.

  14. drchalk, why do you use such sesquipedalian locutions? It appears that you are obfuscating the point intentionally.

  15. This isn’t funny, really 🙂 And everybody who happened to live next to such people knows it. Anyway, guys, if she “moans or cries” too loud, she fakes it. There’s no way a really pleased girl would have the power to scream sooo loud. Unless the walls are made of paper 🙂 Porn emulation, nothing more.

  16. ^ Or actual porn.

  17. #15 tambourinist, yes. what you say is valid and has merit.
    but do you have to be so fucking cheerful?

  18. Some women like to be that noisy so that others know they’re actuallt getting some.

  19. #7 probably not if it’s a guy coming home, and waking up to his video…

  20. On the other hand I had one room in college where there were these two girls on the other side of the wall who were hypersensitive to ANY noise I made. All me and my friends had to do was just walk into the room or something, not even talking really, and they would be knocking on the door telling us to be quiet. People are going to make some noise, if you don’t like it get a house.

  21. ^ … in rural Montana.

  22. “Be that as it may, It would…” As always, a seemingly intelligent individual writes a note to someone he believes is “beneath” him and assumes he is perfect in every way. What everyone has failed to notice is that he used an uppercase i after a comma in a compound sentence. Now I ask you, who is the real idiot here, the guy getting laid or the guy with the I-D-10-T affliction?

  23. Bachannte why so butthurt over ‘the art of penning’ ? Also, that letter was ‘typed’. Nice try you bag of cocks. But your pseudo-intellectualism, fails you yet again.

  24. Flames, for a git that can’t even get my name right, I’m not surprised that you are once again incorrect:

    To pen, verb: 1. Write or compose.

    Google could have helped you here, seeing as sub-standard intelligence runs in your family.

  25. ^To waste one’s time, homily: 1.attempting to engage the retardeds.

  26. Don’t even go there, MsAnne, you hypocritical tart, you. And by that, I mean: nice fishing over yonder =)

    Although, to be fair, Sam-Girl just jumped on your line without even any bait. I just don’t understand it…

  27. Pheromones. I smell like trouble.

  28. Baccante, you’re right. Now that I think about it, the last few actual letters I’ve gotten (thank you notes, that kind of thing) have been kind of off. To be honest, I was just amazed to get something in the mail, instead of an email.

    And Flames? Why do you even try? You always, and I do mean always, end up sounding like a retarded chimp. No wait, that’s insulting the chimp…

  29. You don’t think he’s serious, do you? That would be so fucking tragic. I mean, it SEEMS like he thinks he’s winning these little skirmishes, but surely no one can be that ignorant.

  30. Surely not. Then again…

  31. too. many. chromosomes.

  32. The phraseology in the letter is affected, yes, but that doesn’t mean it is fake. The author is just overcompensating for the silliness of the subject matter with his wording and style. Again, doesn’t mean it is a fake letter.

  33. As funny as the letter is, real or otherwise, I must say I find it rather entertaining reading the comments, seeing people with at least reasonable intelligence arguing with people who seem like they couldn’t spell IQ

  34. They’re all pretty intelligent, the not so clever ones are ousted within a week of joining, one or two exceptions of course…

  35. Is it just my imagination, or have we all become emboldened since #19? Next you know it’ll BE ALL CAPS. ~ whimper ~

  36. It’s your imagination, Rubert. It looks completely normal to me.

  37. To be honest, I try to keep my correspondence with my tenants as professional as possible, usually citing the portions of the lease of which they’re in violation. However, I have seen letters from my predecessors written exactly like this.

    Sadly, Bacchante is correct – the art of written communication, professional or otherwise, is dying.

  38. beatus, you’re a bad man… Although strangely enough, italics seemed to help the meaning of Flames’ rants enter my brain with less effort and headache-inducing concentration yesterday. It’s almost like the fancier text charmed its way into my cognisance.

    sockmonkeyboxinggloves (great imagery in your user name, by the way), you sound overqualified to work in the real estate industry (at least in Australia), or to be in any type of management role. You give me hope for the future though. Bless.

  39. …and after reading some of your property management horror stories, maybe I’m being too hard on my property managers. After all, they DO have to deal with fucktard tenants day in, day out.

  40. I’d love to see what property management has to say after I invite Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud over for a lovely donkey show.

  41. Have them do it right out on the balcony, Capn, or maybe have Sexy Stud push Kinky Kelly face-first against your largest window while he satisfies her for all to see. See what kind of letter you get for that.

  42. Hell no! I want her glitter cooch up against the glass!!

  43. from memory, I think you’ll be looking at more of a gooch, than an actual cooch.

  44. Sparkle cooch.

  45. Fuck it! So close! I knew I should have checked the correct terminology.

  46. I once got told off by a landlord because the neighbours had complained about the loud aggressive sex noises (like Chewbacca with whopping cough) coming from our house.. I’ve since moved out of mums’ and got a place of my own.

  47. #41 reading that caused me to choke on the glass of water I was drinking….#43 glad you noticed the JnSB reference to the scene at Moobys

  48. @46 good call

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