Thursday, August 19, 2010

Snappy Snaps

previous post: Spaced Out



  1. Let me attempt to try here. I am a black guy and lamebook posts a lot of stereotypical shit here, I fit a lot of the stereotypes e.g dick size :), watermelon, waffles, fried chicken etc.
    But I don’t fit a lot of the others. I don’t get bothered by anything anybody thinks about black people, I simply “do me”. My advice to you is to be yourself, as corny as that sounds, do what YOU want to do don’t base your life on the shit you see around you. You have to remember all that shit was designed specifically to fuck with you (look up Marketing and Advertising). I don’t mean this in a bad way, but “Grow a brain” and learn to live your own life. I will stop now, I hate giving advice, I just hope you got something from this.

  2. Some people, like myself, are fat because we’re lazy. At my healthiest, I was running six miles a day (on an elliptical, yes, but I’ve got knee issues unrelated to my fatness), doing yoga and lifting light weights at least 3-4 times a week – not to mention eating super healthy. The smallest size I ever reached was a US size 12 (I was aiming for 8-10). Then I gave up.

    Some people, like my friend Christina at work, are fat for other reasons. She eats healthy and runs two miles a day, but is still a US size 24. And she gets mocked while exercising.

    There are many different reasons for being overweight, some are funny, some are not.

    I wouldn’t object to the picture at all if it were an overweight girl (by the way, some stated earlier that the girl in the picture was overweight but not obese – that’s just ridiculous, she’s clearly obese) talking about how sexy she looked in an ill fitting outfit. This, however, was not the case. It was just a picture of a fat girl in a sweatshirt asking what she should do with her hair.

    Unfunny. And yes, I do believe that all unfunny content should be removed from this site. Because it’s a humor (humour if you’re of a certain persuasion) site.

  3. #143 for the FATALITY!

    Epic Win!

  4. Are you single? I will have your children if so.

  5. Where is this #2 about a fat girl? I feel like I’m missing out!

  6. Since you fit most of the stereotypes, does that mean you would smash that woman in the second picture?

  7. No way, defective. Buns is as gentle as a lamb, but I love, love, love some of his other stereotypes.

    Call me, Buns, call me.

  8. @word, “to smash” is an expression meaning “to have intercourse with”. I though you would have known that already what with the sexual innuendo you supposedly put into *every* post, and all.


    Apologies if you already knew that.

  9. Jessi, yes, I have heard it used in the sexual way. It’s an unpleasant term, but there are many others just as bad… “I’m gonna chop her up” is a particularly nasty one that springs to mind.

    In this instance, though, I misinterpreted it. That’s the trick, isn’t it? – understanding what anonymous people from all over are saying. Every person here gets bamboozled on occasion.

    Therefore, no apology necessary, but I will apologise to defective, for not getting his drift.

    Have a good one.

  10. You people are the whiniest bastards ever. First of all, everyone feeds live rats to their snakes… it’s how they do it in the wild. Second of all, if you whining fatties hadn’t complained about the girl picture, I could be getting lulz right now. Go DIAF.

  11. avoiding all the sniping and whining, i’d just like to posit a simple, objective truth that i think really gets straight to the meat of the issue here.

    i’d like to think if we could all accept the essential truth of it, then we could build an ethical system upon it – flesh it out with our own actions and words, and generally live according to that axiom, an axiom which, if accepted, will remove all need to be querulous, plaintive, offensive, aggravating.

    that axiom is, that in any given situation (not counting either highly unlikely/intensely comical possibilities, ie falling off a skyscraper/doing a belly flop), IT IS BETTER TO BE SLIM THAN FAT.

    this sentiment holds true for person a – (partial), and person b – (observer).

    if we could all agree on this, then fat people would never be offended by any taunt directed their way, rather merely accepting it as status quo/statement of fact. but here’s the best bit – i think the truth is so self-evident and obvious that it will brook expression – simply put, people won’t feel the need to mock fat people any more.

