limors, I like your attitude. More people here should adopt it.
Sarah’s status is great. IKEA, on the other hand, sucks. I hate everything about that place.
Nick, I’ve often thought similar thoughts – if I died unexpectedly leaving behind incriminating evidence for others to find. No-one who knows me would be surprised, anyway, so let the cards fall where they may…
Eric is obviously Nick’s shovel buddy. Shovel buddy = the person who goes and takes all the incriminating stuff out of your house after you die and buries/burns it before your family sees it
I’m offended by the idea that men only use women for sex. That’s like saying we only ever use a butter knife to spread butter. I have cut meat with a butterknife. And a tomato. I have used a butter knife as a screwdriver. Etc. And I have used women in at least 3 different ways, not just for sex. Men can be very resourceful. Give us some damn credit.
I often use a butter knife for peanut butter and jam sandwiches as well. (Little tip for the other independent-minded gentlemen out there. I always spread the jam first, because it’s easier to lick it off my knife and then I don’t get any jam in my peanut butter jar. Then I just leave the one knife on the counter or in the sink. If you spread the peanut butter first you’ll either have a hell of a time licking it off, or you’ll get some in the jam jar, or you’ll have to leave two dirty butter knives for your mrs to wash. Be considerate.)
I like it how when Sarah jumps out of cupboards at people it’s cute and funny…and when I do it, it’s apparently ‘Breaking and Entering, Assault and Kidnapping With Intent’
Walter is the best of us. While the rest of us ramble about inconsequential nonsense, he provides us with the wisdom of life – How to live in this increasingly confusing world. He breaks it down into little nuggets of knowledge, that we would be wise to take heed of.
Could someone please explain Sarah’s status to me? There must be something glaringly obvious that I’m missing because I don’t understand how in fresh hell it’s funny. When I was reading this post I found her status pretty stupid but you all seem to be bloody loving it. Maybe I just have a crap sense of humour.
Hey guys. I just had to get an account to voice my disgust that nobody sees how bad Sarah’s status is. Pretty sure that’s taken off My Life Is Average (shit site) anyway. Respect, jmdp.
p.s. I like you alordslums.
First!
Ben Dover
Sarah, that’s an adaption of a joke you stole from Russell Howard. Shame on you!
Why is Nick worried about dying??? Doesn’t Red Bull give you wings????
Lol’d at sarah’s status. Yes, my humor threshold is low, it’s how I was able to Lamebook lurk for forever! Hello everyone!
I just tried to “like” Sarah’s status. (sigh) It’s been a long week…
Ooh Sarah, I had to register just to tell you how awesome you are. I don’t care if you stole a joke from someone else.
Ahhhh we all have mates like Larry, Lovable but WILL buttfuck you if they had the chance.
We need people like that in our lives because it warns us to never give up hope because he will always be waiting for you to bend over!
Not all guys who play video games neglect their relationships – maybe April just bores the shit out of him.
limors, I like your attitude. More people here should adopt it.
Sarah’s status is great. IKEA, on the other hand, sucks. I hate everything about that place.
Nick, I’ve often thought similar thoughts – if I died unexpectedly leaving behind incriminating evidence for others to find. No-one who knows me would be surprised, anyway, so let the cards fall where they may…
Sarah’s made me bust out laughing at work!
zing, pheep, phut… That’s my bullshit-o-meter overloading again.
How I long for the days of sparkling and witty originality.
(sigh)
The obsession with IKEA is lost on me too. So-so furniture that costs a lot AND I have to assemble. Talk about getting bent over.
I thought these were pretty damn good. Took patience, but some decent posts finally came. Nick definitely made me lol. Larry too.
NICK I LOVE YOU!!! YOU ROCK!!!!
Better a thumb up your arse than a fist, covered in barbed-wire, ungreased.
Eric is obviously Nick’s shovel buddy. Shovel buddy = the person who goes and takes all the incriminating stuff out of your house after you die and buries/burns it before your family sees it
spunky, is that what you call it? Love it. Thanks for that. I must get one organised.
I need one too Word.
Craig, I could give you a thumb you’d enjoy 😉
We need a buddy for all things in life – drinking, fucking, alibis, etc. Now we need one in death.
Spot on Shannon, spot on.
It doesn’t really bother me what people think of me after I’m dead. It’s not like I’ll know if everyone’s gossiping about me.
I love Larry, he wins in my book! Two thumbs up!
I think I remember reading Sarah’s on MLIA, the ‘Today’ gave it away.
I’d be all right with my parents coming over and finding my porn after I die. Sure, I’d be dead, but at least they’d stop calling me gay.
Wow, a whole post with no weird-ass names.
@27 That’s because it’s a ‘win’ post.
I’m offended by the idea that men only use women for sex. That’s like saying we only ever use a butter knife to spread butter. I have cut meat with a butterknife. And a tomato. I have used a butter knife as a screwdriver. Etc. And I have used women in at least 3 different ways, not just for sex. Men can be very resourceful. Give us some damn credit.
I often use a butter knife for peanut butter and jam sandwiches as well. (Little tip for the other independent-minded gentlemen out there. I always spread the jam first, because it’s easier to lick it off my knife and then I don’t get any jam in my peanut butter jar. Then I just leave the one knife on the counter or in the sink. If you spread the peanut butter first you’ll either have a hell of a time licking it off, or you’ll get some in the jam jar, or you’ll have to leave two dirty butter knives for your mrs to wash. Be considerate.)
I like it how when Sarah jumps out of cupboards at people it’s cute and funny…and when I do it, it’s apparently ‘Breaking and Entering, Assault and Kidnapping With Intent’
That was just soo funny. Doesn’t matter if it was stolen.
walter, that is some grade a advice you have there.
Walter is the best of us. While the rest of us ramble about inconsequential nonsense, he provides us with the wisdom of life – How to live in this increasingly confusing world. He breaks it down into little nuggets of knowledge, that we would be wise to take heed of.
Someday, I would like to buy him a beer.
i’d like to buy agnes a few pina coladas and a funnel.
Way…. Hands up for walter.
Hey just thought of something… would a beer off soup be considered a soup beer?
I would very much like a soup beer too! sounds awfully nice.
Could someone please explain Sarah’s status to me? There must be something glaringly obvious that I’m missing because I don’t understand how in fresh hell it’s funny. When I was reading this post I found her status pretty stupid but you all seem to be bloody loving it. Maybe I just have a crap sense of humour.
There’s not much to explain, jmdp. You’ve read/seen ‘The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe”, yes?
Yup. Ok then. As soon as I read it I thought everyone would be pissed at how lame it was, but apparently not.
Hey guys. I just had to get an account to voice my disgust that nobody sees how bad Sarah’s status is. Pretty sure that’s taken off My Life Is Average (shit site) anyway. Respect, jmdp.
p.s. I like you alordslums.
Oh be quiet Agnes. I told you to stop interfering with my Internet friends.
i <3 agnes