Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Stated Standards

previous post: Too Much. Period.



  1. @49
    ah, a female, this throws my analysis. Instead you are clearly jealous that this obviously very eligible bachelor is not interested in your type. I assume you aren’t ‘real’ enough to be his woman. Also, I would guess you don’t regularly dress in a mini-skirt, daisy duke shorts and 6 inch high heels (as I understand that would be extremely painful/impossible to walk around in all day). An obvious mistake, well atleast if you don’t want to end up dating some broke dude posting bullitens with ‘take one’ slips for dates at the bottom. But, who wouldn’t wanna be with someone like that?

  2. Someone needs to introduce Malik to Second Life. That’s about the only place he’ll find a woman that wears daisy dukes & F*ck-Me heels on a daily basis. Added bonus, tho… she’ll be beautifully disproportionate, into 3- & 4- ways, and disease free!

  3. I know, Jon. I know 🙁

    why can’t I ever find a guy who likes a non-promiscuous, jeans/dress wearing, flat shoed sporting chick? i mean in public anyway, it’s not like i’m NO fun

    it’s hard knowing people like Malik are real and don’t want girls like me 🙁

  4. i’m kinda the opposite of this guy. i like girls who dress conservatively, have self-respect and good moral values and whatnot.

  5. He has very exquisite handwriting.

  6. Um..I do the same thing…but I don’t like girls with long fingernails.

  7. @bunnyball – thank you! Now I need to get on with the job in hand – trying to convince Malik that he should lower his expectations and date me. I’m even considering letting him wear a condom …. just him though.

  8. dude has same birthday than me…

  9. except for the year

  10. AHAHAHAH I called! bahahahaha! I love my life!

  11. Is there a transcription of your call, courtenay?

  12. @shinsplints
    All foolish mistakes Shinsplints but have no fear, I will give you a 5 step lesson on how to get rich, handsome, succesful bachelors like malik (richness, handsomeness and succesfulness will all be relative…mostly to homeless people) to like you. Step 1: forget any knowledge you have, this will frighten and agitate your average bulliten posting man. Step 2: dress everyday like you’re on your way to work. At the strip club. Step 3: Become a stripper! (this will give you both immediate power over and access to men like malik) Step 4:Surgery and lots of make-up, nothing gets a guy like malik going more then fake women. They’re the only ones real enough for him. Step 5: take a ‘good for one date’ ticket and be prepared to pay for everything. Luckily, with all that new stripper money, this won’t be a problem.

  13. Oh Jon, it seems so obvious now. i just hope that in forgetting all of my knowledge i can still count out enough one dollar bills to pay for our meals. dang it i’m still thinking too much! i guess this will be hard work but if it gets me someone like malik, well shit, no pain no gain right?

  14. I like Malik. He has neat handwriting and fairly good at spelling (considering).

  15. I don’t make the cut at all, It breaks my heart. I’ve always wanted a chubby 40 year old UPS sorter, who lives with his momma and tells me what skank pants to wear and colour my hair should be.

    In momma’s words: “What did you do malik?… What did you do?” LOL

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