Poor Garrett, somebody please get him a blow up doll to practice on. Will probably need to be a male doll though, I’m thinking it’s heading that way for him…
Menstruation is a natural thing. It’s like trees blowing in the wind or a baby calf learning to walk for the first time. It’s like a flake of skin clinging to your shirt as you take it off or a piece of toast landing butter side down. It’s like a baby’s tears or a mother’s breastmilk.
How are these all alike? They’re all natural and beautiful….. and I’ve eaten every one of them at least once.
I know a woman that has been bottling her urine for 10 years. Do I smell a match made in heaven? Or… hmmm, no, I smell ammonia… she also has arthritis, so she can’t close the jars all THAT well.
@dawnstar
awww, you’re making me blush. I’m actually a mixture of Jacob and Edward… I rarely go out in the sunlight and I’m incredibly hairy all over. I just thought I was a geeky guy with bad genes. Maybe I’m actually a werepire!
@mcowles – Wonder what 10 years’ worth of bottled urine goes for on the black market. Or would that be more of an auction item? Seriously, why the hell would she…?
I think you may need to add that to urban dictionary. Now I’m wishin I was a dude just so I could possibly work it into dialogue at some point in my life. It would give me something to strive for, if you will.
Truly, your investigative skills are unparallelled. (And, just for kicks, another subcategory of the human female I am not a part of: those who prefer fruit. ha!)
My investigative side has noticed that you used the word “prefer”. Therefore, you leave open the door (and your legs) to the possibility that you ENJOY fruit, but that you just don’t prefer it over “the meat”.
My Freudian side noticed that you used the term “just for kicks” and wonders if you have a masochistic side to yourself as well.
My Richard Simmons side wishes you were male and wore more patriotic tank tops.
My Chewbacca side wishes hnnnhrrhhh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw!
You say downside, Garrett and myself say that we just found something to keep our interest until the end. It’s like a new sport, not nearly as boring as regular 69.
@dawnstar and happysam
I hope no one realizes that I created you both just to feed my ego, mwahahahaha *cough* hahahaha.
@dawnstar
Same. I just wanted to let you know your comments are better than the post itself. I can only aspire to the level of [in?]fame you have achieved.
@dawnstar
Three Amigos! 🙂
“Not so fast, El Guapo! Or I’ll pump you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil!”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.”
lol mcowles! So wrong!
Poor Garrett, somebody please get him a blow up doll to practice on. Will probably need to be a male doll though, I’m thinking it’s heading that way for him…
@eenerbl
Menstruation is a natural thing. It’s like trees blowing in the wind or a baby calf learning to walk for the first time. It’s like a flake of skin clinging to your shirt as you take it off or a piece of toast landing butter side down. It’s like a baby’s tears or a mother’s breastmilk.
How are these all alike? They’re all natural and beautiful….. and I’ve eaten every one of them at least once.
@mcowles – You think that’s weird…I know a guy who’s in to urine. How’s that for finger lickin’ good?
Team mcowles FTW!
(I mean, I gotta give props to anyone who’s ever eaten a f*ckin TREE)
@Who’s That Girl?
I know a woman that has been bottling her urine for 10 years. Do I smell a match made in heaven? Or… hmmm, no, I smell ammonia… she also has arthritis, so she can’t close the jars all THAT well.
@dawnstar
awww, you’re making me blush. I’m actually a mixture of Jacob and Edward… I rarely go out in the sunlight and I’m incredibly hairy all over. I just thought I was a geeky guy with bad genes. Maybe I’m actually a werepire!
oh, btw, that tree was f*ckin DELICIOUS!
@slimjayz – bring weed with you to the mobile classroom please. 😉
@mcowles – Wonder what 10 years’ worth of bottled urine goes for on the black market. Or would that be more of an auction item? Seriously, why the hell would she…?
@mcowles
ha! werepire. classic! Team Jedward all the way.
@dawnstar
I was thinking more Team Jacward… just because it sounds like the direction in which one masturbates.