  12. Yes that is what I meant Jessi. Word I have never heard that one before. I’m not so sure I’m going to use that one either.I have heard these before though:

    -I smashes that!
    -I knocked the brakes of of it.
    -I knocked the bottom out of it.
    -I slaughtered that pussy.(Now that I think about it, I have word.)
    -I reamed her a new one.

    The list goes on and on.

  13. smashed*

  14. off of it*

  15. siobhan327, you dumb fat cunt….. I’m sorry for putting the “CHEESECAKE” anywhere near my reference to irony….
    You were making fun of another poster, asking if he was retarded, making fun of me, and my “small words”, saying that people in here are too simple to understand your complex thought process, YET, you can’t even form a fucking simple sentence!
    “I won’t mock you if wasn’t a choice” You are missing a word here retard!!!
    You are on a fucking website that MAKES FUN OF PEOPLE!!!! Get off your motherfucking soapbox, because the structural integrity of it is compromised due to you being morbidly obese! (big enough words for ya fatty?)
    “keep working at those reading comprehensions skills.”
    My reading skills are fine! Methinks your fat fingers are the problem… Maybe consider a new keyboard, one designed for people like you, with XXXL size bodies…?
    All of you fat fuckers on here crying your eyes out over your Krispy Kreme donuts need to take a step back, and look at yourselves!
    YOU chose to come to a site, that deals with humourous pics/posts/updates of people on Facebook! YOU seem to find it funny, when blacks, asians, dumb, skinny, drunk, disabled people are poked fun at on here, but if the jokes are about you, well, that ain’t funny! Cheesecake

    You are so fucking clueless, totally missing my sarcasm AND IRONY!
    For the record fat ass, my balls have dropped…And, I can see my genitals too! Jealous?
    BTW defectiveuser, she is obviously single, hasn’t left her home in 5 years (can’t fit through the door) and if you want to have children with her, good luck lift her gunt, and numerous belly rolls to get anywhere near her vagina… I’d suggest sliding it in one of her arm folds…

  16. Holy shit, these comments actually got me to sign up for this website. Seriously WTF? I’ve lurked here for a long time and it saddens me that as of recent its turning into youtube, with fucking trolls or haters on every thread. This website was about taking the piss and being funny, and i’ve always appreciated some of the comments sections with some deep or funny conversation, this is just bullshit.
    Apologies rant over, pleasure to be finally signed up, g’day.

  17. Looks like I hit a nerve.

  18. “You wouldn’t understand my works. You wouldn’t have the faintest idea of what they were about. You wouldn’t appreciate the points of reference. You’re way behind. All of you. There’s no point in sending you my works. You’d be lost. It’s nothing to do with a question of intelligence. It’s a way of being able to look at the world. It’s a question of how far you can operate on things and not in things. I mean it’s a question of your capacity to ally the two, to relate the two, to balance the two. To see, to be able to see! I’m the one who can see. That’s why I can write my critical works. Might do you good…have a look at them…see how certain people can view…things…how certain people can maintain…intellectual equilibrium. Intellectual equilibrium. You’re just objects. You just…move about. I can observe it. I can see what you do. It’s the same as I do. But you’re lost in it. You won’t get me being…I won’t be lost in it.”

  19. How about we all just chill out?

    If you want to be fat, be fat. If you want to be thin, be thin. Now let’s all have a beer or two and relax.

  20. Cheesecake

  21. iddjit? If you hate cheesecake so much, then don’t eat it. But everyone else who does like cheesecake has every right to eat as much of it as they want.

