Friday, March 25, 2011

More Picturesque Wins

previous post: Watch What You Watch



  1. H looks more like a smurf.

  2. *He

  3. And his house is a fucking tip.

  4. That comparison to Peeps is unkind to my favorite Easter candy: Peeps!

  5. That suit would only work if he was applying to work at Express itself. And how much less succinct could he be?

    “My shirt? Express. Expensive. Very nice.
    My pants? Express. A-very expensive. Very nice, you like?
    My socks? Express. Not cheap. Niiice.
    My tie? $50 at Express. I got deal!
    Did I mention belt? Also express. Very expensive.
    You like, bitch?”

  6. I forgot to mention that in my head he sounded like Borat.

  7. Congratulations James, your application to be King of the Douches has been accepted. We will be interviewing applicants this week…

  8. Larry is right. James is looking tres ghettois. Is he interviewing to be some sort of pimp’s accountant?

  9. James was conned.

  10. I really hope 3 things…

    1. This was between Memorial Day and Labor Day of last year.
    2. He realizes nothing makes a fat guy look fatter, than wearing a solid, shiny, brightly colored, slim-fit shirt.
    3. This finally convinces Diddy to cancel his “white party”.

  11. He’s like 16, right? First job? Why else would someone take a photo pre-interview? (We won’t get into why anyone would wear that outfit – ever.)

  12. Hehe @ Iva Tynee Weenar

  13. Haha I actually really like his outfit. It’s spiffy!

  14. CommentsAtLarge

    Well James, if your get-up doesn’t get you that job, maybe your stellar spelling will. Jesus man, just because you CAN buy something doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

  15. He’s trying to dress nice but is your average fat american slob.

  16. Don Johnson called…he wants his look back.

  17. is that a dog hiding in the back right hand corner of his dump of a house?

  18. Can someone explain the last one? I get the Iva Tynee Weiner part (nice). But I don’t shop at Safeway so I don’t understand what that part of the receipt is usually supposed to say, considering it says “items sold: 0” (also wtf).

  19. @oilersfan

    That’s where your name goes usually. You apply for a membership and your name goes in that spot so that they can track your spending habits.

    It’s a good thing I only by condoms and coke from Safeway…the soda not the drug. My dealer delivers.

  20. But did the untidy, fashion-backward, chubby fuck get the job?

  21. The house is fine ffs, I’ve seen much trashier small homes. It’s not confirmed he’s American. I’ve seen fatasses in all countries, except poor Ethiopa. In fact, I think I saw one in my Anatomy class as a guest speaker, just sort of hanging around.

    The suit looks terrible and tasteless, and if he wanted to hide his obesity, everyone knows black is slimming, and with bright colours, you may as well put a flashing sign on your head to announce your bad image.

  22. MsBuzzkillington

    That “thing” on his shoulder is a jacket. Glad he pointed that out or I would have been really confused.

    They saw that dude coming from a mile away.

  23. So can everyone else now

  24. Anatomy ftw Keona.

  25. is that a dog or not?!

  26. You can see past that blue slap in the face?

  27. Yes, of course it’s a dog, you blind fuck.

  28. my immediate thought for james was, more, “acne smurf goes to the prom.” but peeps are awful, so larry still wins

  29. I see James as gay.

  30. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Sad thing is I shop at Express and I have seen that shirt and another God-awful lime green one. Being that I am not colorblind I tossed the shit in the back of the stand and picked darker colors. The brightest color I got was red.

  31. Thanks lexluther!

  32. @27 im not blind, im just using a mobile phone atm and the pic isnt all that big ok

  33. I didn’t notice the dog either noodles, now I’m starting to notice everything else in the background. Bad, bad decor. I hate blinds, way too minimalist.

    Keona, not becuase he’s fat, but I bet you $100 that he’s either American (or at least Canadian). Just a feeling.

  34. That poor, poor dog. Idiot owner, trashy place to live, and a couch that probably still smells like grandma. What a waste of money: he could have picked that outfit up at Wally World for 1/4 the price. (Looks like he did, actually.)

  35. Canadians being Northern Americans in denial? Same bad taste, less fat?

    Well. He *might* be Canadian. I once knew someone who looked kinda like that and would find this “dress code” appropriate for an interview.
    I don’t know him anymore.

  36. shit hole house= Priceless

  37. Express is for girls.

  38. Stop making fun of the dirty house. Its not smurf boys fault that she stopped cleaning up after his lazy ass 10 years ago.

  39. She = his mommy

  40. stop sticking up for him, smurfkiller. you’re a damn dirty smurf sympathizer, you are

  41. Agree with whoever said that he’s probably gay. Also the decor of the house suggests that he’s probably living with family.

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