Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Meet Ryan

previous post: Grand Slam



  1. “I may look like Justin Bieber o the outside, but my mentality is a combo of lil wayne and eminem.” A middle schooler acting ghetto; sounds like a nightmare.

  2. Sounds like my ex… minus 2.5in.

  3. My plan backfired on me… I meant to say “after you remove 2.5in”.

  4. What a faggot.

  5. I’d let him date my sister.

  6. What a player eh? Already two notches on his bedpost, and only one of them from a mental hospital (or was she visiting him?)

  7. Überdouches, meet your king.

  8. This dude needs to be broken into quarters. Split up the middle by a monster dong, then broken over someone’s knee.

  9. I wonder if he’s a used dildo.

  10. Fake you, Ryan!

  11. littlemissgenius

    Does Ryan not know that an “About me” section is not the place to reveal your weird sexual hang ups, gay encounters, and questionable hook ups?

  12. Good Lord, where do I begin with this post? It’s like an angst rollercoaster.

  13. Sorry dude, not interested. I prefer Lil Wayne on the outside, Bieber on the inside.

  14. If you read Ryan’s story really closely, there are signs that he might be troubled.

  15. “Angst rollercoaster” – I like that one, tommyray.

    Almost 5’10” and he’s only 120 lbs? Holy shit, meth much?

  16. Again with the fake shit.

  17. “I have been inline speed skating since I was 12 years old.”

    Whooptie fucking doo. You’re 14 now.

  18. why is this even here?

    spending this much effort denying you are homosexual = gay

  19. He is hiding in a closet that has a glass door, everyone knows he is in there!

  20. I live in Santa Barbara. I should find this guy and horribly murder him.

  21. pretty sure that ryan stole this from the capn’s blog.
    I swear every other post is just like this…

  22. The Asian chick has no wrinkles? My they do age well.

  23. ^Like a pear, apparently.

  24. He started and ended well:
    “My name is Ryan. I enjoy downhill skiing and longboarding.”

    Fuck knows what happened in the middle: drug-fuelled fantasy ramblings or frape?

  25. Oh Ryan. You had me at “My name is Ryan.” There was no need to further charm me with your exploits.

  26. Wow Ryan, TMI & teel deer all in one post.

  27. This guy is the Douchenator

  28. Thuthukile Urania Mkhize

    He probably co-wrote Fifty Shades of Grey

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