Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What You Care to Share

previous post: The Owned Zone



  1. Holy shit, there should have been some kind of warning to NOT READ Jennifer’s status! YUCK!


  3. Listen, party people. I’m a zoo keeper, and if anybody knows about zoonotic diseases and internal parasites, I’m your dude.

    In America, worms are in fact quite rare in humans. Our food and water supplies are among the cleanest and safest in the world. There is always a possibility for contracting worms or other internal parasites, but it is a very rare occurrence in the USA/Canada. You probably have ingested parasites at some point, but whether you ingested them in a form that is capable of infecting you is a different story. I.e., cooking kills them, so as long as you’re not eating raw pork you’re A-okay. Processed foods involve a lot of cooking during production and are generally parasite-free, too.

    If you feel drained, it’s not because you’re eating pork and are all full of worms. It’s because you are a lazy fuck who sits around all day. Get out and exercise. You’ll feel great.

    As for Jennifer, anybody who would post triumphant status updates about getting a hose stuck up their ass is obviously gullible and ready to believe anything. Colon hydrotherapy is a bunch of crap. Our colons do not trap years’ worth of accumulated waste that slowly poisons us. That was made up by people who want to scare you into paying them lots of money to stick hoses up your butt. If you believe that shit, then you deserve to shell out cash to have a pervert stick a hose up your butt.

    Jennifer takes a “parasite cleanse,” which is another way to part a fool from her money. These “colon cleanse” drinks and pills are usually full of gelatin and plant fibers, which, once ingested and then crapped our hosed out, create stringy, rubbery wads of black ickiness that look like a) parasites or b) years’ worth of accumulated toxic shit. You are getting what you pay the supplement companies for: The illusion that their magical fiber pills are removing nonexistent junk from your intestines. Undoubtedly, what Jennifer saw coming out of her hiney was the result of taking a product that was intended to trick her into thinking she can’t live without more of said product.

    You are MUCH more likely to get internal parasites from handling animal feces than from eating safe, clean North American food. Unless Jennifer juggles dung on a regular basis or romps barefoot through fields where animals have recently shat, she’s got nothing to worry about. And neither have you.

    Skepticism: It does a body good. And prevents you from being duped into paying for a hose stuck up your ass.

  4. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    hahahahahahaha slim! That was awesome! Wonder what mccowles did when she didn’t return from the bathroom… hmm…

  5. Wow, nice explanation TurkeyVulture

  6. BritishHobo , you can weep your heart out at these ones, i will even let you cry on my shoulder without feelink akward about it.

    Even my masculin testosteron filled body is shedding a tear after reading this

    ps turkey Vulture ftw for this little piece of infotainment

  7. And malteaser speaks again ? did they take you off your meds young one ?

  8. It is most likely tapeworm which is apparently quite common *gag*

  9. I think TurkeyVulture is the new Buzzkillington. I actually learned something! What the hell?

    jk, thanks TV, I will henceforth be unafraid to go back to eating hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  10. I have an extreme phobia of worms and other legless creatures.

    Give me spiders any day.

  11. Not out of my ass though.

  12. TurkeyVulture, I work in the medical industry and I’ve personally known a couple family members that have had parasites. The parasite supplement Jennifer mentions is not what you’re talking about. It’s not that over-the-counter colon cleansing bullshit. It’s an actual prescribed supplement that kills the parasites before you can finally flush them from the colon. I know about this because we have to prescribe it to hundreds of thousands of American missionaries that deal with worms ALL the time in other countries.

    And no offense, but you’re really talking out of your ass. Medical studies have shown that Pinworm has infected approximately 40 million Americans. Giardia infects approximately 2.5 million Americans each year. It’s VERY common in the United States. Simply ask your doctor next visit.

  13. Thank you, Turkey Vulture! I was seriously creeped out and was going, “Oh my god, could I have….?!”

  14. And then, damn you, RIZDRAVER. D:

  15. Just see how many people on average don’t wash their hands in the bathroom when you’re at work. It will shatter your “America is the cleanest bestest country in the world!1!” dream.