  22. Hahahaha!!!
    I love checking back here to see what fatty is going to chime in…
    siobhan327, don’t worry darling, you didn’t hit a nerve… I’m not as fat as you, have a great family, and enjoy a good laugh now and then!
    I found this website by accident, and have checked out the sister sites (People of Walmart and Regretsy) both sites that seem to generate ALL of their traffic by poking fun at people, and trying to make them laugh….
    Now when the Politically Correct Police troll here, and start telling me what is funny, and what is not funny, I say to myself “self, why is this self righteous fatty trying to tell me that this isn’t funny, even though I do find it somewhat funny?”
    You’re lame arguments defending the “rights” of fatties to be fatties are retarded, just like your ironic statements about intelligence…. You can’t knock someone for being stupid, or using small words, and then just plain forget how to construct a simple sentence….
    I will continue to “troll” this site, and others like it, championing the rights of simple minded people who DO find fat people, styrofoam shaped like penises, or ebonics humour FUNNY….
    I’m going to go for a run now, because I am more concerned with my health, than protecting the feelings of fatties….

    P.S I went to Mandarin (Chinese Buffet) last night, and spoke with a woman from England who was taking pictures of the buffet tables… I asked if she was taking pics to make her friends jealous, and she said no, she was taking pics to show her friends and family back home the amount of food available for $20…. There were all shapes and sizes of people there, but let me tell you, the fatties were there in force, and it was sickening to see how large their plates were (you can go back for 2nd’s, 3rd’s, etc…) and they did! The salad table seemed invisible to them (much like their genitals) so please stop the lies, you gunt can’t lie, and you know, and I know that you eat enough calories for 2-3 large men, so wire that jaw shut, as that is probably the only way you will get into a pair of pants less than XXXXL…..

  23. I’m actually laughing at how hilariously retarded and insufferably smug you are. I’m anorexic my dear, and I therefore no longer eat. It’s people who talk like you who made me this way. But quite frankly, you are too unintelligent for me to even spit upon, let alone speak to. Good day to you, sir.

  24. OMG! I have Down’s Syndrome? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
    iddjit – Keep up the good work.
    Shivone – Yawn.
    lamego – how very noble of you, working with greedy fat bastards. And thank you, I will go and fuck myself now I have your blessing.

  25. @ thequeen. You can’t pin your delusions on iddjit. If you don’t eat at all, that’s *your* fault. But of course, you would be forgiven if you had Down’s Syndrome.

  26. No, I’m done with this argument. You people are a waste of my time and the world’s precious oxygen. I’m going to the other thread where we’re having a sandwiches-drugs-and-sex party. Bye.

  27. Ah, so now you’re eating? What a fake anorexic. I’m disappointed.

  28. Well iddjit, for somebody who likes to take humor so seriously, you seem to be having a bit of a problem with my comment. Of course being the hypocritical doughnut puncher that you are, it doesn’t surprise me. In fact, if you were as in tune to humor as you say you are, you would realize that there was nothing humorous about photo number two. If she was sporting a mullet (and asking about her hair), wearing a tube top, or saying she looked damn sexy; I would understand why the picture was here. That is all that most of us were saying. It sound like to me that siobhan throughly owning your ass has filled you with enough zealous hatred that your testicles have actually have actually retracted all the way to your tonsils. Though I am sure,as you have already promulgated, you aare used to balls being in your mouth.

    Just saying, and I bid you good day sire.

  29. Oh and if it makes you feel any better, you are more than welcome to bash my grammar after you remove those balls from your mouth.

  30. defective,

    siobhan didn’t prove any point. she just launched into a (pretty fair) ad hominem against a few posters’ spelling and comprehension skills. if that’s ‘epic win’, and thoroughly owning’ – fair enough.

    her argument didn’t really address the point. no-one’s addressed my argument. possibly because it’s a slightly different prospect, debating with me, to shooting down a few bored kids on their school holidays who’ve been at the red skittles.

    also – to each his own. i found the picture funny, and i find fat people funny. diff’rent strokes and all that.

    i’ll leave you with a few words of wisdom defective, because i like you, deep down.

    ‘a friend to many is a friend to none.’

    don’t spread yourself so thin, brother.

