Monday, April 27, 2020
Lashing Out
THEORY OF THE DAY: Jack-in-the-box toys are meant to train kids to become adults who don’t jump in fear when the toaster pops your bread up. It didn’t work, right? Does everyone jump when the toaster pops your bread up? Someone needs to invent a toaster that silently pops, so we can feel tough while eating a Toaster Strudel.
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Right so in the few seconds it takes for a sneeze to build up you couldn’t take them off your eyelashes? Dumb bitch.