Saturday, April 30, 2011

Attack on Zach

previous post: Royal Pains



  1. Those updates are lame in and of themselves. Every time somebody posts I remind them that we would’ve fucking loved Xbox and cell phones as kids and to not fucking deny it.

  2. wow.. being all sentimental about the “good old days” on facebook is kinda ironic by itself, init?
    + the most awesome thing is, 90% of my fb-friends are in at least one of those “when i was young..” groups… the average age of my fb-friends is 17…

  3. suspecting your neighbours of being pedos and thinking water from a waterhose is not safe to drink is kind of paranoid.

  4. wow phillip talk about havin your panties up your crack. i remember bike races around the block, street hockey games, who could climb up the tree the highest, although i did have to come back at 7 because my dad’s a tightass. then i moved away for 6 months then came back and everybody was inside playing gamecube.

  5. @Roydawgg, thanks for sharing, now fuck off and go climb a tree, but before that, friendly Mr Johnson from next door called and wants you to pop over and watch some gladiator movies and wrestle.

  6. @Roydawgg, he also asked if you could bring the vegetable oil like last time.

  7. The moment I read this I went on to Facebook and one of my friends had posted this (literally seconds before I logged on) -_-.

  8. News flash: I just found out said friend is a friend of Philip.

  9. Phil is a douche.

  10. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I HATE all reposted status updates. Especially when they say dumb shit like “only 5% of you will repost this”.

  11. yes, or when they say stuff like Lets find a cure to cancer. Repost this….. Like a post is going to help find a cure… morons ¬¬

  12. Nothing says “I care” like taking 10 seconds to copy and paste an error-riddled paragraph about how much we need to cure cancer, end child abuse, or finally put an end to the Fast & Furious series.

  13. My curfew was the sunset, my mom didn’t send me a telegram, she rang the cowbell. I played outside with my 19 brothers and sisters, not those heathen Presbyterians. If I didn’t slaughter my own chicken, then I didn’t eat. Penicillin didn’t exist, but you COULD get smallpox and die. I rode a horse without a saddle, getting tetanus (hehe, anus) was ok, & the neighbors gave a damn when they weren’t shoving a tomahawk up your ass. Repost if you drank from a suspect well and survived.

  14. soup. that was amazing.

    I make an LB account just to comment on how FANTASTIC that comment was -I was literally on a lollercoaster (and I’ve barely even lolerskated) in years- and while I’m busy signing into hotmail and activating my account some jerkwad goes and firsts me.

  16. Soup ftw!

  17. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulfuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

    And you try telling the young people today that, and they won’t believe you.

  18. @un1k3n Luxury! 🙂

  19. I don’t like those stupid “repost this to cure cancer” posts. It’s not going to cure cancer is it, you morons? But Phil is still a douche.

  20. The classically irritating chain posts may be annoying, but Philip being such a tool pissed me off even more.

  21. Hmm. When I was a teen there was a boy about 7 or 8 named Philip who lived on my street. One day when I was walking home from band practice I saw Philip sprawled out in the middle of the sidewalk with his bike strewn a few meters away. He was not wearing a helmet. I gave him a couple slaps but he didn’t come to. I considered calling his parents but instead I dragged him into a gangway and buttraped him.

  22. I made my bike helmet out of Playdoh…

    But seriously, I love the smell of that shit.

  23. I don’t think Zach means a garden hose…

  24. Phillip is a perfect representation of his generation: mouthy, stupid, lazy and essentially useless.

  25. Sounds like Bin Laden drank from an unsafe garden hose.

  26. Yeah, they already translated that shit. I figured it’d pop on here.
    Also, Ben

  27. Actually I thought Phil’s response was decent and hey, somebody had to do it.
    This nostalgic crap is showing up in my newsfeed in English and Polish and I’m getting it from both sides. Frankly I’m happy about a lot of our advances.

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