Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Total Carnage

previous post: Put a Sock in It!



  1. The Flight Club quote at the end makes it more awesome!


  3. Those “cars” should be full-sized white vans.

  4. Fucking love that idea. And it would make a fucking mint cunting film.

  5. hahaa, I gotta try this shit.

  6. What happens if one of them actually makes it through alive? I don’t want to actually buy a car from them and it seems like such a dick move to say “just kidding” at the end. Should I hire an archer to stay nearby so they can shoot the winner?

  7. but then you would have to pay the archer

  8. Yeah, but it might be worth it. I don’t know. I’m still on the fence about it.

  9. kill him with your bare hands, you fucking princess.

  10. But killing him with my bare hands would be boring. Everyone would be all, “Meh, seen that before.” It only gets interesting when you bring in weapons.

  11. teeth are weapons.

  12. teeth is also a movie

  13. Not neccesarily a very good weapon, though.

  14. see a dentist.

  15. Buying a car is not cheaper than a movie

  16. You go right ahead and use your teeth as a weapon. I’d be there, to laugh at you, but I have better things to do.

  17. it will be hard to laugh after I chew your throat out.

  18. It will be hard to chew my throat out when you don’t have any teeth.

  19. yes. it will be. but you’ll be long-digested by then.

  20. You are mistaken, you’ll find my fist can connect to your mouth quite a long time before you could get your jaws around me.

  21. You’ll freeze up.
    They always freeze up, right before the end.

  22. Jesus Christ, get a room you two^^.
    With a video camera.

  23. So the friend gets my hopes up by writing an articulate, witty, and original response to this post, then totally fucks it up by writing “each other” as a single word twice. Le sigh.

  24. MsAnne- I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.
    freddy- If you plan on selling anything taped in said room, I get 60% in royalties
    puck- Um, it’s not really that big of a deal, is it?

  25. Yes, it’s a big deal, Laila! It made him sigh! In French!
    Some people just don’t understand.

  26. Bacchante, stop inherently bothering Laila.
    We DO NOT wish to witness her try to grow another pair. The first time was excruciating enough, and she still hasn’t worked out exactly what to do with them.

  27. I can’t help it if I’m inherently bothersome… well, I probably could, but Laila has no power. I’m guessing she’s a kindy teacher and just wants everyone to get along like they used to when she was a small child.

  28. I hope she isn’t a kindy teacher. Bitch threatened to punch me in the mouth!
    That’s some violent tendencies right there.

  29. No, I would make a terrible teacher.

  30. No one gets royalties. You get a one-time rate, and that’s it. This isn’t Hollywood, and people aren’t going to pay to air this fight. It’s only going to be a YouTube “sensation” like Kimbo Slice, not a multimillion dollar blockbuster hit.

    After you each are paid, I get the rest of the profits, and that’s final.

    Now shut up and punch each other.

  31. No way, man! I haven’t fucking signed anything.
    The way you try to rip off the artists is worse than all the RIAAs of the whole world! We are the 99% and you’re just a greedy fatcat who should be torn to shreds by a baying mob.

  32. If this actually went anywhere, maybe I could be the fat cat, but you guys have completely lost all the sizzle before 30 comments. This is pathetic. Currently, your “tiny” wage is probably more than I stand to make off of this. Google, however, could make millions off of this one if the video takes off, but it won’t be enough for anyone to get rich if you guys keep up this mild-mannered cotton ball fight.

  33. Where’s edge when you need her, hey? She’s fun with the retaliation. Laila is a bit of a snooze.

  34. nah man. this shit is all bullshit and fucked-up!
    I demand a living wage, you corporate sonofawhore!

    [/angrily pickets beatusmongous]

  35. It’s impossible to have a piece of a product that doesn’t exist, so until you get back to work, neither of us will get anything. Where the hell did Leila go? Is she out with Freddy again? Dammit, this whole production is falling to pieces. We have puppies that need petting, dogs that need walking, and a fight that needs to be fought. Let’s hustle. People. We have work to be done before anyone here can get paid.

  36. Oh, and that flat fee was originally in the seven figure range, but now, it’s working its way down to only five figures.

  37. what the fuck kind of nepotism is this shit?
    I WILL NOT work under these conditions.
    I want my union rep on set NOW.

  38. If you want me I’ll be in my trailer.

  39. Oh, hey guys. I just woke up. What’s going on?

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