Thursday, May 17, 2012

I Hate Grandpa Joe…

previous post: The Discovery



  1. Finally, a Facebook post that I completely, whole heartedly agree with.

  2. This one takes Willy Wonka very seriously.

  3. I thought he was just using the idea of selling the gobbstopper as a threat to make Wonka change his mind. Hmmm…

  4. oh man, i thought i was the only one who noticed what a lazy asshole this guy was. he hasnt walked in years, and then all of a sudden a free trip comes up and he can run and jump? he breaks the rules and gets disqualified (completely reasonably) and then wants to sell top secret info to the enemy?? what a douche bag.

  5. Very convincing points. If I cared.

  6. Huh. Never gave that a thought before but it sounds about right. Consider my mind blown & my childhood ruined.

  7. Yeah I hated it when my Grandpa’s willy went all wonky in my chocloate factory too.

    That’s my second choclate factory line of the week but the fisrt involving my grandads cock, so I think you should let me off…

  8. crustylovelips

    ^ Remember that time you opened your legs and the suction from your gaping hole swallowed up a sheep? Leaving nothing but a furry, milky-brown pulsating sphincter waiting for it’s next victim. No wonder your G’pa couldn’t keep it up.

  9. you’re a nasty girl, crusty…keep it up

  10. crusty Come baaaaack! You’re having another flashback to your missus shitting out the young un!

  11. crustylovelips

    Jokes on you – babies come out of the vagina.

    However, had my son been intended as a period – he would have been a period and I wouldn’t have run out of black pudding.

    It’s not my fault if you’re slacker than a water slide who can’t satisfy an old man on their death bed.

  12. “…slacker than a water slide who can’t satisfy an old man on their death bed.”

    what does that mean, please?
    what old man on his death bed couldn’t be satisfied by a goddamn water slide?

  13. You snatched at it didn’t you? You’re better than that and you know it. You’re just another notch on my Internet Big Man bed post now…

    How can you expect to raise young Crustypissflaps JR up to be a respectable paradigm of manhood if you get rattled so easily? He’ll end up pitying you and asking ‘Mummy why is Daddy such a dejected cumfaced half man’

  14. Sum ppl do my nut in

    Actually, in the first movie it is Charlie who asks Grandpa Joe to go with him not Grandpa Joe deciding he should go.

  15. crustylovelips

    Try to pleasure yourself by inserting your penis into the opening of a water slide. It wouldn’t work. Imamofo’s rectum is similar to a water slide in that it has a very big diameter and that it also very moist 95% of the time. Except on a hot sunny day when he inevitably dries out and the flies come in to feed on the clinkers that he hasn’t managed to pick free and chew on.

    It’s nice that you pretend you have a bed that you own and not one that you have forced yourself into.

  16. Oh stop it you guys, you’re turning me on

  17. He’s right though curly, my ringer has such a wide diameter that I often rent it out as a function room.

    Just recently it was employed as a maternity delivery suite hired by a fuckwit not a million miles away from here… just another case of me spitting more shite out into the world.

  18. ^he does seem to have an unnervingly intimate knowledge of your crevice.

  19. It’s because I gave him the grand tour before he decided to plump for it.

  20. justbeingmiley

    all this ass talk is making my rosebud twitch.

  21. crustylovelips

    Just ask Mofo as I’m sure he’d be delighted to help you blossom.

  22. crustylovelips

    And the only thing it could be hired for is anal sex at a rate of 50p an hour…like a rent boy.

  23. 50p an hour?
    when the fuck do you live? In the time of Dickens?

  24. crustylovelips

    You saying you’d pay him any more?

  25. the dirt-box or the rent-boy?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.