Thursday, May 28, 2009

Zack Attack



Zack.  Dude.  Take it down a notch.
Now I’m not gonna lie; Colorado is a beautiful place.  But just because you’re there doesn’t mean you can’t pop a few Xanax here and there, OK?  These posts are telling me you have a shit-ton of pent up energy just surging through those fingertips of yours like giant bolts of mountain dew-powered lighting.  I’m glad you’re having a good summer, but let’s just take it a bit easier on the Caps Lock button from here on out.
♥ The Editors

previous post: Not Smarter Than a 5th Grader



  1. I wonder what this guy sounds like in person. I imagine something like Jerry Lewis in the early days.

  2. this should get the lamester of the month and/or year award.

  3. i could sleep better not knowing people like that exist.

  4. Oh yay! I’m glad my dearest lil Zack finally made it on here! I think John should be next 🙂

  5. Apparently if you add .comziggity and then a / after jibberish you must clarify that it is not a real url or people will be confused

  6. “Keep checking for updates”
    yeah right

  7. And that is why people in Colorado hate Texans so much.

  8. !!!!&?!?!@@@HHHHH MY goSHHHH MOUNt@inbikin with the boyzzzzzzzzz!!!!1!! . go back to texas please

  9. Zach needs to BURN

  10. I hope he sees these comments

  11. tibit of wisdom for the day: SHUT THE FUCK UP ZACK (not a real “url” lolz HA)

    so many jokes…so little time

  12. i seriously have a hard time reading that. and why does he think that people care that he’s in colorado? cause i don’t

  13. I want Zach to be my booooy.

  14. someone needs meds

  15. id really like to know if people like this have any sense of shame or perhaps the thought that no one really gives a tiny shit about their current longitude and latitude ever crosses their tiny mind

  16. I’m sure his keyboard is just messed up like he’s missing a couple keys… or a couple screws.

  17. thank god i haven’t run into this douchebag in “D-TOWN BOYYYEEEE!”

  18. It’s fucking Denver for gods sake! Lame.

  19. I can’t believe this person is allowed to communicate with other human beings. there should be an application process for reproducing and you would definitely fail.

  20. maybe zack shud reduce his sugar intake and get himself checked for ADD (attention deficit disorder)…since he seems to be craving for attention through his hyper-active-mental updates.

  21. zack puts the N in INCREDIBLE! (which makes no sense…)

  22. He’s a funny LIL guy! 🙂

  23. OMGOSH!!!!! WHY doe they like…. TALK (type :-].,,,.)lik THIS!!!!!!! H@@@@H@H@H@H!! THEY (lol!!1!1) sound sssssssssssssso dumbbbbbbbbbb xD…………………………………………………………………………………. they ARE (:D)………………………… W-E-I-R-D COMMENTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. OMFGooooooooooooooooooooodnessssssssss! this post waz the bombdiggity.comziggity (dont forget its still not a url lolz) it makes me want to cry *sniff sniff* but in the good way.


  25. How does someone even type like that? Did the next generation learn to type like monkeys banging on a keyboard? If I were to try to type like that, I would probably just end up with carpal tunnel. I mean, I would have to put extra effort into being that incoherent and idiotic.

  26. He’s probably really quiet in person.

  27. Hey should be a spokesperson for PowerThirst

  28. This guy clearly isn’t aware that he’s gay yet.
    Sure Zack, tell yourself you like fishing and mountain biking. and while you’re at it just act like it was a complete coincidence that you stared at your friends’ ass while they were riding their bikes. and it must have been hard casting that rod when really you were thinking of casting beads at other men during mardi gras.

    Typing like that makes you suck.

  29. bombdiggity.comziggity/4realz



    Who says that?!! Who is lame enough to even consider seriously saying anything like that.
    What the hell.


  30. he speaks in “lol cats” language. do people like this really exist? if so i hope my time on this planet is short, so i never have to run into one of them

  31. This guy sounds hilarious. How can I friend this guy?!

  32. He drinks Brawndo. It’s got electrolytes.

  33. I love Logan

  34. This one should come with a warning: “May induce seizures in those diagnosed with epilepsy.”

  35. @ryan.. euginism much?

    this guy needs nitrazis ^^

  36. I don’t get how people can type things like this and think it’s a good idea to click submit.

  37. Xanax is for anxiety disorders and depression, not overexcited/having too much energy

  38. first of all, i do not think he is from texas. by “big d” i think they mean denver not dallas. i’m from texas and i would be incredibly offended if this piece of shit grew up around me. plus i don’t think there are too many valley boyzzzzzz in texas.

    secondly, garrett + zach = future life partners

    thirdly, logan is too sensible to associate himself with these guys.

    fourthly, i find it hilarious that zach is so uberchristian that he says omfgooooodnesssss rather than the typical omfg.

  39. This made me feel violated… ADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MMMuuuuuuuCCCccHHHHhhhh???!!!?!?!?!!

  40. This is what happens when you subject your children to uber-Christian living … they try to be cool and come off ascompletely homosexual. That poor kid *thinks* he’s cool … heh


  42. TWEAK! AH!

  43. zack’s status updates are giving me headaches

  44. Why does this guy make me think of a character you’d see being made fun of on Family Guy?

  45. Is this guy real?

  46. I would keep this guy on my friend list for just long enough to send a submission to Lamebook. It’s really fun trying to think of what he would sound like if he actually talked like this, though.

  47. hahaha this made me laugh. This guy obviously has yet to drop his ballsack.

  48. Anyone who’s actually live in Colorado from out of state will you that it blows hard. I lived in Aurora for four months and that shit sucked, got on a plane soon as I could afford it.

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