@HeSaidWhat – Last week I had to buy a double cheeseburger + onion rings for an absolutely hideous prostitute. Damn inflation. Seems like you got out of the business too early.
You know, you show one strung out whore your pegina, and they have to tell the whole world. “Ohh, I’m sick now that I’m off the horse and I really miss the taste of cockburgers. On the subject of food, Soup has a sausage beef combo thing going on with his dangly bits”. The answer to your addiction will not be found in my loins.
And I’m sorry, but the proposal is off the table. I found a wonderful woman who has a vagenis and we are inseparable. Literally. It’s like a whole lattice work thing going on down there.
That is just fine. You seemed a little obsessed with my moobs as it was. Not to mention your sausage beef combo looked more like a chesse roll-up with a side of chessey fiesta potato.
@ teo: I said I was an ex heroin junkie, doesn’t mean I quit everything. Oh and by the way, the onion rings were cold. You owe me!
soup, this reminds me of the time i had metasex for the first time.
it was back in ’07 – we were having quite a mild winter over here in the uk – that i met annie. annie was a lovely girl: long orange hair, confident. a kind of radiant glow emanated from her. she had poise and pizzazz by the bucketful. you’d never guess that she’d suffered from a terrible condition throughout her life.
one night whilst we were washing up after my famous toad-in-the-hole, she broke down and confessed to me about her ailment. its name was ‘clawovula’. i’ll never forget the way my tongue rolled around that word, saying it for the first time.
clawovula sufferers have a small talon, or ‘claw’ like growth at the back of the cervix which becomes unsheathed, as it were, when the sufferer is sexually aroused. annie had never had sex because of the stigma involved; also, for fear that she might hurt a loved one.
i told annie to get her gun, that any form of disfigurement/sexual perversion was right up my street.
in the kitchen, in the bath, atop the coal-scuttle – we made love throughout that moonless january night.
and let me tell you, soup. you’ve NEVER experienced real sex unless you’ve had your urethra penetrated by a claw whilst penetrating a vagina.
@ WOG, maybe they have a sinister desire to display to the friends of their offspring that said offspring has been busted? I wouldn’t know, my mother s not on facebook, thankfully.
But seriously guys? There are ways of blocking people from seeing certain things on your profile. Not that hard.
HeSaidWhat, that’s noble of you to come clean like that. Don’t worry, nobody will think any less of you. Single fathers are pathetic dude.
@HeSaidWhat – Last week I had to buy a double cheeseburger + onion rings for an absolutely hideous prostitute. Damn inflation. Seems like you got out of the business too early.
You know, you show one strung out whore your pegina, and they have to tell the whole world. “Ohh, I’m sick now that I’m off the horse and I really miss the taste of cockburgers. On the subject of food, Soup has a sausage beef combo thing going on with his dangly bits”. The answer to your addiction will not be found in my loins.
And I’m sorry, but the proposal is off the table. I found a wonderful woman who has a vagenis and we are inseparable. Literally. It’s like a whole lattice work thing going on down there.
Soup, never say inseperable. It reminds me of the human centipede.
God damnit, Soup, I love you.
That is just fine. You seemed a little obsessed with my moobs as it was. Not to mention your sausage beef combo looked more like a chesse roll-up with a side of chessey fiesta potato.
@ teo: I said I was an ex heroin junkie, doesn’t mean I quit everything. Oh and by the way, the onion rings were cold. You owe me!
soup, this reminds me of the time i had metasex for the first time.
it was back in ’07 – we were having quite a mild winter over here in the uk – that i met annie. annie was a lovely girl: long orange hair, confident. a kind of radiant glow emanated from her. she had poise and pizzazz by the bucketful. you’d never guess that she’d suffered from a terrible condition throughout her life.
one night whilst we were washing up after my famous toad-in-the-hole, she broke down and confessed to me about her ailment. its name was ‘clawovula’. i’ll never forget the way my tongue rolled around that word, saying it for the first time.
clawovula sufferers have a small talon, or ‘claw’ like growth at the back of the cervix which becomes unsheathed, as it were, when the sufferer is sexually aroused. annie had never had sex because of the stigma involved; also, for fear that she might hurt a loved one.
i told annie to get her gun, that any form of disfigurement/sexual perversion was right up my street.
in the kitchen, in the bath, atop the coal-scuttle – we made love throughout that moonless january night.
and let me tell you, soup. you’ve NEVER experienced real sex unless you’ve had your urethra penetrated by a claw whilst penetrating a vagina.
@alordslums: I want to try your famous toad-in-the-hole one of these days, you sound like the one for me!
Ow
BOOOOOOOOOO!!!
alord….you win. Everything. wtf did I just read….
And Lamebook sensors my comments.
WOW you guys are hilarious, where the hell do you come up with this.
Fortunately we have life experiences to go off of.
Dear Moms,
You don’t need to sign off with “mom” every time you leave a message. Your children know your name. WOG.
@ WOG, maybe they have a sinister desire to display to the friends of their offspring that said offspring has been busted? I wouldn’t know, my mother s not on facebook, thankfully.
But seriously guys? There are ways of blocking people from seeing certain things on your profile. Not that hard.