Friday, September 18, 2009

Bring Proper English Back


previous post: Josh’s Bloody List



  1. It’s who I am. It’s how I roll.

  2. It’s actually a semi sweet (if cheesy) message.
    But the writing… I can just see Tom as some long, lanky git with skin full of pimples, and a face as ugly as sin.
    Kirsty is most likely fat, mousey and underage.

  3. Fuck me, if it were not for the translation above i wouldn’t have been able to read this….

  4. @ STC I agree headache material indeed.

  5. @jelly – you won’t be suprised to learn you are not far wrong

  6. fck yr lf

  7. @Steve – It’s as though their image speaks to me through his prose…
    I would also like to hypothesise that Carley is illiterate – nobody who could read would “like” this.

  8. @Buddy Christ & @Boz
    A sensible and reasoned debate chaps, however may I throw APD into the mix. As an Englishman living in the country in NSW I have to put up with people with Antipodian Pronunciation Disorder all the time. Why does everybody respond with a question?

  9. Can we put Tom on Josh’s Bloody List??

  10. Toms now working in my pet shop so u can all fuck ureselves but i can confirm his birds dumped him so “e’s bak n da sht”

  11. I bet the toucan do better than Tom

  12. @Too Soon?

    It’s even worse in California. Everyone inflects upwards at the end of EVERY SENTENCE.

    “So, I was like at this store? And we were shopping? And we got this totally cool pair of shoes?” etc.

  13. @Jane Not so fast! I speak a language with phonetic approach to spelling (so there’s really no spelling at all) and I still find it hard to understand this guy.

  14. kil mi nao.

  15. Tom, you’re a prick, go to school.

  16. When you all say ‘British’ i think you should clarify – and say ‘English’.
    By the way, I don’t know if I’m still classed as ‘youth’ as I’m 20 and there’s no way I’d ever type like that. Ever.

  17. @Boz

    Awww, I’d always liked reading your posts until you lowered your usual standards and decided to insult the entire Australian population.

    We have our fair share of idiots, just like any country (most of them are in parliament). I’m sure even the USA and UK don’t have a higher proportion of idiots, despite the imported crap we see on TV here giving us the impression that they do.

    Oddly enough… I’m married to an American who says he was glad to leave all the idiots behind when he moved to Australia. I guess everyone has their own opinion, educated or not 🙂

    C’mon Boz, leave off the nationality insults and just stick to your usually intelligent posts.

  18. holy fucking shit. i stopped guessin’ after the second line.

  19. @David (reply 27), That’s EXACTLY what came through my mind… Jeez!

  20. someone quick poke a hole in his head and drain out the stupid

  21. Enough with the Aussie-bashing already (which is old hat anyway as it comes from Deep Jealousy and Resentment on account of sunburnt country, sweeping plains, ragged mountain ranges, far horizons, jewel sea, et al). AS IF all the English were paragons of pronunciation and enunciation!

    “Why can’t the English learn to speak?” – Henry Higgins

  22. How can Carley like this shit?
    Tom is a wanker.

  23. Ohmy. That took a lot of brain power to decipher. Hahahaha x]

  24. Oh my god. It actually is like trying to read old English. My generation scares me

  25. Oh, shit, my nose is bleeding.
    Oh. No, it’s just my brain seeping out through my nostrils.

  26. New law.. Anyone who talks/types etc like this will be shot on sight.

  27. the ahrdest part about reading something like this is that you spend so much time trying to decipher it, and afterwards, when readng the comments about it, real words like ‘New law’ don’t seem to make any sense until you turn off your ‘dickhead internet speech’ filter…

  28. Well at least he spelled God right even though he didn’t capitalize it… Dickhead!!

  29. God fucking damn it, WHY the HELL does half the population on the internet write like that? Honestly, It hurts my brain trying to understand what the hell they’re saying

  30. i believe i’m short a few brain cells now. but congratulations, kristy. your future children with tom will probably be great scholars.

  31. my bad… kirsty. all of the bad spelling and improper grammar has rendered me dyslexic.

  32. For those who are taking a swip at the Aussies, myself included, I’d like to point out that you would actually be referring to bogans, or equivalent to chavs. The two actually speak alike. Bogans live in Austraya by the way

  33. So fucking embarassed to be Australian right now.

  34. stop being mean to us Aussies, and it is Bogans that talk like retards 😀

  35. @who wants cake: I’m 24 & I wouldn’t have been able to understand a word of this had @Bry not reposted it in as proper English as possible. I think age & attitude are irrelevant here.

  36. Michael J. deManincor

    Is that Ebonic’s?

  37. This would've been sweet ...

    if it had been understandable. o~o;

  38. The fact that I could actually understand that scares me.

  39. I love how people automatically assume that because it’s terrible English, it must a Brit…

  40. I think that if it’s terrible English, it’s more likely an American than a Brit.

  41. I’m British, and sometimes I feel like an anomaly, what with being able to speak and write coherently. Sadly, there are a lot of people like Tom here. However, his typing seems more like “text speak” than any kind of regional slang.

  42. Aw come on, we aren’t THAT bad at spelling are we….??

    Actually, I take that back. *is reading her conversations on facebook and msn*

    Laura *RUSAN RULET* : hey!
    Me: Hey! darling, it’s spelt “russian roulette”. might save you blushes 😛
    Laura *RUSAN RULET* : YA i No. bt i dnt cear lol 😛 u no me! lmoa.

    *sighs* I don’t know why I bother.

  43. That’s a mackem or a mag. 5 bucks says so.

  44. blatantly a mackem… i like how someone i assume to be american hates mackems [or even knows what one is] too!!

  45. dorty mackems

  46. @ #5: Almost there, now work on your punctuation.

  47. my head hurts……

  48. Its the fucking Beatles

    Why are you assuming this twat is a Brit? He could just as easily be an American. Stop being such a bunch of hypocrites. Britain may have it’s fair share of idiots, but you’re not exactly a nation of geniuses either now are you? 😉

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