  31. Well spoken alord, I will take that advice in future reference. I would stick around and address your point but I have to go see an ill family member. I will be in later tonight. Good day and see you when I have more than two hours of sleep.(Hence the shitty reply above.)

  32. ..oh, so the alord/defective show is over?

  33. mass – you’re almost as bad as anon – every other comment you seem to make these days is a little one-line snipey-snipe at me. i’m not sure how interesting that is for other people to read. but as long as it makes you happy; that’s the main thing. 🙂

  34. Thanks dude.. but you don’t really care how interesting stuff is to read…

  35. good one.

  36. Goodnight

  37. “Well iddjit, for somebody who likes to take humor so seriously, you seem to be having a bit of a problem with my comment”

    I just think fatties need to concentrate more on watching what they eat, instead of worrying about people laughing at them (we are)

    The pig in pic #2 looks like an uglier version of Chris Farley. You may not have found it funny, but others did…
    I wasn’t bashing ANYONE’S grammar until the fatty piped up about how stupid people were with her broken engrish…. I was pointing out the irony in it…. I doubt that you actually wanted to have children with her, but I thought if I poked fun at the physical impossibility of impregnating her, unless a she has a forklift and winch in her bedroom to hold her gunt folds up while your tiny dick pushes through her cheese….

    I can appreciate “gay humour”, IF its funny, but I suspect your thoughts of my mouth and balls are pure fantasy of something that can never be my internetting friend…. Nothing against you gays, its just not my bag baby….

    So if I was “p0wned” or received a “fatality” for her “epic win”, so be it…. Maybe I missed it?
    If you don’t think fatties are funny, thats fine, but don’t tell me that they aren’t funny, because many times they are….

    How would you like it if I trolled the ballplay/deepthroat fattie sites that you went to, and told you that fat gay men aren’t sexy? I know thats your preference, and what right do I have to deprive you of rubbing one out to big hairy fat dudes?

    Feel free to comment on my balls (I know you are thinking of them) and IF you are nice, I may be able to email you some pics of them….

  38. Okay I have to cut in again. iddjit, you are making yourself out to be a victim. All we care about is the horrible, horrible things you’ve said about people you don’t even know. We can’t change your opinion on overweight people, but this site is for humor, not blatant insults toward people. You were just trying to hurt peoples’ feelings with your inaccurate stereotypes and filthy ad hominem. Yeah, I insulted you a few times, but only in self-defense. The stuff you said is absolutely sick. What, do you burn crosses in fat peoples’ front lawns? Take your disgusting hatred elsewhere.

    Just chill. If you don’t like fat people, fine. But while you’re here, if you don’t want to get flamed, you keep your fucking mouth shut.

  39. No, I don’t think he his making himself out to be a victim by any means. Actually I think he enjoyed the stuff my drug addled brain was producing at the time. (I am losing someone very dear to me and they have given me a very powerful sedative.) I’m surprised he was able to pull something out of that incoherent babble.

    As far as trying to hurt somebody, I don’t think that is anybody’s mission in here. “Our mission” Is to laugh at the expense of others. Even if that involves ourselves. If you ask me, I think iddjit did a very good job against me. He had me laughing through that whole post.

    This is why I stay out of discussions like this because people end up taking it serious at on point or another. Worst part is, I think I may have started this one. 🙁

    But at this time, I am bowing out of this thread for I have done a bit of ownage to myself.

    I wish you fuckers luck. Oh and just for reference, my dick doesn’t swing that way iddjit. Of course there was this one time in band camp. . . .

  40. Alord, I understand exactly what you are saying. Yes you do work that very fine balance between the two very well when you have to. Also, you have given me a little insight on it. I am the same way but I have slipped off my game as of late. You are right, most people won’t understand for two reasons. One, many are thick headed (Which is what I was doing.) Two, no matter what you say to try and show them, duuuhhh sorry but you are wrong! I understand because I was working the same angle and totally dropped the ball.

    Which is okay, because I picked it back up and I am off!

