Monday, September 7, 2009

The Internet Always Remenerbers



As history tells us, drinking copious amounts of alcohol plus transferring information from one to another never turns out well…most of the time. The same holds true for status updates. Hannah, cut your losses and fill the void with a pepperoni pizza.

previous post: *A Wee Bit Lame*



  1. You needed to be dropped off, Hannah. You were going to embarrass everyone at the party.

  2. @Sixkiller

    You’ve pretty much contradicted yourself by calling me an overweight vegan – seeing as vegans don’t eat meat or dairy, both of which are huge contributors to weight gain – vegans are generally actually underweight. Silly boy

  3. @Lamebookers

    You forgot another flaw in his statement: married.
    vegans are usually gay.

  4. @Hannah Call me, I’ll do you, unless u puke on me…

  5. I agree with Lamebookers. I know from personal experience that typing with correct spelling and grammar is pretty easy when drunk…..up to a limit! That limit being, if your so drunk that you can barely type at all, then its doubtfull you’d be intrested in typing anything in the first place.
    The real danger of typing stuff on the internet when drunk is this: The mind becomes uninhibited, so words flow from your fingertips easily…. Surprised at your own dexterity and mental clarity, you drunkenly reason that you cant be that drunk at all, but what you end up typing is something really regrettable….regrettable not because it looks like you’ve typed whilst drunk ! Oh no ! Regrettable because it looks like you weren’t drunk at all !!! (Its not a nice feeling believe me!) So in my opinion, this Hannah girl is just milking it to cover her arse and ease the guilt she knows she’ll have when she wakes up.

  6. MannequinSkywalker

    I hate friends like that!!!12Q

  7. errr… no wonder they left her at home! An embarrassment

  8. Just imagine if they DID bring her to the party when she’s in that condition xD

  9. @ …

    That’s how geeky 14 y/o’s get laid bud…

  10. And I thought you were my freirwyn…

  11. @Gina, this isn’t a welsh kid we’re talking about.
    It’s a drunk kid that finds drinking a good way to not go to a party.

  12. No way can she blame alcohol alone for that atrocity. I’ve been so hammered I couldn’t see straight and don’t even remember most of the night, but from my message history I can see that I was typing just as coherently as before, when I was sober. This cunt is just a piece of shit who probably types in ebonics anyway.

  13. @derp

    Boy, it seems you have no idea how drunk a human being can be. Not that it’s anything to brag about, but I can tell you from experience, that when you drink several days with not much sleep or food and start loosing days, your typing starts to be very un-coherent.

  14. …incoherent ;0)

  15. fake

  16. yeah there’s no way that that’s real, I agree with @freddan a few letters wrong here and there, but that just seems too played up.

  17. Total BS. I’ve been completely wasted online before. I’m talking drank multiple bottles of wine or most of a fifth of Jim Beam drunk and I’ve never come even close to typing this horribly. The occasional missed letter, or doubling up on letter, sure. But this is just ridiculous.

  18. So, an attempt at translation…:

    Post One:
    “Pretty much, I’m drunk as fuck and I hate everyone.”

    Post Two:
    “How can people who call themselves my “friends” just drop me off and then go to some party without me!!!! I HATE them. *What I believe is random frustration key pressing goes here.*”

    Post Three:
    “*Jargon* hate people who say they’re my friend and then go to parties without me because they think they’re better than me!! *More random frustrated key pressing here* Fuck, I hate them so much and what’s with my inability to form coherent sentences? I hate being drunk!!!”

    Post Four:
    “Whatever. I don’t need friends! I’m fine on my own. I fucking hate those people anyways.Fuck them! Fuck them so much. OMG why can’t I fucking type? When I’m sober again, hopefully I’ll remember this and never talk to them again because they suck!”

    Post Five:
    “*Jargon* *jargon* am I drunk. I can’t believe this shit. People who call themselves my “friends” get me drunk and then go to their party without me! WOW! How fucking retarded are you? YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME SO SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER. FUCK YOU!”

    Besides the ‘jargon’ parts, I believe I got that right. The only way that this can be possible is if it was updated from a mobile phone, but it doesn’t say that.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.