Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Love Hurts

previous post: Background Checks



  1. Somebody get these lovely ladies some kerosene.

  2. C’mooon, that last one’s obviously a joke.

    And I love 1. Did he really write that on his phone right at the table?

  3. I say obviously, maybe I just have too much faith in the human race.

  4. Must have been a crappy date for BOTH of them to be on Facebook during it . . .

  5. i agree with tho hobster

  6. Hobo, you could possibly have a little too much faith. I am on the fence on whether they are serious or not . . .

  7. Holy shit batman them girls are bat shit crazy. Can’t tell if its a joke or not, since I knew chicks in High-school like that I would not be surprised if it is real.

  8. Hobes, I love the first one too, and on that very amusing note, I need some sleep. Australia plays in a few hours, and I must get up to support them.

  9. Oh aye. Good luck to the Aussies. England are playing right now and to be honest it seems like nobody in the country gives a shit. A couple of weeks back and I couldn’t move for being punched in the face by patriotism, but now everyone’s just given up.

  10. LoL as much as I understand Jakes situation…
    God man really??
    Do you have to be a big pussy and whinne on Facebook?

  11. krasivaya_devushka

    Are you that addicted to Facebook that you have to be on it while on a date? Even if it was that bad, I personally wouldn’t be doing that.

  12. And #3 is like the Twilight effect… its all cute and romantic in theory when it is a hot rich celebrity that portrays a absurd situation of absolute love.

    But the second I show up at a women’s house in the middle of the night and sneak into her room with matches, gasoline and rope while she sleeps… IM A STALKER!!! Oh the injustice!!

  13. I can’t tell what’s more humorous, the fact that he got caught writing that message, or that they both are on fb while on a date.

  14. Well this explains the divorce rate.

  15. I wonder if Laura realizes what the hell being “pig-roasted” really means when it comes to sex, or if she’s just naming random things that get cooked over a fire.

  16. I don’t know what roasted marshmallows Chloe has been seeing. All of the ones I’ve seen have a thin brittle coating and are warm and gooey on the inside (much like her feelings).

  17. Michaella proved she was a wench with the FU comment. SHe could have had so much more fun: “Just reach across the table and tell me then.” or “Oh I really want to let this guy bang me…but”

  18. Dawn of the Dan

    …den i realized i wuz hungry n so i told her we should get back together so she would make me breakfast. then i had sex wit her n after that i told her i never wanted to see her again. so yah, clearly ur all wrong about me bein a jerk!

  19. I’m sorry Jake, I stand corrected….

  20. I’m not sure if the blame goes to Robert or Michaela, or if they both share some guilt, but the fact that they’re both sitting there at dinner facebooking on their cell phones tells me that it wasn’t meant to be. Upon further review, though, Robert used the term “wackest” to describe the date, so I’m going to go ahead and say it’s all his fault.

  21. Ash...Housewares

    Michaella, someone’s a bit full of herself now isn’t she?

    Jake? Buddy? You will never be called (nor should you be allowed to) testify in open court. At All. About anything.


    The last one is clearly a joke. It’s self-evident.

    It’s Robert’s fault in the first one, as evidenced by Alana liking the status. Robert and Alana have obviously got something going on, so he’s not gonna enjoy any date unless it’s in her bed.

    Jake is lame.

  23. I love the girls in the last entry – clearly they are being ironic with the he-only-abuses-me-because-he-loves-me-so-much attitude that sneaks into some of the popular “romantic” movies and songs. That shit creeps me right out, everytime.

    I’m dating myself, but was forced to watch “You’ve Got Mail” with mum-in-law and sis-in-law back in the day, and they were both tearing up at the romance. I was utterly horrified and kept telling them throughout the movie that Tom Hanks was a freaking STALKER!

  24. @ Dawn of the Dan-your comment was at least as funny as the lamebook entries…spot on.

  25. Well, if it’s Michaella from the Hills, that explains everything. Bitch is EVERYWHERE!

  26. That’s hilarious, Miss Shegas. There’s a lot of stalker behavior in romantic movies that would get a dude arrested if he tried it in real life. Remember that one movie with Christian Slater, where he broke into the chick’s apartment and filled it wall-to-wall with roses? That dude’s probably not just going to jail, he’s going to have to register with authorities when he gets out.

  27. Wonder what happened to Robert and Michaella after that?

  28. Jake’s is funny 🙂

  29. CommentsAtLarge

    Wackest? Robert’s mobile web must be broadcasting from the mid-1990’s.

    @Bulldog and Miss Shegas
    When you think about it, there is quite a bit of stalker activity in romantic movies (John Cusack in “Say Anything” standing outside the window with the stereo). Also, Miss S, Hanks was just getting Ryan back for stalking him in “Sleepless in Seattle.”

  30. Robert’s status states its from Mobile web but Michaella’s doesn’t. That makes me think that either He wasn’t on a date with Michaella, or she literally ran home after dinner to post that status. All in the same ten minute time frame.

  31. Also it’s pretty clear the last one is heavy sarcasm. It’s especially clear when Chloe says she likes marshmallows cuz then she can look on the outside like he makes her feel on the inside….though I wouldn’t have added the gooey part.
    Haven’t recently been camping I’ve been reminded that the outside looks a lot like crispy black char. Which is certainly how I’d feel on the inside being with someone like that.

  32. So true Comments! I forgot about the Sleepless stalking, and Say Anything – good call!

    I’m a girly girl, not an in your face, “Fuck, yeah I’m a womyn, watch me chop these logs while frying up the placenta from the child I just gave birth to as I was cultivating my organic wheat grass” kind of chick, but I live in an area where it’s legal to roll heavy, and generally do.

    Break into MY apartment unannounced and you’re much more likely to get filled with lead than a roll in the hay. The cavalier attitude of “Oh, it’s romaaaaantic when a man gives you unwanted and unsolicited attention”, in pop culture is disturbing, and will def stick out as being as dated as Don Draper in a couple generations.

    Someone commented on the causal antisemitism in a post earlier this week, and I venture that there is at least as much casual, possibly unintended, sexism/misogyny.

    Shit, sorry, kids. I got all serious there for a minute. 🙁 Now, back to casual c*ntiness (that word gets you moderated now), instead!

  33. CommentsAtLarge

    @Miss S

    Here I was going to pull up to your place, blaring opera, and sweep you away down the fire escape a la Richard Gere. Glad I know you’re armed now. Besides, no fried placenta? Why make the trip… 😉

    A little unsolicited attention is nice (smile and maybe a small wave from a stranger that thinks you’re attractive, something like that) but there’s definitely a line.

    Totally unrelated and possibly stupid question — how do you bold text in your comment?

  34. I was very much being sarcastic when I wrote this post. It is relatd to the new Eminem and Rihanna song. Both of us were very much kidding. I’d rather not be lit on fire.

  35. Anyone who actually thinks they’re serious (and use it as an opportunity to slam some irrelevant book series that -really- doesn’t affect you) makes me lose faith in the human race.

    I feel bad for Michaella, though. :/ Poor girl.

  36. There’s nothing I like more than a bit of completely unwanted attention… wait…anomaly anyone.
    Anyway, drag me kicking and screaming back to your man cave, tie me to the bed and set me on fire. I won’t mind. Though I’ll say I will. But I won’t. But I will. But I won’t….

  37. She ain’t gonna tie me down.. sorry, just had to.

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