Thursday, January 27, 2011

Talkin’ Dirty

previous post: Tuff Stuff



  1. “You remind me of my father…”

  2. “You sound like Chewbecca when you moan.”

  3. slicingupeyeballs

    “You look like Chewbacca from this angle”

  4. slicingupeyeballs

    “Isn’t this a sin Father O’Malley”

  5. “Your brother is WAY better at that…”

  6. “something smells a lil fishy”

  7. “does this rag smell like chloroform to you?” quickly followed by “don’t worry, it wasn’t consensual my first time either”

  8. “sorry about the scabs”

  9. “Honey, I’m home”

  10. Is “ill start” supposed to be “I’ll start” or “That was an ill start”? Because either one seem an odd comment to make during sex regardless.

  11. Douchetastic, it’s “I’ll start” then below you see he made the first comment. He was saying that he will start with the things you don’t want to hear, not that I’ll start is one of the things you don’t want to hear.

  12. “Can you hurry it up a bit, I’m missing Eastenders?”

  13. Can you move your head a bit, I’m missing Eastenders.

  14. I was thinking he meant “I’ll start” which in a way is something you might not to hear.

    Taz, maybe he shouldn’t have said “things you don’t want to hear during sex: I’ll start”

    The : indicated that “I’ll start” is his answer.

  15. Ah fuck it, lets just watch Eastenders then.

  16. Lol. Eastaenders????

  17. slightly off topic but..

    What’s the best way to piss off your spouse while having sex??

  18. Phone them…

  19. Ok now that makes much more sense. The way it reads, “ill start” is the first answer. ~lol~ Thanks for clearing it up.

  20. ‘I’m going back to molesting children”

  21. Also you don’t want to hear that during sex…Tiddy Boom

  22. snoring would be a bad thing to hear

  23. the worst thing i’ve ever heard during sex: “ma’am, this is a theme park.”

  24. “What the hell is that?”

  25. “honey when you shaved you must have missed a pube… Oh… Nevermind”

  26. I used to look at my ex-bf during sex with a blank look and say in my shrillest, tiniest little-girl voice “MommEE?” he hated it but I couldn’t stop saying it and he’d eventually give up in disgust while I rolled around laughing hysterically

  27. He got me back later on, started spontaneously talking like a fat, elderly Isaac Hayes during sex. When we did both voices at the same time… well, we entertained our roommates.

  28. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

  29. omg my ex used yo do this lil gril voice where she say mister what are you doing im only 12 my shit used to go so soft

  30. “Who’s ya daddy? Me, actually”

    “Yeah, I’m pre-op”

    “I’m an animal lover, literally”

    I’m sure mofo won’t disappoint us.

  31. Surprise!

  32. ‘Moooooo’
    The sound of a spine snapping.
    ‘Please sir, can I go play out with the rest of the kids?’
    ‘Now the rest of the gang’s here we can really jizz this cunt up’
    ‘Prisoner 4321 put down the chair leg and step away from the arse’
    ‘Imamofo…psst Imamofo…I don’t think she’s dead’
    ‘Grmmph mmmffth, urghhh mmmpfh?’ (Can I take my tongue out of your shit chute now?)

  33. “I’m sorry, did I fall asleep again?” The ‘again’ made it brilliant.
    My friend did actually say that to someone, after snorting herself awake. Amazingly he came back a few more times, even after “Oh… Is that it?”, “Already?” and “You’re not in…oh wait. You were”.

  34. Hands down the best comments on any post.

  35. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    step away from the arse

    That’s classic.

  36. “I can’t do this with you anymore, I heard you were a pedophile.”
    “A what?”
    “A pedophile.”
    “Pedophile? That sure is a big word for a 10 year old.”

  37. “That’s not how your mother used to do it”
    Or if you’re a guy “That’s not how your father does it”

  38. I love you guys 🙂

  39. R. Kelly in my closet. Actually, that might be pretty funny.

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