Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Catastrophe

previous post: Read ’em & Weep



  1. That was catastic!

  2. she’s a bitch, and this isn’t a win

  3. Haha, i actually thought this was pretty funny.

  4. Those who have outside cats and cry about the fact that they ran away are equal to those with unspayed cats and cry about how often they have to deal with unwanted kittens. It’s their own fault, they just don’t want to recognize it.

    Actually, as I was typing this, I just realized, the cat in question (referred to as a “he”) is probably an un-neutered outside cat. He probably sensed a female cat in heat and ran the hell away.

    I have no sympathy for the owner.

  5. saffer, how did you get your name back?

  6. Oh I do have sympathy for Andrew. That Megan is a right cow, but she still made me lol.

  7. What a cunt!

  8. I feel like shit every day because my dogs WON’T run away. I hate those dogs. Andrew’s a whimp

  9. Cats are the worst. Best thing that’s ever happened to this guy. AND Megan got a free meal…

  10. Andrew, stop being a pussy, I have your cat.

    Mr Wibbles is being very brave and he wants you to know that he misses you very much. I promise to return him once I am finished with him.

    I am currently using him to swing about in small rooms to work out their exact size and employing him to ascertain the danger involved within different levels of curiosity.

  11. I’d like to know this girl, she sounds awesome! 🙂

  12. megan’s a bitch. and her puns were rubbish.

  13. Megan’s a raving bitch, Andrew’s much of a pussy as his cat, this is a lose all the way around.

  14. Sobchak, I had to get a new e-mail, and re-register. Also, it didn’t allow me to put a capital ‘S.’ Those swines! It makes spotting newbies easier now, an unfamiliar screen name and all in lower case.

  15. Megan is a funny bitch, maybe Andrew can “find” his pussy at her house and feel a little bit better. Of course, he will have to duck-tape her mouth shut. And I hope he cums limping back to find kitty on the doorstep.

  16. Megan is a jack-ass.
    Iamamofo’s comment made me think of Portal.

  17. This isn’t funny. And some of the comments here are really bitchy also.. I’ve lost 2 cats in the last year. They were INSIDE cats that some jackasses let out of my house & they never came back. It’s really upsetting & I don’t get why people would laugh at someone who was upset about losing a pet. Get a life.

  18. I would de-friend Megan without a second thought.

  19. That’s not funny. That’s how my family got eaten.

  20. Cat fanatics are such pussies.

  21. Megan is a bitch. The cat soup thing was fine, but then she kept going and going. Why do that? And who says Andrew’s a cat fanatic? Maybe he just loved his one cat. Of course, Andrew could have put a stop to this by just not responding to her immature bullshit, so blame goes all around.

    Now, if Megan is Andrew’s sister, I applaud this for some reason. It sounds like something I’d do to my brother.

  22. Is it me, or is this fake? It seems a little too over the top.

  23. lametothemin, that’s exactly why Andrew is such a pussy. Ignore Megan, let her look like the ass, and move on. I mean, she looks like an ass either way, but if he’d ignored her he’d have come out of this a lot better off.

  24. Nah, see it’s the INSIDE cats that run away that people cry about that I have no sympathy for. Are you shocked that the minute they get that breath of fresh non-cat litter air, that they bolt? Can’t blame them. Then, because they don’t go outside they get lost…or eaten by coyotes (at least in CA that’s what happens to them). Well, the occasional car hit too.
    But come ON Andrew, man the fuck up.

  25. Haha awesomely mean. The meow part reminded me of Super Troopers.

  26. Go Megan! I so wanted to say stuff like that once to someone on my FB when they posted that their pet rabbit had died. I didn’t have the balls, though, as I know them in life. But I’m certain they would have defriended me on FB if I had. I really would not have cared if they did, but they provide plenty of fodder for me to laugh about with others, so I’d miss having them on my feed.


  27. Has the “stop making fun of me” strategy ever worked? Fanatic or not, that guy is a total puss.

  28. You can’t assume it was an outside cat…cats are notorious escape artists. Megan’s a total bitch, and I’d never be friends with anyone who mocked my pain. Oh, and I’d be delighted too if my incontinent, annoying as hell old dog ran off, but she won’t.

  29. @Zoned

    Exactly what I thought of too!
    “Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin’ around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

  30. @Comments

    Hahaha *10 times* “Oh..MEOW!”