“Don’t aim that thing at me, point it Jacward! No, NOOOO, MY MOM’S WEDDING DRESS!!! Wait, why was that laying out on the bed anyway?”
@mcowles
I think you may need to add that to urban dictionary. Now I’m wishin I was a dude just so I could possibly work it into dialogue at some point in my life. It would give me something to strive for, if you will.
@dawnstar
Women can still “jack it”, they just don’t need to worry as much about aiming. Well, some still do.
However, you just admitted that you’re not in that subcategory of the human female. 🙂
@mcowles
Truly, your investigative skills are unparallelled. (And, just for kicks, another subcategory of the human female I am not a part of: those who prefer fruit. ha!)
@dawnstar
My investigative side has noticed that you used the word “prefer”. Therefore, you leave open the door (and your legs) to the possibility that you ENJOY fruit, but that you just don’t prefer it over “the meat”.
My Freudian side noticed that you used the term “just for kicks” and wonders if you have a masochistic side to yourself as well.
My Richard Simmons side wishes you were male and wore more patriotic tank tops.
My Chewbacca side wishes hnnnhrrhhh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw!
Wow, I’m such a tool….
@mcowles – #64 – Yes, the first time is generally a surprise and can make quite a mess…if you’re into that sort of thing 😉
@mcowles
well played, good sir!
Now tell me more about this Chewbacca side…..
crap. I just had to stop myself from making a horrible reference to the Star Wars Holiday Special. (a pure WIN, btw)
….I promise I’m really cool, guys. …Guys?
@Anna
I am.
@dawnstar
You’re almost as cool as me. Therefore I’m very sorry.
@mcowles
Your wit is unparalleled. Just wanted to let you know it made my day. 🙂
@mcowles
Judging by your very humorous previous postings, I will take that as a compliment. So f*ck yeah!
@mcowles – The only downside is if it’s during 69 you can get sprayed in the eyes. Er, perhaps you’re into THAT sort of thing as well.
@Anna
You say downside, Garrett and myself say that we just found something to keep our interest until the end. It’s like a new sport, not nearly as boring as regular 69.
@dawnstar and happysam
I hope no one realizes that I created you both just to feed my ego, mwahahahaha *cough* hahahaha.
@m – I don’t know that even a good squirt would keep Garrett interested. Well, perhaps if it was a squirt of man-juice…
@mcowles
the main reason I started posting here was your awesome comments, man. so yeah, in a sense that’s kinda true, lol.
@dawnstar
Same. I just wanted to let you know your comments are better than the post itself. I can only aspire to the level of [in?]fame you have achieved.
I won’t even attempt to hide how pathetic that sounded. I’m somewhat brain-dead due to lack of sleep. My apologies. Continue.
Not lame at all. Personally, I think you’re both awesome, screw the rest of these people!
Ok, I have posted more today than I have in the last month combined. I hope I didn’t set any flags off and end up getting fired.
Be well Lamebook!
Hehe, Garrett likes the male syrup on his mancakes.
“Ah, Dusty…. Infamous is when you’re MORE than famous. See, this guy El Guapo is not just famous, he’s IN-famous!”
squee! they like me, they really like me!
Agreed, mc. Tis the end of the day.
Y’all have a good one!
@dawnstar
Three Amigos! 🙂
“Not so fast, El Guapo! Or I’ll pump you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil!”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“It said shoot UP. WE both shot UP. …It’s like living with a six-year-old!”
“Oh great. Real bullets!”
@ anna
I will bring my weed… damn you gals all wanting me for my large sack…
Poor Leo needs to go see a doctor. Blood in the jizz can be an indicator of testicular cancer.
slimjayz, you bring yours and I’ll bring mine. I’m sure we can come up with something firm and fat. And roll a doober 😉
Oh great. Now I’m really viewing lamebook posts just to laugh reading the comments..
Oh wow…all I have to say is…
poor guy.
ewww
ewww
ewww
WTF?!?!
methinks Garrett might have something he hasn’t been sharing with the class…
@mcowles && Dawn Star—->
And P.S. you peeps are entirely to funny && awesome for your own good…