    Now think of the sweaty illegal immigrant that was handling your bacon in that 108 degree Texas slaughter house. : D

  16. I’m going with TurkeyVulture on this one! TV FTW!

  17. I’m amazed nobody made a Jolly Roger joke about the penis skeleton….consider that fault hereby corrected 🙂

  18. Apparently Taylor’s status is true according to one doctor:


    All this talk of diarrhea, boogers, and worms flying out of peoples’ butts has made me very sick to my stomach :/

  19. Chewbacca shagger

    Personally, this is a win… ” what Jennifer saw coming out of her hiney”. I have visions of Jen with her head resting on the seat of the bog to watch her “hiney”. It’s what we all do, isn’t it???

  20. I guess the jury is still out. Will need to do my own research after all 🙁

  21. thanks, now im scared that i have worms on my colon :p

  22. Jennifer is a fucking disgusting pig. That is one of the nastiest things I’ve ever read.

  23. gross,disgusting HIPPO!

  24. Jennifer, thats disgusting… and as far as pooping the sheets, what I would do is probably not drink as much.

  25. RingingInMyHead

    So, am I supposed to be afraid that I might have worms or not?! Don’t leave me in suspense, people!

  26. Ringing, I have one word for you if you’re concerned about worms…


  27. RIZDRAVER, so you “work in the medical industry” as one of those nurse’s assistant’s assistant’s assistant or something and got a degree from University of Phoenix? You don’t know jack shit, and TurkeyVulture is absolutely correct. Colonics are 100% bullshit and parasitic worms in the US are almost completely unheard of. When there are (very rare) cases of parasitic worms in the US, it almost always results from people in consistent contact with animals and animal waste or people traveling outside the US and then coming back to the US already infected with something. As TurkeyVulture explained, what Jennifer saw was not worms but more than likely just some funny looking shit that resulted from the weird supplements she was taking. Colonics are worthless and even dangerous–not only are you destroying your natural flora (good bacteria in your digestive system), but you’re also stripping the mucosal lining in your intestines, throwing off the pH balance/osmolarity in your intestines, AND risking intestinal puncture which can be DEADLY. Anyone claiming that you have years-old shit stuck in your intestines and built up toxins (1) wants your money and (2) is full of shit themselves and has absolutely failed at human physiology. Your body does a fine job of getting rid of its wastes. That’s why you have a liver, kidneys, a bunghole, and a urethra. When people see weird-shaped shit coming out during a colonic, that’s usually the intestinal lining and bits of shit all mixed together (and I would be absolutely horrified at the idea of someone flushing out the natural lining in my intestines). RingingInMyHead: don’t worry about it.

  28. So, where did you get your degree Merc?

  29. I love mercury125’s self-righteous indignation though with nothing new to add.

  30. WOW! The last one made me a little sick. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Jennifer obviously has foot to mouth disease.

  31. stargazeoo: Berkeley.

    KarmaTheDog: Suit yourself, but the latest comments seem to exhibit continued confusion about fear of parasites. Colonics and hollistic/alternative medicine is also admittedly one of my biggest pet peeves and I’m very outspoken against them, particularly because so many people believe so strongly in it and there is absolutely no present scientific research that supports the benefits of such.

  32. When I was a kid I had worms. The doctor gave me some pills and they went away. They gave me a paper about how one gets worms. The ones I had could be contracted from touching things people who had not washed their hands after the bathroom had touched. It said that I could have even breathed in eggs. A couple years later I had serious OCD. :/

  33. I want to “Like” Daniel’s status.

    I also feel like I need to get checked for worms. I’m never breathing in a bathroom again. Thanks, Aucella.

  34. Oh, and TurkeyVulture slightly lessened the chance of me having nightmares about worms.
    Anyone ever done that Turpentine on a raw pork chop experiment? It’s pretty grody. I haven’t eaten pork since 7th grade because of that experiment. Sad day. My mom made some kick awesome pork chops.

  35. mercury- Me too!! In true Berkeley fashion I’m sure you have some peer reviewed article facts about stomach parasites that you can share with the class. That should put people at ease.

  36. What Hunter should really be asking is ‘what would Jesus do?’

  37. Classy!

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  38. Elixabeth, cut it out. You’re annoying. And you failed Inspiration 101.

  39. .

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