    Am I close?

  41. Ahh.. alord, your argument is neither new or different. If anything, it’s just incorrect. Aside from your own value judgement of slim being better than fat.. you actually have little leg to stand on. A better argument would be “it’s better to be healthy than worry about weight.” Many people who are slim are not healthy and an overweight person with good cardiovascular health will be healthier and more long-lived then a slim person without. Thus, I’m not exactly sure what facts you’re basing your argument on.. unless, of course, you’re joining the majority of ignorant souls on the internet who think their personal opinion is indisputable fact. I’m going to guess this is in fact the case.. because like many of those internet trolls, you also appear to lack the reading comprehension skills to understand 1.) the point I was attempting to make and 2.) notice that I did not in fact correct anyone’s spelling.. in fact, that was iddjit up there who was all worked up because I dared to have a typo.

    Futhermore, (and of course this is my opinion) when trolling the trolls, if you’ve pushed the troll to the point of nonsensincal ranting, overuse of exclamation points, and bragging about their life to attempt to prove they aren’t in fact a loser (e.g. posts 167 and 174 on this thread), then I’d say the troll troller wins.

    Thus, by using that barometer, I’m going to take my epic win. Thanks to all the dimwitted trolls that made this win possible.

    And lastly, to make it really, really god awful simple for you.. the one and only point I’ve tried to make is this:

    Hating people for the way they look is bigotry and prejudice. The fact that some of you individuals are so disgusted by fat people says a lot more about your mental instability, personal insecurities, and bigoted perspective on the world than anything about said fat person. Such behavior is far more disgusting than any “fattie.” So, do us all a favor, grow up and actually educate yourself before exposing us to your ignorant drivel. There’s far too much of that on the internet already.

    And.. I can already guess at some of the responses to this.. “this is Lamebook.. why are you getting so serious? We laugh at people all the time.”

    And there’s two reasons why that’s a pathetic excuse for your behavior:
    1.) Hate is hate. No matter what. Even if you found the fat person funny.. telling everyone how disgusting fat people are goes beyond that. Plain and simple, you’re just another bigot in a place that’s full of them.
    2.) There’s a fine line between humor and hate. Whether it be directed at fat people, black people, short people, etc. One day, maybe you’ll learn that. But, since I’m guessing you’re a 30-something cubicle monkey who spends most of his work hours trolling internet boards, I’m going to guess it’s much, much too late for that.

    And on that note, I’m done now.. I’ll take my “epic win” and be on my way.

  42. Fatality!

    Yeah I’m out too. Fuck this thread, I have wangs to suck.

  43. Did Siobhan perform her signature fatality move, i.e. eating her opponent?

    Anyway, if getting rearted teenagers like Iddjit to use exclamation marks counts as “epic win” nowadays…. then I guess you’ve won, dear.

    Thequeen, to quote a famous poet “Ah, so now you’re eating? What a fake anorexic. I’m disappointed.”

  44. @ siobhan

    i just wasn’t happy about being grouped with the likes of iddjit. i thought that was unfair of you.

    my fat vs. slim argument, was based purely on aesthetics.

    i can just about understand the aesthetic appeal of a rubenesque venus. but obese people? not attractive.

    slim (i said slim, not thin – check your semantics) is better than fat, apart from a few ridiculously anomalous examples.

    i also never said you weren’t a good debater. you just haven’t won. maybe it’s an impasse. you’re obviously bright.

    truce? 🙂

  45. Huh, why cannot I see the pic with the girl that everyone’s talking about? Has it been removed?

  46. The bottom line is a picture of a fat girl isn’t funny and leads to this, nearly two hundred comments of utterly boring shite.

    Lesson learned?

  47. I sure as hell hope so.

  48. Poor rat 🙁 Made me cry 🙁

  49. I don’t remember last August, but I’m pretty sure that I was around. How did I miss 200 comments post defending fatness?!

    The rat one was sad 🙁

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