  31. This was funny! What’s with all the uppity people here?

  32. I thought Megan was the most insensitive person in the world, until I read Jessi’s comment. My cat ran away; we tried to keep him inside, but he would hide like crazy and then jump out the door. I would run after him, but he was just too fast. He got out one really cold day, and he died of the cold. And it doesn’t help when jerks accuse people whose cats have run away of neglect or not caring enough. Because I could not have cared about my cat any more, and I couldn’t be any sadder over his death. And I don’t care if you think I’m putting too much weight on this post because this is important to me. And I don’t care if you think I put the lame in lamebook. I normally agree with the trolling spirit, but this is just too much for me.

  33. areyouseriousrightnow

    Yous guys need to suck dick right meow. Cats are motherfucking animals and excusee meee but if you were locked inside a house 24/7 wouldnt you want to get the fuck? There are no inside/outside cats, there are just CATS. CATS that like to do CAT shit, like chew up birds and leave them on your front stoop. Or, Chew up giant rats and leave them on your front stoop. Dont socially cripple them assholes.

    TL;DR cats r oppressed

  34. ^This.

    Unless you live in the middle of a city, let your cat outside.

    Cat’s are not stupid, they will come back, they’d miss the warmth and food that is easy to catch if they stayed away too long.

  35. Love your cat all you want, but never forget your cat has only contempt for you.

  36. Megan is a super cunt. Andrew should’ve just deleted her. It could have been funny (not her mocking his pain) but her comments if she would’ve put a little effort into making them witty. As for anyone judging him for being upset his cat is gone, you have NO idea the circumstances under which that cat has disappeared, and that’s all I’m saying. I’m not saying you are insensitive, or whatever, but jokes would be funnier if we had all the information. Not all inside cats want to run away because they’re being kept indoors. In fact, my cat is terrified of outside. I didn’t even want to be this lengthy because now it looks like an argument, ugh. BUT keep in mind that some peoples pets are the world to them and some people only see them as things to pet. Animals are just better than people to others, so Andrew could be feeling very real pain right now, but it was his fault for continuing to enable her. But she’s a super cunt, and I would’ve kicked her ass after comment number two.

  37. another way to keep your cat from running away= depriving it of any and all attention, to the point that its detriment to kitty’s psyche gives it a separation anxiety-type complex and it won’t leave your side. as with children, it works like a charm.

  38. Megan is funny. People calling her a bitch or cunt need to get a sense of humour. Strange that on a humour website there would be so many people who don’t get the joke and are uptight. BTW I am a person that likes cats a lot. However I’m not such a pet fanatic that I react way out of proportion though. I notice one commenter said that “Animals are just better than people” to some, which is plain nuts. Dog/cat fans are crazy. Learn to like people, it will make you better person.

  39. ^^ walterego are you an ass? she IS a total cunt. Andrew isn’t a pet fanatic, he owns the cat and cares for it ya dumb shit. BTW just because you say “people need to get a sense of humour” it doesn’t make you a goddamned authority on funny.

  40. “another way to keep your cat from running away= depriving it of any and all attention, to the point that its detriment to kitty’s psyche gives it a separation anxiety-type complex and it won’t leave your side. as with children, it works like a charm.”

    What absolute fucking bullshit. Cats don’t NEED you, they don’t give a flying fuck if you don’t pay attention to them. They’re solitary animals; not pack animals like dogs who crave love and attention. You clearly don’t know much about felines.

  41. And, Megan is a fucking horrible person. If anyone EVER did that to me after my cat vanished I’d probably punch them in the face the next time I saw them and defriend them straight away. To some people pets don’t mean much; but for others they’re like your child, a part of the family, and it’s highly upsetting when they’re lost/pass away. Insensitive douchebags.

  42. Walter, you can’t just LEARN to like people. You cannot control other people liking you, without being fake and a door mat. And even then. And before you start, no, I’m not referring to myself. But you obviously have no perspective. Someone treating their animal like part of the family isn’t “plain nuts”. My point is that she wasn’t being remotely funny, no matter what she said, or how insensitive it may be. The fact of the matter is that nothing she was was considered funny. It didn’t even have anything to do with the situation.

    I agree with melvinfett

  43. I think the point has kind of been missed here. The cat’s been gone less than a day. Anyone who works in animal rescue knows that is not unusual for cats. I imagine the next day he posted that his cat had returned and he was a happy bunny again. I hope so anyway.

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